Luke and Peyt plus 8
by LeytonLoVe123
Summary: Semi-AU. Nothing of season 5 or 6 happened. The proposal, and Luke's following trip to New York, did. A week after Lucas left her in LA, Peyton realizes that she can't live without him. What if she was right when she turned him down? LP eventually.
1. Every Other Weekend

With a sigh, Peyton stood by the front door, waiting for the rest of her kids to get downstairs. "Come on, guys, we were supposed to leave to meet your father five minutes ago. It's time to get in the van," she called through the house, once again. The twins, Madison and Kerri, were already downstairs, along with Jessalyn, Ainsley and Ryan. Martin, Marissa and Seth, however, were nowhere to be seen. Martin and Seth came slowly down the stairs, overnight bags slung over their shoulders, but the last sextuplet was still MIA.

Just as Peyton was about to go find her youngest daughter, Marissa came into view, chatting incessantly on her cell phone to her latest boyfriend. She sent everyone a 'Well, what are we waiting for?' look as they all stared at her in disbelief. Peyton sighed again, but just ushered her kids outside. She didn't have time to deal with this, and she knew Marissa didn't want to go see her dad anyway. There was nothing she could do about it, though. The kids were required to visit him until they were 18, those were the custody rules.

All eight kids piled into the van, and Peyton climbed into the driver's seat. Kerri was in the passenger seat next to her. The twins usually switched off, because they were two years older than the sextuplets. Peyton allowed Kerri to switch the radio to a rock station, only because Marissa was still on the phone, and couldn't complain. She wasn't looking forward to seeing her soon-to-be ex-husband this weekend, not after such a crappy week, but it was his weekend, and she had to trade cars with him, because he didn't have a car big enough to fit all eight kids.

When she got to the park where they met every other weekend, to trade kids, she spotted his car, and parked a few spaces away from it in the parking lot. Peyton unbuckled her seatbelt and turned in her seat. "I guess I'll see you in a couple of days. I love you guys," she said, resisting the urge to look over at her soon-to-be ex, who she knew was now approaching the van. She knew what was coming when she looked at him. The kids all chorused their goodbye's as Peyton heard the driver's side door open, which meant she could avoid it no longer.

Taking in a deep breath, Peyton turned toward the front again, looking over at her husband. She felt that familiar flutter of her heart as her breath caught in her throat, and she had to remind herself that he was going to be her ex, just as soon as the divorce papers were filed. They were still in the process of getting that started, and sometimes, mostly whenever she saw him, she wished that they didn't have to get divorce papers. Then she would remember what he did, how he had ruined their marriage, and she would get that sick feeling in her stomach, which allowed her to take her gaze off of him.

Biting back the sarcastic remark that wanted to slip off her tongue, Peyton managed to keep her expression apathetic. She didn't want him to know that a part of her died every weekend that they had to trade the kids. That she hated sleeping in their bed alone, and had taken to sleeping in the guest bedroom until she could afford a new bed. That she hated going to those stupid meetings with their lawyers to discuss the division of their things. She didn't want him to know that all she wanted was to be held in his arms again, and if she let him know that all this was affecting her, he would know all of those things, because, as he'd told her repeatedly while they had been a happy couple, he'd always known her.

With a last goodbye to her kids, ignoring her estranged husband entirely, she grabbed her purse, and anything else she would need out of the van and slid out. It would have been the perfect way to make an exit, since she had to brush right past him. There was only one problem. As her feet hit the ground, her ankle twisted underneath her, because of the new heels she hadn't quite gotten used to walking in yet, and she nearly fell to the ground. The only thing that stopped her from being seriously injured was the arms that gripped her waist.

Her eyes had closed during the fall, and as he gently set her on her feet, she slowly opened them, a bit surprised at the fact that she hadn't hit pavement, but no matter what she tried to tell herself, that wasn't the reason why she was breathless. She didn't want him to let go of her, but she knew he had to. She was frozen, though, so no matter what he did, all she could do was stare into his deep blue eyes. The eyes that had graced her dreams for eighteen years of marriage, and now they haunted her dreams during the breaking of that marriage.

With that thought, she took a deep breath, pulling out of his grip. "Thank you, Lucas," she said her apathetic expression back on her face. It didn't matter how much she wanted to be back in his arms. That could never happen again. She took the keys to the car he had bought when she had kicked him out, told him the van keys were in the ignition and turned, her heels clicking against the pavement as she walked to the vintage Mustang. She had to admit, it was a nice car, almost an exact replica of the car he'd had in high school. She didn't look back at him as she walked away, though she felt his gaze on her the whole time.

Lucas hadn't even gotten into the van by the time Peyton had pulled out of the parking lot. Her phone beeped, and she pulled it out of her purse, which she had slung onto the passenger seat. She opened the text message, which was from Ainsley. It read: 'I wish you would just let Madi or Kerri drive the van. Then you wouldn't have to see him. It's bad enough we have to put up with him. You shouldn't have to.' Peyton was glad to have her children's support, but they really didn't understand. Half of them hated their dad for what he did. The other half wished things would go back to normal.

None of this was what she wanted. When she had gone back to him after he left her in that hotel room, she had really believed they were meant to be together forever, or she wouldn't have risked her pride. How did she get here, 37 and getting a divorce, with eight kids and a husband who had given up? Yeah, she had known things were hard, but she didn't expect him to just throw in the towel. Neither of them had really gotten their dream. His book had never gotten published, even though he met with that editor in New York. He had chosen to coach the Ravens and live in Tree Hill instead. She worked as an art teacher at the high school, but she wanted more, and she was pretty sure he did too. She just didn't think he'd actually look for more, instead of talking to her.

She had her kids, though, and a big family, and that was what she had always wanted. Especially since her family was so messed up, and his was too. Neither of them grew up in a two parent home, and she had wanted to give her kids that, if she didn't give them anything else. She had been pretty sure that she had done that, and that made her happy. She had thought that made him happy too. He had told her that was all he wanted, and, silly her, she had believed him. Just like that, she was taken back to that day.

FLASHBACK

It was a week after Lucas had left her alone in that hotel room, and Peyton realized something. This just wasn't working. He had taken her answer the wrong way, but she just couldn't allow him to walk out of her life. She had spent the past week at work doing nothing but crying, and she didn't want to be there anymore. She wanted to take a chance, and she wanted to do that with the man who had wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, just a week ago. Suddenly all of her arguements seemed stupid, if they meant she couldn't be with the love of her life.

So she quit her job, packed up her apartment, and hopped on a plane to Tree Hill, where her family and her home was. Not to mention the man of her dreams. When she landed, she was happy to be back in Tree Hill. It had been a year, and far too long since she had been home, and she felt the familiar feeling wash over her as she drove through the streets in her rental car. She had wanted to call Brooke, to see if her brunette best friend wanted to venture home with her as well, but she knew that Brooke was making it big in New York, which had always been her dream.

Peyton just drove through town for a while, reliving memories in a town she hadn't been in for more than a year. Her first stop was the Rivercourt. She wanted to go straight to Lucas's house, but she had no idea what she was going to say. So she decided to sit on that blacktop and wait for the words to come with her. She figured it would do her some good to remember the person she was a year ago. Looking back, LA hadn't been as good to her as she tried to make Lucas believe. She just didn't know if she'd be able to make it in music here, like Lucas had told her.

As she sat down, next to their signatures, she trailed her fingers over the letters of his name. She had been so happy, and in love the last time she was here. She was still in love, but LA had taken away some of her happiness. She honestly missed seeing Lucas every day, being with him. She only wished he would take her back. They were both different people, but she was sure they were still meant for each other. She hoped that he still believed in that too. She could picture them, years down the road, with a bunch of blonde, broody teenagers, and smiled at the vision. They would give them hell, but she wanted that.

Before Peyton could do anything else, Peyton heard her name being said. She hadn't heard the car pull up, but she would know that voice anywhere. She turned, since her back was toward him, and looked up at the man who had been occupying her thoughts. "Lucas," she replied, hurridely getting to her feet. She stayed where she was, looking into his eyes and trying to decipher the emotions in them. It looked like confusion, surprise, and happiness. Or maybe that's just what she wanted to see. Just in case, she didn't move, deciding to let him make the next move.

Running his hand through his hair, Lucas swallowed hard. He closed his eyes for a brief moment, then opened them again, but she was still there, standing in front of him, nervously biting her lip as she waited for him to do something. He honestly couldn't believe she was in Tree Hill, not when just a week before she had told him that LA was her new home. "What are you doing here?" he managed to ask around the lump that had formed in his throat. There were many questions he could have asked, but that seemed to be the best.

Still unable to tell if he wanted her there or not, Peyton sighed, taking her gaze away from his blue eyes. This was it, what she had come here for. Quitting her job, hopping on a plane to Tree Hill, it all meant nothing if she couldn't gather some courage for this moment right here. Taking a deep breath, she looked up at him again, more confident this time. "I made a mistake, Luke. I guess I didn't know that saying someday meant never. I should have said yes, and if marrying you is what it takes to keep you, I'll do it, because I can't live without you, Lucas. You're my dream, and you're all I need," she said.

There was a moment of silence as Lucas stood there with shock lining his every feature and Peyton closed her eyes, turning away. "I guess I'm too late. Sorry," she said, holding back tears as she turned away, planning to get into the rental car and drive back to the airport, getting on a plane to anywhere, as long as it was out of Tree Hill. She was stopped by a hand on her arm, though, and she turned, expecting just about anything except what happened. She couldn't say anything else, though, because Lucas's lips were on hers.

When she regained her grip on reality, she pulled back enough so she could look in his eyes, letting him know that he couldn't kiss his way out of this. He had to give her some kind of answer. "I've always wanted that, Peyton. I want everything with you, and I think that's been true since we were sixteen. It's taken us a long time to get here, and I don't care if I never sell my novel, and the best job I can get is working here for the Ravens. You're all I need, Peyton, and I want you to be my wife," he said, getting down on one knee as he spoke.

This time when he pulled the ring box out of his pocket, Peyton didn't force him to keep it closed. She was still scared of it's contents, but her fear didn't matter, as long as she had Lucas. "I don't know why I'm still carrying this on me. Maybe it was fate. All I know is, I want you to be Peyton Scott. What do you say?" he flipped open the ring box and held it out toward her, looking up at her with a boyish grin as he waited for the answer she had just given him. "Keep in mind, you did just say you wanted to marry me," he couldn't help but add.

Nodding furiously, and wiping at the happy tears that were now trailing down her cheeks, Peyton launched herself into his arms, kissing him and knocking him backwards onto the blacktop behind them. She nearly knocked the air out of him, but considering the fact that she was laying on top of him, not to mention making out with him, he didn't complain. His hands just held her waist, keeping her close to him, and kissing her back with just as much passion. Peyton's hands were braced on the ground on either side of his head, so she could at least keep some of her weight off of him, not that she weighed that much.

When she forced herself to pull back, she smiled at him sheepishly, getting to her feet and helping him get to his. "Does that mean you say yes?" he asked, teasing her. Instead of dignifying that with a response, Peyton grabbed the ring box from where it had fallen on the ground and plucked the ring out of it. He took it out of her hand before she could slip it on the ring finger of her left hand, and she glared at him, looking like she was about to smack him. "For someone who didn't want to look at the ring a week ago, you sure are anxious to wear it now," he teased again, taking her left hand and slipping the engagement ring on her finger.

Before she could respond, he brought her hand up to his lips, and kissed the ring, before holding her hand in both of his. "There, it's right where it should be," he said, looking down at the ring on her finger fondly. She looked down at it with a smile, but she couldn't help but feel the slightest sense of unease, as if they really were moving too fast. She quickly shoved the feeling aside. She knew she wanted to marry Lucas, what did it matter if it happened a little sooner than she had planned? As long as she got to be with him, that was what mattered, right? She'd rather have him as her husband than not have him at all.

END FLASHBACK

Obviously, the timing was everything. Or, maybe they just weren't as meant to be as everyone thought. As she had thought. That night, they conceived their twin girls. Lucas had turned down the book offer when they found out, because he wanted to stay home and help Peyton with the pregnancy. It was a complicated pregnancy, and after, doctors told her she wouldn't be able to get pregnant on her own again. So less than two years later, when they wanted just one more, they went to the fertility doctor and she got pregnant again, with six more. She hadn't planned to be a mother of eight before she was twenty-four, but she wouldn't trade her kids for anything.

Things hadn't been perfect all the time, of course. It was hard taking care of eight children on the low income that they were getting, but they always managed to put food on the table. Sometimes the kids had wanted for things, and so had they, but they were only material things. All the necessities were usually taken care of. Lately, since they had gotten jobs, things got easier, because once they started working Peyton and Lucas refused to pay for anything that wasn't a necessity. That had helped on the money front, but, obviously, things had gotten more strained on their marriage, recently.

The thing was, Peyton hadn't really seen it coming. Sure, things had been strained, especially since he started working on getting that book published. She didn't expect it to come to an abrubt halt, though. She hadn't expected the events of the summer. They had tried. She had tried. She knew it was no good, though. The only reason she was drawing out the divorce process was because she didn't want to let go. She was still so in love with Lucas it hurt, but it was obvious he didn't feel the same way anymore. This year, she made a prediction for what would happen in the coming year, like he'd done with Haley every school year. Hers said: Peyton Scott will become Peyton Sawyer. She didn't want to believe it, but she had to.

When she reached her house-her big, empty house-she went straight to her bedroom. She didn't pause to listen to the silence, like she used to on those odd days when she got the house to herself, back when things were good. In those days, she'd live for the times when all the kids were out of the house at once. Now the silence was deafening, because she wanted anything but to be in that big empty house. She just wanted her life to be back to normal. It wasn't, though. Sp whenever she returned from dropping all the kids off, she retreated to her room for the weekend, turned the music up to fill the silence, and just cried.

A/N: Another new idea I got. I've been meaning to do a story with this the Leyton divorce secenerio for a while, and lately I've been watching a lot of Jon and Kate plus 8. I kind of like the idea of eight children, all close to the same age, and all the different personalities they would have. I dunno. Anyway, so I decided to kind of combine the two ideas. What do you think? Should I continue, or is it not very good? If I continue, you should find out what Lucas did within the next couple chapters, if not the next one. Anyway, leave a review, let me here what y'all think.

Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill, or Jon and Kate plus 8, just the ideas they inspire in my head.


	2. A Fresh Start

On Sunday evening, Peyton got up and took a shower, hoping to wash away the evidence that she had been crying all weekend. She hoped her kids didn't realize that was what she did when she was alone, but she couldn't fool herself into thinking they were that naive. She knew that they knew. She was thankful that they never brought it up. She did her make-up naturally and she left her hair down, because she knew Lucas had always loved it that way. She put on a pair of shorts that showed off her legs, which were still quite nice for a woman so close to her forties, and tight white tank top. She slipped her feet into a pair of white flip flops-definately no heels this time-and grabbed her purse, sunglasses and keys before leaving the house.

As she drove in his car, she tried not to look around at all the evidence that he'd been in it. He hadn't cleaned it out, which either meant he felt he was comfortable enough with her to leave it dirty, or he just didn't notice. Or maybe he just didn't care. Given what he'd done, she was going to go with the latter. She was the first one to there, and she couldn't resist looking through the papers that were scattered around. She bent over, opening the glove compartment and digging around. There was the standard, registration, papers for the car, some odds and ends, but nothing good.

Just as she was sitting up, the van pulled up. She adjusted her sunglasses, grabbed her purse, and the keys out of the ignition before getting out of the car. She saw that Madison was sitting in the front seat as she walked towards the van, just as Lucas was getting out. She handed him the keys, making sure to touch his hand. It was a bit of an experiment. She wanted to see if she still felt the spark. She wanted to prove to herself she hated him, like she wanted to, so badly. It failed, miserably. She felt the spark, her temperature rose, and the butterflies activated in her stomach. Her heart sped up and slowed down at the same time, and she really, really wanted to kiss him.

Thankfully, she was wearing her sunglasses, so he couldn't see any of that in her eyes. She didn't know if he could still read her like he used to, but she wouldn't put it past him to be able to. Then again, if he could still read her like he used to, how the hell could he do this to her? Instead of dwelling on it, she quickly pulled her hand away and got in the car, she greeted her children and asked about their weekend as she put the van in reverse, only glancing over at Lucas once, and noticing that he was still standing a few feet away from the car, where she had left him.

Somehow, she felt great because she knew that she still had some effect on him, too. She had wanted to show him what he was missing, and she was fairly sure she had done that. "Mom, Dad was totally checking out your legs as you walked to the van," Marissa announced, not even looking up from her cell phone as she typed out a text. This led to a flurry of comments, from every one of her kids. Some were for it, some were against it, some were against him, but Peyton could barely make out each seperate one. That was pretty normal, though, with six teenagers the exact same age, and two more barely two years older.

Raising her hand, she shouted for quiet. "I don't care if he was checking me out or not. It doesn't matter. He can't destroy this family, and think something as simple as checking me out will get us back together," she said firmly when all conversation had stopped. There were a few, 'Go Mom!'s from a couple of her children, and then there was silence, except for the classic rock station Peyton had put on. "I can't say that I didn't know he was a sucker for my legs though. So, I may have happened to wear shorts just to showcase them. He deserves a good look at what he can't have," she added, earning a few impressed looks from her kids.

Then Peyton turned the conversation to school, and that was where it stayed for the rest of the ride. Peyton didn't want her kids to hate their father. They could hate what he did, sure, but he was their father, and she just didn't want them to hate him. She didn't hate him, no matter how much she tried, and he didn't really deserve to lose her, and their kids. It was his decision to make, and he obviously made it. Sure she wished it hadn't turned out the way it had, but that didn't mean that she wanted her kids to be forever resentful to their father. She knew Lucas loved them, even if he didn't love her anymore.

As she pulled into her driveway, she shook her head to shake away the thoughts, and followed her kids into the house after they piled out of the van. They each went to their rooms to drop off their stuff. Ainsley was the first out of her room, seeking out her mom, who was already on the couch, and joining her, Kerri following soon after, and Seth also joined them, sitting next to their mother. She wrapped her arm around her son. Seth was the youngest, and had always been a bit of a Mommy's boy. Ainsley was laying with her knees pulled into her chest on the couch, and her head on her mom's lap. Kerri was slouching in the arm chair next to the couch.

A horn honked outside, and Madison came rushing down the stairs, followed soon by Marissa. Madison announced that her boyfriend was there to pick her up, and that she was giving Marissa a ride to the Cafe, where Marissa was meeting some friends. Martin and Ryan went into the back yard to play some basketball, and Peyton could hear the music coming from Jessalyn's room. With a sigh, she turned on the TV, but gave soon gave the remote over to Kerri, because she knew that Kerri wouldn't put on something too girly for Seth, or too boyish for Ainsley.

It was nice, knowing that the house wasn't empty anymore. It was still hard to go through a divorce, especially knowing they were signing the papers next week. It would probably take about six months for the papers to go through, and to receive the finalized sets of papers that indicated her marriage was over, but who was she kidding? It already was. She wished there had been some way to stop the destruction of her marriage, but if there had been any signs, she had not seen them. She had no idea. Did that make her naive, or just plain stupid? Was it so wrong to think her wedding vows meant something, and that her marriage would last forever? She didn't think so.

Instead of letting herself get lost in painful thoughts, she decided to just focus on watching the TV with three of her children. She was lucky to get three of them in the same room as her at the same time. It certainly hadn't been that way before everything had gone down. Before she was lucky to have two or three in the house at the same time. Now that they were all teenagers, and involved in something-whether it was drawing or literature, cheerleading or basketball, or persons of the opposite sex-it was harder to get them all gathered for a meal at the same time, let alone just spending time together.

Just as Peyton was about to get up and whip something up for dinner, the front door opened, and her best friend came around the corner and into the living room. "Hey, P. Scott, how's it going? I thought me and my brood would come over here and have dinner with you, and whatever broody blondes happen to be around at the time," Brooke bounded over to her best friend, pulling her into a hug. It was amazing how Brooke, a mother of a fifteen-year-old, and two other young children, not to mention the CEO of a multimillion dollar company, could still be so chipper, all the time.

Unlike Brooke, Owen knocked lightly before he, Sophia, Mariah and Justin entered the house. Since Owen was carrying a bag of groceries, Peyton couldn't exactly say no. So she led Brooke and Owen to the kitchen. Sophia took the seat Peyton had just vacated on the couch, as Ainsley sat up. Sophia immediately took out her cell phone and began texting, before she turned her attention to her best friend. "You'll never guess who texted me this morning, asking if I would go out with him this weekend," she said excitedly, pulling her leg up underneath her as she faced Ainsley on the couch. Mariah and Justin went to the backyard to play outside.

Cocking her eyebrow, Ainsley listened to the story, looking at Sophia's phone as she showed her the texts. Seth met his older sister's eyes and rolled his, while Kerri just let out a laugh. The two young girls were exactly like their respective mothers had been, which is why they were the best of friends, despite the age difference. Ainsley only did cheerleading because of Sophia, and the two of them were on the Varsity squad, despite the fact that they were both underclassmen. Kerri changed the channel to watch a basketball game, because the two girls were otherwise occupied, and Seth moved to the other couch in the room, to get away from the girls' conversation.

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Owen and Brooke started gtaking the groceries out of the bag, and they started cooking dinner. Peyton stayed out of their way, because they had done this many a time before, and she knew how they worked. Brooke and Owen had a system, even in her kitchen, and Peyton would only screw it up by trying to help. They were a finely tuned machine, and it reminded her of all the times she and Lucas would cook together, though she tried to keep him out of her thoughts. She took a seat on the stool at her counter, kind of wishing she could just erase Lucas from her memory. Even the good ones hurt to remember these days, because it reminded her of what he did.

Noticing the pained look on her best friend's face that indicated she was thinking of her estranged husband, Brooke intervened in Peyton's thought process. "I invited Naley and children," Brooke spoke as she chopped some vegetables, then scraped them off of the cutting board to the pan that Owen held out for her. He poured some oil over them and set them on the burner he had just turned on. Peyton focused on Brooke and the fact that she had invited people over to her house. Brooke noticed Peyton's raised eyebrow. "I just thought that we all could use a evening of hanging out together, and, since you have the biggest house," she shrugged as if that explained everything, not even finishing her sentence.

Peyton just knew that there was more to the story, but she didn't bother questioning it. She actually liked the idea of spending the evening with everyone, instead of just sitting around doing nothing. To be honest she probably would have ordered in Chinese, or pizza, instead of cooking, and her kids deserved better than that. She was grateful to Brooke, because her best friend always seemed to know the right time to come over, and Brooke had been there for her, even more than she was before, through every single step of the divorce. Not that she expected otherwise. It was just nice.

A few minutes later, Nathan and Haley arrived, with their children. James was still at Duke. He hadn't come home for the weekend because he had to study for his midterms. He would be home the next weekend, for the sextuplets birthday, though. They were having a barbeque with their family, and then there was going to be a party at Tric after, for their friends. Peyton promised them that none of the adults would go, but she was definately locking up the alcohol, and her office. She was glad that they were okay with doing something together. She had expected at least one of them to complain over the years, but, if they had, she had never heard about it.

The twins, Robert and William, who were also sixteen, went into the backyard to play basketball with Ryan and Martin, and little Brianna followed them outside, because she was still in the stage where she adored her older brothers, and cousins, and they still tolerated her. She looked up to Mariah, too, because she was a few years older than her, and Justin was her age. Haley and Nathan went to the kitchen. Nathan sat down at the barstool next to Peyton at the counter, and Haley stood between his legs, with her back to his chest. "Hey, Tutor-Mom, how was your doctors appointment?" Brooke asked as she took more chicken breast off the Foreman Grill Peyton had.

As Brooke added the chicken she just took off the grill to the growing platter, and put some more on to cook, Haley shrugged, putting a hand on her still flat stomach. She had recently found out that she was pregnant, and today had been the first sonogram. "The first time I hear the heartbeat is still amazing, even after though this is the fourth time," she said with a grin. Nathan removed his hand from where he had placed it above hers and pulled his wallet out of his pocket. He pulled out the sonogram out of his pocket and handed it to Haley, who showed it to everyone. "I'm hoping for another girl. There are just too many boys in my house," she said, tossing a glance over her shoulder to Nathan.

Of course, Nathan knew she was just teasing, so he didn't rise to the bait. He wrapped his arms around her waist, linking his hands above her stomach. To be honest, he was kind of hoping for another girl, too. Brianna was great and everything, but she was a spitting image of her father. He wanted a little girl that looked exactly like his wife. It was what he'd always wanted. "Hey, you're saying that now. Trust me, a bunch of girls is not exactly great," Peyton joked. Sure it was hard sometimes, when they got into catfights, or screaming matches over something stupid, like teenaged girls tend to do, but she really wouldn't trade her kids for anything.

As Brooke moves turns off the grill and moves over to the stove to make some macaroni and cheese, so the meal will be balanced, Owen starts chopping some lettuce for a salad because, although there were already chopped vegetables to go with the chicken, he knew some of the kids wouldn't like them, and they had to have some kind of vegetable. They move fluidly through preparing the rest of the meal, sharing the occassional kiss. Nathan and Haley are looking in adoration at the sonogram picture, having their own conversation, smiling and also sharing kisses.

Watching them, Peyton is immersed in memories of a time when she was one half of a couple, and she has to stand, and get out of their presence. The respective couples share glances, before Haley and Brooke share a look as Peyton walks to the sliding glass door, opening it and stepping out onto the back porch before closing it again without a word. She leans against the pillar, at the top of the porch steps, and watches the children. The four sixteen-year-olds are playing basketball, Martin and Ryan against Robert and William. The three younger ones were sitting on the grass next to the slab of cement that served as their half-court, watching as the guys play the game.

After taking some time to compose herself, Peyton made her presence known to the kids. "Hey, guys, it's time to come in and wash up for dinner," she called, watching as they teenaged boys wiped the sweat from their brows, and headed in the house. Martin and Ryan both tossed their shirts over their shoulders as they brushed by their mom, because they had taken off their shirts when it was still really hot outside, and Robert and William followed after them. Mariah, Justin and Brianna also pushed past the woman they all called Aunt, even though Mariah and Justin weren't blood related. Peyton stayed outside, taking a seat on the porch steps as the glass door slid shut.

As the guys walked through the living room to get to the bathroom, Sophia couldn't keep her eyes off of Ryan. She didn't even notice that she was staring, and Ryan definately didn't notice her, but she was brought out of her reverie when Ainsley looked over her shoulder to see what her best friend was staring at. "Oh, my gosh, Soph, that is my brother," she said, snapping her fingers in front of Sophia's face to get her attention. She knew the look in Sophia's eyes because she had seen it pointed at almost every guy that she had dated, and Ainsley did not like that look pointed at her brother at all.

With wide eyes, Sophia looked over at her best friend. "What? Your brothers have nice abs. You can't blame a girl for noticing," she quickly tried to cover up the fact that she'd been staring at one guy in particular. Ainsley gave her a silent, pointed look that said she didn't believe her for an instant. Sophia quickly glanced around to make sure that the adults were still in the kitchen, and Kerri and Seth were still focused on the basketball game. She leaned closer to Ainsley and decided to confide the secret she'd been harboring for a while. "I think I like your brother," she whispered.

It was Ainsley's turn to look at her best friend with wide eyes. She could not believe what she was hearing. She began to shake her head, but managed to resist the urge to cover her ears and make loud noises so she couldn't hear the words coming from Sophia's mouth. She settled for pretending to gag instead. Sophia leaned back, scrunching her nose. "I'm going out with Eddie, though, so don't even trip. It's a stupid crush, nothing more," she lied. The expression on the blonde's face had told her everything she needed to know, and she wished that those words were the truth, because she know knew she would never be able to explore the feelings she wanted to test.

As Brooke and Owen were putting the finishing touches on dinner, Haley set the table, and Nathan went outside to find Peyton, since she'd never returned from getting the kids. He saw her sitting on the porch steps, and he sat down next to her. "How are you doing, Sawyer?" he asked, worried about her. He had always called her Sawyer, even when she became a Scott. It was just a given. Now that she was going to become a Sawyer again, Peyton found it kind of fitting, in a bittersweet kind of way. She knew that he didn't know things would turn up that way back then, but the name seemed kind of like a sign.

Shaking away the ridiculous thoughts, Peyton just shrugged, trying to focus on the moment, instead of the big picture. The big picture was just too hard these days. "I'm in the process of divorcing the man who promised to love me forever. The man I will probably love for the rest of my life," she paused, sighing. "I'm doing fantastic," she added sarcastically, rolling her eyes. He knew she just used sarcasm as a shield, and she knew that he knew that. "Sorry," she apologized, trying to find the real answer to his question. "I don't know, Nathan. I guess I just kind of thought he meant it when he said forever," she allowed him to pull her into a hug.

For a minute, Nathan was silent, because he honestly didn't know what to say to that. Some days he really disliked his brother for destroying his family. Most days he just really couldn't understand how Lucas could do it. He'd had the perfect life, yet it wasn't enough for him. Lucas was still his brother, though, so he had to stay by him, but he felt loyalty mainly to the blonde he was currently sitting next to. Probably because she was his best friend first. "My brother may be book smart, but he's definately an idiot for letting you get away," he said, finally, trying to make her feel better.

The moment was getting deep. Peyton knew she was going to start crying soon, but she didn't want to do that. "If I remember correctly, you let me go, too," she teased, pulling away from Nathan's embrace and raising her eyebrows at him. She knew, of course, that it was just ridiculous to compare her relationship with Nathan to her relationship with Lucas. They weren't the same, and they never had been. Lucas and Peyton had connected on a emotional level, and a physical level. Nathan and Peyton had really just been about sex, as bad at that sounds, and Nathan was a jackass back then.

On one hand, he was glad she was joking, but on the other hand, he knew she was just hiding her feelings. Since they were going to have to go to dinner any second now, he decided to just let it slide for now. If she wasn't going to talk about it, he couldn't force her to. Well, he could, but he wouldn't. "Yeah, but I've always been an idiot, Sawyer, I thought you knew that," he joked. "I wasn't an idiot when it came to my forever, though, and Lucas was. He'll realize it eventually," he couldn't help but add seriously, standing, holding out a hand to help her up. "Come have dinner with your family," he said.

With a small smile, she grabbed his hand, allowing him to pull her to her feet. "Thanks, Nathan," she said as they entered the house. He met her gaze and smiled at her, but it went unsaid that he would always be there for her. Everone else was sitting at the table by the time they made it inside. Nathan sat down at the head of the table, and Haley was to his right. There was a empty seat next to her for Peyton, and then Brooke, Owen, Justin, Brianna, Mariah and Kerri completed that side of the table. To Nathan's left, was Robert, then William, Seth, Martin, Ryan, Sophia, Ainsley and Jessalyn.

Dinner went smoothly, with many conversations going on all over the table. Most of them were finished eating when Brooke finally got to the real reason why she had planned this whole thing. "P. Sawyer, you know I love you," she started, and Peyton didn't think she was going to like where this was going. "I think you should open a record label," she said, watching Peyton for a reaction. The blonde was stoic as all focus turned to her, because everyone had heard Brooke's proposal. "Which brings me to why Tutor-mom is here. I think she should be your first artist. You would both be doing something you love, and I know you'd both be great at it," she declared.

There was a moment of silence as all eyes were on Peyton, trying to see what she'd say. Many emotions passed over her face, before Haley spoke up. "You should do it, Peyton. I'd love to work on your label, and I honestly think you'd be good at it," she nodded for emphasis as she spoke. Then all of Peyton's kids began saying words of encouragement. Even her nieces and nephews got into it, trying to convince her to do it. "Come on, P. Sawyer, you love music, and you always have. Just because you didn't make it that first year in L.A., doesn't mean you won't make it here and now," Brooke added.

With a sharp intake of breath, she remembered that year working in L.A. It had really killed her spirit. She wanted to start a label, and find music that other people can listen to, and find themselves with, but she doesn't know if she'll be able to do it, and she'd rather keep things the way they are now than try and fail. Then again, life is about risk, right? Lucas took it, when he sent his book into all the publishing houses again, and now he would be a published author come summer time. Who said that Peyton couldn't make it as a label owner? "I'll think about it," she said, and was rewarded with cheers from around the table. "I'm not making any promises. There is a lot to consider," she quickly added.

No one paid attention to that, though. They knew that if she was considering, she would do it. Everyone knew she wanted to, but she was afraid of failure. If she was considering it, that meant her desire to do it, overpowered her fear, and she'd do anything to make it work. Brooke started talking about what they would need to do, and Haley started discussing songs to put on a record. Haley had been writing songs for a long time, but she hadn't recorded anything since high school. She thought it might be fun to get in a studio again, especially with one of her best friends.

A/N: I want to start by saying thanks for the reviews for the last chapter. This idea has kind of been in my mind for a while. You should find out exactly what Lucas did in the next chapter. Maybe. I might put it off for a bit. I like focusing on the Peyton side of the divorce for right now. Tell me what you think, and let me know if you have any questions by pressing that green button. You know you want to!

Disclaimer: I still don't own anything.


	3. The Dance

A/N: I don't normally start off with authors notes, but I decided to do this chapter completely in flashback, and I didn't want to confuse anyone. So, this is about what happened between Lucas and Peyton. Here's the chapter:

When the alarm clock went off, Peyton wanted to hit the snooze, but she knew if she didn't make sure the kids were up, no one would. Lucas was probably already up, running or working out, or whatever he did this early in the morning. As she opened her eyes and sat up, turning off her alarm clock she noticed that she was, in fact, alone in their bed. With a sigh, she got up, grabbed a hair tie so she could pull back her messy curls, and went to the bathroom. After she finished her business, she washed her hands, then splashed some water on her face before leaving the bathroom.

As she walked through the house, she knocked on each door and shouted at each teenager, for the first wake up call. It would only wake up about three of them, if she was lucky, but she was going to go start breakfast before the second wake up call, which would wake up most of the rest. A lot of the times there didn't have to be a third wake up call, but she had had to pour some water on teenagers that just didn't want to wake up, when breakfast was ready. She was hoping that everyone would wake up by the second wake up call, because she really didn't want to start the morning fighting with her children.

Peyton went to the kitchen and began getting out some food so she could start cooking breakfast. She didn't even notice Lucas sitting at the kitchen table, until he spoke up. He looked like he had been up all night. She knew he hadn't been in bed when she went to sleep last night, but lately she had found him asleep in his office a lot, sometimes at his desk, with his laptop in front of him, sometimes on his couch. It looked like he hadn't even done that though. He had come home a bit moody yesterday, which was why she hadn't expected him to come to bed. "We need to talk, Peyton," he said, standing from the table.

The words made Peyton stop what she was doing, but only for a moment. "Not now, Lucas. I have to make breakfast for eight teenagers, and then get them to school. This can wait until later," she said, as she got to work again, trying to hide the dread she felt. What had happened? What went wrong? Her marriage wasn't supposed to be like this, with Lucas sleeping in another bedroom most nights. They rarely slept together anymore, and she missed sex, but she also missed the closeness she used to feel to him. She wasn't sure she wanted to have the conversation he wanted to have though. "I'm already running late," she sighed.

After a moment of staring at her, Lucas just shook his head, and went upstairs. Peyton closed her eyes and leaned against the counter for a moment. Less than a year ago, things had still been perfect. Lucas slept in their room every night, the kids were all happy, she was happy. Then Lucas sent his book to the publishers again, and things went downhill from there. He spent so much time with his editor, Peyton barely got to see him, and most of the time they did get to spend together was spent fighting. She didn't understand how things had gone downhill so fast.

When she heard the shower start up, she opened her eyes, and continued cooking breakfest. When she was about halfway done, she started going into the teenagers rooms, to make sure they were awake. Kerri was already awake, which was normal. Madison was still sleeping, but she sat up in bed as Peyton stood above her, shaking her slightly as she asked her to wake up. Ainsley was also still in bed. She opened her eyes when Peyton shook her, but Peyton knew they were closed again as she closed Ainsley's door behind herself. Marissa was already up and getting ready, which was good, because she took the most time to get ready.

After shutting the door to Marissa's room behind herself, Peyton headed up the stairs, to make sure the boys and Jessalyn were awake. The first room she came to was Ryan's, and he was already dressed and had moved on to his morning workout. She smiled at him before closing the door, and moving further down the hallway. She didn't make it two steps before she noticed Jessalyn and Seth arguing over the bathroom. Rolling her eyes, she told them it was only fair if Jessalyn went first, because she would take longer. Jessalyn smirked at her brother, smiled at her mother, and entered the bathroom. Peyton kissed her son on the forehead and headed into Martin's room.

The middle boy was still sleeping, but Peyton knew just the spot to tickle on his neck to wake him up. "Mom," he moaned without opening his eyes. He tried swatting her away, but she didn't stop, and eventually he had to sit up and glare at her, becuase it was the only thing that would get her to stop. "Glad you're awake," she said innocently, as she left the room, heading back downstairs to finish breakfast. Even though he had been sitting up when she left, Peyton knew he just fell back into bed again. Ainsley and Martin had inherited her sleeping habits, neither of them wanting to wake up early.

By the time she finshed cooking breakfast, everyone except Marissa, Martin and Ainsley were downstairs to eat. Of course, Lucas had already gone to the school, mumbling something about looking over his playbook, and they'd talk that afternoon as he grabbed an apple and a thermos of coffee from the kitchen. "Anyone not in the kitchen in ten minutes not only gets no breakfast, but they have to walk to school," she called up the stairs as the rest of the brood got themselves seated at the table. Martin came down a few moments later, looking rumpled and still half-asleep.

Trying not to laugh at her son, she handed him a cup of coffee and a plate of food before he took a seat at the dining room table. Peyton was just sitting down to eat when Ainsley ambled down the stairs, wearing a pair of jeans, a band tee and black Converse. Her unruly curls were pulled into a messy bun, and she had no make-up on. It was clear that she'd only gotten out of bed when Peyton had yelled just moments ago. Peyton gestured toward the plate of food and cup of coffee she had left out for Ainsley. They all knew that Marissa wouldn't be down until every last second of that ten minutes was up, and she'd probably only grab an apple for breakfast, because Peyton would force her to.

The twins each had their own car, and Peyton drove her own car to work too. They had five cars total. One for each twin, one for Lucas, one for Peyton and the van, which was used when they wanted to save on gas. The twins' cars weren't the nicest on the road, but they were much appreciated. It meant they didn't have to ride with their mom or dad to school anymore, and they didn't have to ride in that hideous van that they all hated. Peyton still had her Comet, but they had had to sell Lucas's Mustang over the years, and he was now driving a beat up Ford truck. He missed that Mustang more than Peyton thought he should, but then again, she hadn't been able to let go of her Comet.

Just as the ten minutes was up, Marissa sauntered down the stairs. Peyton tossed her daughter an apple and they all left the house, grabbing their stuff for school. Martin and Ryan got into the car with Kerri, Jessalyn and Marissa rode with Madison, and Ainsley and Seth got to ride in the Comet. That was the habit they had fallen into in recent months. It just worked. The others drove straight to school, but Peyton made a pit stop at her best friends house first. She was going to pick up Sophia, like she always did, but today she needed to talk to Brooke, too.

As Peyton turned off the car, she looked to her kids. "I will be right back. I need to talk to Brooke. Don't go anywhere," she said, getting out of the car as Sophia came out of the house. "I'll be right back. Your mom's inside, right?" she asked as she passed, barely waiting for Sophia's nod before heading into the house. Her husband was acting weird, and she needed just a little bit of reassurance from her best friend that everything was going to be alright. She really hoped that Brooke could give her that, becuase she wasn't sure what she was going to do if things weren't alright.

Sophia opened the drivers side door, and climbed into the back next to Ainsley. "What's up with your mom?" she asked, cocking her eyebrow curiously. All three of them watched as Peyton headed into the house. Ainsley and Seth could only shrug, because they had been wondering the same thing all morning, and they had yet to come up with an answer. They had noticed that she was nervous this morning, and they wondered if it had to do with the fact that their dad was rarely around anymore. He had been getting more distant, and Peyton had been acting more strange. Something was up with their parents.

Inside, Peyton had just found Brooke, in the kitchen with Mariah and Justin. She was trying to get them to eat their breakfast while Owen distracted them. As soon as she saw her best friend, and noticed the look on her face, she instantly gave up. "Owen, please make sure they eat," she said before pulling Peyton into the living room. Justin and Mariah, of course, didn't notice anything, except the fact that their Aunt Peyton was there and they didn't get to say hi. Peyton waved over her shoulder and offered them a false smile, and Owen managed to keep them in their seats. "What is going on?" Brooke asked when they were in the living room.

Staying on her feet, so she could pace back and forth, Peyton looked at Brooke, biting her lip. "Lucas told me this morning that we need to talk. I'm scared it's something really bad, Brooke. I don't want my family to be destroyed. We were supposed to last forever. I know things have been bad lately, but things always get worse before they get better, right? I just want things to get better. Tell me they're going to get better," she pleaded, both of them knowing that she needed to hear it, even if it was a lie. She wouldn't make it through the day if she didn't hear that.

With a worried look, Brooke walked over to Peyton and pulled her into a hug. "Oh, P. Sawyer, of course everything is going to be fine. You guys are Lucas and Peyton. You're meant to be together. You always have been," she said as she rubbed her best friend's back. "If Lucas has somehow lost sight of that, he's an idiot, and he doesn't deserve you. You're the best of the best, P. Sawyer, and you have your happy ending. This is just a bump in the road. I promise," she reassured her, pulling back so she could look Peyton in the eye. "Now, go take the teenagers to school, while I go find out what hijinks my husband and the young ones have gotten up to in my absence," she smiled, dimples showing.

Of course, Peyton wasn't completely reassured, and she could still see the worry in Brooke's eyes for her, but she faked a smile back, pretending to be reassured, and Brooke pretended to believe her. They didn't have time to stop pretending, because school started in twenty minutes. "I'll see you later, B. Davis," the blonde said as she retreated. Even though they were both married, they still used those old nicknames that Brooke had devised long ago. It was too late to change it now, and really, neither of them would, even though they were both very much in love with their husbands, which Peyton was, in spite of the shambles her marriage was in.

A few hours later, Peyton had her prep period, at the same time Haley had hers, so she went over to Haley's classroom, because she knew that her husband's best friend would be there. She wanted to do some recon, see if she could figure out what Lucas needed to talk about later. Also, she always went to Haley's room for her prep period. The two teachers had specifically requested the same prep period. Lucas was still teaching gym, so Peyton knew he wouldn't show up. "Hey, Hales, how's it going?" she asked as she entered the classroom, shutting the door behind her when she noticed no one else was in there.

The brunette was sitting at her desk, looking over some papers, and she looked up when Peyton came in. She smiled at the blonde, and gestured for her to pull up a chair. Her reading glasses were resting on the bridge of her nose because she had forgotton her contacts, and her hair was shoulder-legnth and dark locks kept falling in her face, but she didn't have a hair tie today. She looked over her glasses at Peyton, instantly noticing that something was wrong. "What's going on, Peyton?" she asked, removing her glasses and leaning forward, giving Peyton her full attention.

Taking a deep breath, Peyton pulled up a chair, and took a seat. She took another minute to compose herself before she decided to just bring up the topic she wanted to talk about. "Do you know what's going on with Lucas? I mean, he's been acting so distant lately, and he's barely home. I know he's busy with editing, but we've been fighting so much, and we barely sleep in the same room anymore. He told me today that we need to talk. Do you know what it's about? Hales, am I wrong to think that my marriage is falling apart at the seams?" she said all of this in a rush, her tendency to babble when she's nervous coming into play.

The effect of Peyton's words on Haley was instantaneous. Her demeanor was still concerned for Peyton, but she was also guarded. She leaned back in her chair and sighed, not sure what she should do. Of course, she and Nathan both knew what was going on with Lucas. Only because he was feeling so bad that he confessed to Haley, who had in turn told Nathan, because she couldn't keep anything from him. They were both incredibly disappointed in him, but they agreed not to tell Peyton, as long as he told her. It was hard keeping her mouth shut, but it was Lucas's duty to tell his wife. "I'm so sorry, Peyton. He has to be the one to tell you, though," she said, reaching across the desk to place her hand on Peytons.

As Haley gave Peyton's hand a squeeze, the blonde realized that Haley already knew what was going on with her husband, which meant Nathan probably did to. She was pretty sure Brooke didn't, because Brooke would have told Peyton for sure, but Haley's loyalty would always lay with Lucas first, and Nathan had to take his wife's side. She didn't resent Haley, though, for knowing, when she didn't. She could tell that Haley was upset with whatever was going on, and she could also tell that it was big. She sunk her head down into her hands, letting out a groan as a few tears slipped down her cheeks. "I understand," she said, so Haley would know that she didn't blame her.

There wasn't anything to say to that, so Haley just silently moved her chair around to Peyton's side of the desk, sitting next to her and rubbing her back gently, trying to comfort the blonde. It wasn't her fault, not at all, but she still felt bad for the pain her best friend was causing Peyton. Peyton was her best friend too, and if it was anyone but Lucas doing this to Peyton, she would have told already, but it was Lucas and Lucas had been by her side for a lot longer, and she just couldn't tell. "It'll be alright, Peyton, I promise. It'll all be okay," she murmured as she rubbed Peyton's back, hoping that she wasn't lying.

When the period ended, it was lunch time and Peyton's tears were gone, but Peyton sitll had her face in her hands. The door opened and Ainsley came in, immediately noticing her mom was upset, even though Peyton sat up, forcing a smile. There wasn't a chance to question it, though, because Haley stood up, moving back around to her chair, and Peyton stood as well, saying she needed to head to her classroom to get her lunch. A couple of seconds later, she was gone. Ainsley looked at her aunt. "I'm worried about her, Aunt Haley," she said, walking over to her. Haley just nodded. She was, too.

Hours later, Peyton was pacing the house as she waited for her husband to get home from his practice. The house was empty, because Peyton had requested that her children find something to do, if they didn't already have something planned. She knew her kids were worried about her, and she vowed that no matter the outcome of the talk, her kids wouldn't worry about her anymore. She wouldn't give them reason to. It was supposed to be the other way around. She wouldn't let them see her pain, or her stress. They had never had cause to worry about her before. She hated seeing worry in their eyes when they looked at her. Especially when their eyes so closely resembled Lucas's.

The door opened and she stopped pacing, picking up the glass of wine she'd poured herself just a few minutes ago. It was halfway empty, and she draimed it before picking up the bottle to refill it as she sat on the couch. "Peyton," Lucas called. She answered, and he appeared in the doorway to the living room. He sighed, taking a seat next to her, but far enough away that they weren't touching. "Peyton, I'm so sorry, but I think I have to say this now, because I should have told you a long time ago. Peyton, I've been having an affair, with my editor," he told her, like he was ripping off a band-aid.

It was probably stupid, and naive of her, but she really had not been expecting that. And she definately did not expect him to go on to tell her that he had gotten the woman pregnant. She just sat there in shock for a moment, wondering why she wasn't crying. Then she was glad she wasn't, as the anger came on. She stood, pointing toward the door. "Get out!" she yelled. He didn't move, just stared up at her with remorseful eyes. She didn't feel sympathy. "Get the fuck out of my house, Lucas. I don't want to see you. I don't want to talk to you. Not for a while. Get out!" she shouted, using the anger to hide the overwhelming hurt.

Finally, he moved, walking toward the door with his head hung low. He had the audacity to turn back at the doorway and ask about the children. "We'll deal with that later. Just get the fuck out of my house," she screamed, and he did. She heard him go upstairs, and gather some stuff, and then the front door clicked shut, indicating he was gone. Peyton threw her glass at the wall, where it shattered, spilling wine everywhere. Then she knocked over all the papers on the coffee table, throwing them everywhere. She spotted the one lamp that Lucas had picked out to furnish their house and she grabbed it, too, throwing it into the wall.

When she was done destroying things, she collapsed onto the couch. She wasn't sure when she started crying, but there were definately tears running down her cheeks. They weren't stopping. For some reason, she started remembering the good times. She remembered giving birth to the twins, and the sextuplets. She remembered first meeting Lucas, and nearly running him over with her car. She had been nothing but a bitch to him the first time they talked, but he kept trying anyway. She could remember their wedding, and the promises of forever he'd made. She wasn't sure why, but she remembered their first dance.

FLASHBACK

Peyton and Lucas made their way onto the dance floor. "And now, for the couple's first dance as Mr and Mrs Lucas Scott," Mouth, the DJ for their wedding, announced. Peyton was wearing a stunning white strapless dress, which flowed out, to cover her growing belly. She was pregnant with the twins. It was a complicated pregnancy, and there was a chance of losing her, or the babies, but Peyton hadn't been able to terminate it, even if it meant she died. Lucas had to support her. He had to admit standing there with her in his arms, with that pregnancy glow, it was worth it.

The twirled around the dance floor, Peyton gazing up adoringly at her new husband. "I love you so much, Peyton Elizabeth Scott. I will never love anyone more in my life, and I will love you until the day I die. I'll never stop, and I hope that if I start doing something to lose you, you'll tell me what an idiot I am," he said, dropping a kiss on her lips, that quickly became heated. He loved that he could call her his wife. He'd been waiting for so long. With her in his arms, he knew they could get through anything. It wouldn't matter what life threw their way. They could make it. They were Lucas and Peyton. True Love Always.

Blushing, Peyton buried her face in the crook of his neck for a moment, taking in his scent, and taking in the moment. She had waited a long time for this, too, and, while she had been hesitant at first, she knew he was her forever, and it would never get better than him, and their family. "I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I'm going to love you forever, Lucas Eugene Scott," she said, giggling as she used his middle name, becuase he had used hers. "You can bet that I won't let you go. If I do, I'll be the idiot," she beamed up at him as they kept dancing.

They both wanted the dance to go on forever. It was a perfect moment, just the two of them. It was like there was no one else. There didn't need to be. Each of them was all the other had ever needed. He was her world, and she was his. Sure, there were other people in that world, but she would die if something happened to him, and vice versa. There world was about to expand, to include their two baby girls, but that didn't mean their love for each other would decrease. "You, an idiot? Never. Not Peyton Scott," he said, just because he liked saying it. She definately didn't reject to hearing it.

END FLASHBACK

The dance ended soon after that, and the moment was over as he forced Peyton to get off her feet, but it was one Peyton would always look back on. In that moment, Peyton had been so sure of herself, and her whole world. Now, what she had been so sure of in that moment was gone. It was painful, and raw, and her heart was now broken. Would she go back, and change things, if she knew then that she would end up like this? Maybe, but she knew she wouldn't want to. Despite the pain, and all the hard times, she was glad she'd gone through them, becuase bad times came with good times.

So, she wouldn't change things, even if she could. If she could go back and stick to her first answer to Lucas's proposal, and save herself the pain she was feeling right now, she wouldn't. If she did, she wouldn't have gotten that dance, and she wouldn't have gotten all those good years with Lucas Scott. Even if her marriage was crumbling, and possibly unfixable-her husband had fathered another woman's child-she wouldn't change anything, because that dance, had been one of the best moments of her life. That thought made her get up, dry her tears, pick up the glass, and papers, and begin cooking dinner for her children.

A/N2: Okay, this ends another chapter. I wanted to give some insight as to what happened. Next chapter will be the sextuplets birthday party. Thanks so much for the reviews, and I hope you all keep reviewing. Let me know if you have any questions, and if I can, I'll answer them in the next chapter. I might not be able to update next week, because I'm going to be in Oakland and I'm camping this week, and I'm just really busy. I'm not sure I'll have access to a computer, but I will try my hardest. Let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.


	4. You Oughta Know

By the day of the sextuplets birthday party, Peyton still hadn't given Brooke and Haley an answer yet. She was pretty sure she had decided to start the label, though. Maybe she would announce it at the party. All week long she had been busy after school hours, taking care of last minute things for the party,making sure it all came together for Saturday. It was finally Saturday morning, and everything was coming together. James had arrived the night before, with his new girlfriend, Rebecca, and dinner with the family-including Lucas, but minus his mistress-had gone surprisingly well.

That didn't make her feel any less nervous about the party, though. She would have to face Lucas today with his mistress, and they would have to interact, seeing as it was a party for their kids. She would try to avoid him as much as possible, though, and talk to him only as much as was necessary. First things first, though. It was time for breakfast, eaten in the living room in their pajamas, like they did on every birthday. She only had to wake up all the kids. Yeah, easier said than done. She started upstairs today, going into each room first, not bothering with a first wake-up-call.

Opening Seth's door, she walked in, to find that he was already up, writing in a notebook. He got that from his father, the need to write things down. He didn't let anyone read it, though, so Peyton had no idea what he was writing. She walked in, gave him a hug and a kiss on the head. "Happy Birthday, my boy," she said, trying to sneak a peek at the notebook he quickly closed when he realized what she was doing. "Alright, alright. I get the point. Be down for breakfast in ten," she said as she kissed his curls again before heading out of the room. "I love you," she called over her shoulder, waiting for him to echo the sentiment before she closed the door.

Her next stop was Martin's room. He, of course, was still sleeping. She walked in and stripped the comforter off the bed, opening the curtains so the light could stream in the window, right in his face. He groaned and turned over. "Come on, it's time to get up. You're sixteen today, but that doesn't mean I can't still pour water on you when you don't get up," she informed him. He didn't move. "Martin Scott, if you don't get up right now, you don't get your birthday presents, or any breakfast," she added sternly. He quickly sat up. She bent down to kiss his forehead. "Be down in ten. If you lie back down, you won't live to see your 17th birthday," she threatened, like every year. She told him she loved him, and he worked up the voice to reply.

Jessalyn's room was the next in line, and she stepped inside, to find her daughter staring at the ceiling. She knew Jessalyn must have just woken up, because she always took a few minutes to just lay there in the morning. Peyton entered the room and sat on the edge of the bed. "Happy Birthday, Jess," she said, receiving a grunt in response. Peyton leaned down, kissing her daughters naturally straight blonde hair, and stood again. "Be down in ten minutes. I love you," she said. She was just about to close the door, figuring Jessalyn wasn't awake enough to give her a response, when her daughter repeated the words.

The next room was Ryan's, and he was already up, and working out, like he did every morning. Peyton sat on on end of his bed, and, since he was already working with the medicine ball, they tossed it back and forth a few times. "Happy Birthday, son. You gonna be finished in ten minutes," she asked, as she tossed the medicine ball back to him a final time. He nodded and she stood, walking over to him, kissing his forehead. "Good, 'cuz if you're not, you miss breakfast, and you don't want to miss the birthday breakfast," she started for the door. "I love you," she said. He called it back to her and she closed his door with a smile.

Heading downstairs, Peyton knocked on Marissa's door, surprised when she got no reply. She opened it cautiously, to find her daughter still in bed. With a sly grin, she entered the room at a run, and jumped on the bed. "Rise and shine, sleeping beauty, it's your birthday," she said as she bounced on the bed. Marissa groaned, but sat up, rubbing her eyes. "I love you baby, but you've got to be downstairs for the big birthday breakfast in ten minutes," she paused, mussing her daugter's natural curls. Marissa just groaned, moving her head out from under her mom's hand. She gave her daughter a kiss, then left the room.

Marissa yelled the words back as Peyton was entering Kerri's room. The green-eyed blonde, who happened to be awake, smiled at her mother, and Peyton placed a kiss on her daughters straight hair before telling her to be down in ten minutes. "I love you," she said, and her eldest daughter said it back as Peyton left the room. She entered the other twins room next, and Madison was also awake and Peyton walked in and kissed her curls. "I love you, Madi," she said as she stroked her daughters hair. Madison's eyes were a mix of her mother's and father's. She repeated the words to her mom and Peyton stood. "Be down for breakfast in ten minutes," she said as she left the room.

The last room Peyton had to enter was Ainsley's room. Her youngest daughter was still asleep, and Peyton sat on the bed, moving her messy curls out of her face. She bent down to kiss her forehead, waiting until her daughter's blue eyes flickered open. She sent her mom a sleepy smile as Peyton leaned down to give her another kiss on her forehead. "Good morning, angel. Happy Birthday. Breakfast is in ten minutes," she informed her daughter, who scooted back and lifted the blanket to allow her mother to climb in the bed. Peyton did, and Ainsley cuddled up against her mother.

All of them knew how hard this birthday was going to be. Not just for Peyton, but for everyone. This was the first birthday without their parents together. Everything was in the air, and nothing would be normal. Peyton would try to make things run as smoothly as possible, but they all knew it was going to be hard. Peyton took a couple minutes to relax. She had been trying to mentally prepare herself for today for the past couple of days, but she knew no amount of mental preparation would help. She hugged her daughter, then slowly extracted herself from the bed. "Be in the kitchen in five minutes," she said before leaving the room.

When Peyton reached the entryway, right next to the front door, that split into the hallway that lead to the kids rooms and the hallway that lead to the kitchen and living room, she stopped in her tracks. Her first reaction was to start screaming, her second was to throw herself into his arms. She couldn't do either. "What are you doing here, Lucas?" she demanded instead, crossing her arms in front of her chest in her standard defensive stance. She glanced behind him to see if the whore was there too, but the front door was closed. Peyton didn't let the relief show on her face.

It was probably mean of Peyton to think of the woman that way. Honestly she didn't even know her, but still. She was the woman who stole her husband away, and Peyton would think of her any way she wanted. The woman had slept with a married man, and they hadn't even practiced safe sex, obviously. As she waited for his answer, she forced her thoughts away from the homewrecker. "I just wanted to have breakfast with my children and their mother on their birthday. Do you mind?" he asked, not in a rude tone, but genuinely asking. His gaze was probing, as if he was trying to get a feel on what she was thinking. Peyton did not like that one bit.

Since she couldn't keep him away from his children, even if she wanted to, which she really didn't, she turned and walked down the hallway without giving him a response. She had tried to avoid him at all costs lately, and she wasn't going to stop now, even if they were obviously having breakfast together. She hadn't expcted to have to deal with him this early, but she wouldn't be the mother who kept her kids away from their father. Her kids deserved both parents, and she would give them that, to the best of her ability. She began to set the table, and was surprised when Lucas started helping her. She stayed quiet, though.

There was complete silence as Lucas took his spot at the head of the table, and Peyton sat at the opposite end. There were four chairs on each side of the table, and it stretched between them, almost ominously. Peyton desperately wanted a glass of wine, but she knew it was too early to start drinking, and she didn't want Lucas to know he was affecting her that much. What she didn't know, was that he also wanted a drink. He just didn't know how to act around her anymore, and he hated himself for it. He knew everything was entirely his fault, and he wished that he knew how to fix it, but he didn't.

When the teenagers finally came downstairs, the ones in front stopped so suddenly that the ones behind them ran into them. There was a traffic jam in the doorway to the kitchen, and Peyton and Lucas waited patiently for their children to get it together. When the ones in the back finally saw what the big deal was, they were also speechless. None of them could understand why their father was there. Sure, they'd never had a birthday breakfast without him, but they really didn't expect him to be there. Some of them didn't even want him to be there.

Noticing the hesitation of most of her children, Peyton gestured to the table before anyone could say anything hurtful, that would start the day off in a bad place. "Sit and eat before your food gets cold," she said in a tone that sounded pleasant, but everyone knew that it held no room for discussion. Ainsley took the seat on Peyton's left, and Marissa sat across from her. Ryan sat down on Lucas's right, and Martin sat down across from him. Seth sat down next to Ainsley, and Kerri sat down in between Ryan and Seth. Jessalyn toon the seat next to Martin and Madison sat down between Jessalyn and Marissa.

The breakfast actually went quite smoothly. There were no outbursts, or arguements, and there was even some laughter. The teenagers thought they'd never see their parents laughing together again, but there it was. It was almost like things were back to normal, except for a few minor things, that weren't really that minor at all. For one, Lucas was the only one not wearing pajamas, but, for some reason, he was wearing his wedding band, which no one had seen on his finger for months. Also, their parents weren't sitting next to each other, like they usually did, and there were no stolen kisses, or touches, though they did share a few meaningful looks.

The biggest, most significant differece, though, was the white tan line on Peyton's ring finger of her left hand, where her wedding band and engagement ring had been for the past eighteen years. She had been reluctant to take them off, because she was afraid to let go, but she had decided that she was moving on. She had to, or she'd never make it through the signing of the papers, which was set to happen in a couple of weeks. So she had taken it off, considering she would be facing her husbands mistress today, and there was the possibility that she would have to interact with her. She didn't want to appear as the woman who was unable to let go.

Actually, she wasn't entirely sure she would be able to let go, but that was Lucas's fault as much as her own. How could he show up at her house like things were normal, and wear his wedding ring? What made him think he could move in with someone else, and then act like things are normal. She hated him for it. She hated herself even more because she allowed it to happen. She didn't know what she could have done to prevent it, but she just wanted to move on, because he'd obviously made his choice. She really wanted to ask him what he was doing, but she didn't want to start a fight. Not on their kids birthday.

So she refrained from saying anything. When Lucas offered to do the dishes so she could get ready, she accepted the offer as everyone else headed to their rooms. Once again, she found herself left alone with Lucas, and she wasn't sure she liked it, but she wasn't sure she disliked it either. Their eyes locked, and blue met green for a long moment. Peyton wanted to say a number of things, about his wedding ring, or his editor, or his other child, but she couldn't promise herself that it wouldn't end in a fight, so she just broke the eye contact, turned heel, and headed upstairs to her bedroom.

Lately, she'd been keeping most of the clothes she wore in the guest room, since she slept in there, but she didn't want Lucas to know she slept in there, so she went upstairs to grab some clothes from the room, and shower in the ensuite bathroom. Then she stood in the bedroom with a towel wrapped around her body as she stared into her closet, trying to figure out what to wear. The family barbeque would likely involve swimming, considering it was at the Naley house. Peyton hadn't wanted to have it at hers, because then she would have to have Lucas's editor at her house, and she didn't feel comfortable with that.

The other Scott house was neutral ground, and there was a pool in the backyard, not to mention the basketball half court to one side, and the volleyball net to the other side. They had a pretty large backyard. The guys would probably end up playing basketball, while the girls played volleyball, and the younger ones would probably swim, which meant that an adult would have to swim with them. Peyton could be that adult. It wouldn't hurt that swimming meant Lucas would see her in the new bikini Brooke had designed for her. It was immature, to show off her body every chance she got, but it was all she had, considering the woman he shacked up with should be gaining pregnancy pounds, if she hadn't already.

So she put on the bikini, which was a green that matched her eyes. The top was halter and tied in the back. The bottoms were boy cut. Over the bathing suit she put on a strapless black summer dress, which flowed to her mid-thigh. She slipped on a pair of black heels and blow dried her hair before pulling her curls up into a messy french twist. She did her make-up kind of simple, only using cover-up, black eye liner and red lip stick. Since he was wearing his wedding band, she slipped her wedding band and engagement ring on a chain she had laying around and clasped it around her neck.

For jewelery she also put on a pair of dangly green earrings that matched her suit, and a couple of rings she rarely wore any more. On her left hand she put on a silver thumb ring and she put a ring on her middle finger that was fashioned out of a horseshoe nail. On her right hand she put a silver band with an emerald stone that she had inherited from her mother on her pointer finger and a silver ring that snaked around her finger on her ring finger. Instead of going downstairs when she finished getting ready, she stayed in her room until the kids were ready, so she wouldn't have to face Lucas alone again.

They all got in their cars and drove to the other Scott household. Peyton noted that Brooke's family was already there. Lucas hadn't arrived yet, because he had to go pick up his editor. Peyton hadn't seen her since Lucas had confessed about the affair, and they hadn't really met before that either. So this was really the first time she would be around the woman. She couldn't say she was looking forward to it. So, while everyone went to the backyard, Peyton went to the basement, where they kept wine for special occassions. She looked through the bottles, trying to decide which would be best. She couldn't spot her favorite.

That was where Haley found her. She approached quietly, and Peyton didn't notice her until she spoke up. "I figured you'd be here, which is why I've already brought up an aged bottle of your favorite merlot," she said. Peyton just nodded and headed back upstairs. Haley followed, and found Peyton in the kitchen, searching the drawers for the bottle opener. She knew where it was, so she located it pretty quickly, twisting it into the cork, and then pulling it out as Haley pulled a glass from the cabinet. "You know, he's my best friend, yes, but I don't approve of everything he does. I really can't believe he's bringing her," Haley said as Peyton poured the wine glass full.

For a couple of moments, there was silence, as Peyton took a gulp of the wine. She didn't get a chance to respond as Brooke found her two best friends. "I can't either, the jackass. I seriously can't believe he's bringing the slut here, to your kids birthday party. I mean, if she thinks that she's gonna get a warm welcome, she's got another thing coming," she said as she entered the kitchen. She grabbed a glass from the cupboard and poured some wine into it. "Sorry, Tutor-Mom, you can't drink anything. Not if you want this little one to come out normal," she said, patting Haley's stomach.

As Brooke took a sip of her wine, Peyton found her voice. "No," she said, and both brunettes looked at her, wondering what she was saying no to. "No, Brooke, you will not be anything other than cordial to her. I will not allow anyone to ruin the sextuplets sweet sixteen. I don't care what she does, or what he does, or what either of them say. They could make out the whole time, or sneak away to a guest bedroom to fuck. Whatever, I don't care. It's their business, and no one will do anything to start a fight today. Do what you want tomorrow, or any day after that, but not today," she said, looking between the two of them to let them know she meant it.

They both got the picture, and the three women walked outside to the back porch. James came up to give his aunt a hug, as did the others. Then the three women settled into the patio furniture on the back porch, while Nathan and Owen manned the grill. They watched all the kids in the backyard while they chatted about things. It was about twenty minutes later when the back door swung open again, and Lucas walked onto the back porch, with his editor clinging to his arm like she was attached. Peyton sent Brooke and Haley a look, focusing mainly on Brooke, before she went on with the prevois conversation, ignoring the new development.

Very subtlely, out of the corner of her eye, Peyton watched as Lucas introduced the woman to James, and his girlfriend, and the other young ones. He talked with Jamie and Rebecca for a while, with his new bracelet firmly attached, and laughing at everything he was saying. Peyton wanted to roll her eyes, but soon enough, Lucas was joining the guys at the grill, and the brunette was coming over to the women. She came right up, acting like this was nothing weird. "Hi, I'm Lindsey," she stood there as if they would welcome her with open arms, as if they should.

Both Brooke and Haley introduced theirselves, and offered her a seat. They started talking to her, trying to make up for the fact that Peyton hadn't said a word. Eventually, Lindsey looked over at her. "You must be Peyton," she said, as if it wasn't obvious. "The kids talk about you all the time, everytime they're over. They love you so much," she smiled as if it wasn't wrong to bring up her boyfriend's other children to his wife, and the mother of those children. Brooke and Haley both stayed quiet, eyes wide, as they waited for Peyton's reaction.

There was complete silence among the women, while Peyton blinked a few times, unable to believe the woman was that dense. "When they're over? You mean when they're over at the house you live in with my husband?" she tried not to raise her voice, but she drew everyone's attention. She wasn't done, though. "You know," she started condescendingly, "they don't tell me anything about you, but I guess that's to be expected, since obviously you're not just a homewrecking bitch, you're a stupid homewrecking bitch," with that, she stood, and stalked into the house.

Peyton went straight to the kitchen, grabbed a new wine glass, because she'd left hers outside, and she wasn't about to go get it. She poured herself a glass, and downed it. She was just pouring her second glass when Lucas entered the kitchen. He didn't look exactly furious, but he did look mad. More than even that, though, he looked concerned for her. "What the hell was that, Peyton? What are you doing?" he asked as she finished her second glass. He grabbed the bottle before she could pour her third. "You're not wearing your rings," he said softly.

Incredulous, Peyton abondoned the wine glass, turning to face him. She poked him in the chest. "And you are," she said accusingly. Before he could form a response, she continued. "What the hell, Lucas? You haven't worn it since before I even kicked you out, and now you wear it, when you bring the slut to our kids birthday party? What the hell is wrong with you? Who do you think you are, to play with my emotions? You can't do this Lucas. Choose one way or the other, but just stop acting like you didn't do anything wrong. You impregnanted your editor. You can't be on and off. You made your decision. Stop acting like you regret it," she pleaded.

Reaching up, he grabbed the hand that was still poking him in the chest. "What if I do?" he asked. She just stared at him, disbelief and confusion mingled on her face. The wine was going straight to her head. "Maybe I do regret it, Peyton. Maybe I wish that none of this happened, and that I could take it all back," he stopped, closed his eyes briefly before opening them again. "It doesn't matter, though. I can't change things, and I'm with Lindsey now. You have to accept that, and you can't act like a bitch every time you see her, because that's just not you, Peyton. You know it's not," he said, trying to convince himself of that as much as her. She believed it more than he did.

Shaking her head, she pulled her hand out of his grip, neither of them really aware that he had held it for so long. She was looking up into his blue eyes, and she found herself wanting to throw herself into his arms and kiss him senseless, until everything else went away. "Does she know?" she asked instead, to keep her feet on the ground. He cocked an eyebrow at her. "Does she know that you promised me forever? That you said you'd love me for the rest of our lives? Does she know that you said you'd hold me until you died? Well, Lucas, you're still here, and I guess those promises don't matter anymore, do they?" she turned from him, closing her eyes briefly.

When she opened her eyes, she turned back to face him, a smile now on her face. It almost looked real. He didn't say anything, because he didn't know what to say. "I just want you to know I'm happy for you," she said, and now the look on his face was disbelief. She nodded, smiling wider. "Yeah, I'm happy for you, if you're happy. That's all I want, Luke. That's all I've ever wanted. I wish the best for both of you, and I'm sure she'll be an excellent mother to your child," she said, sincerity filling her voice. She took his earlier comment to heart. She really was better than the pettyness, and she did mean what she was saying.

Still somewhat surprised, he thanked her and she gave him a hug. "Of course, Lucas. I know things between us aren't like they used to be, but I guess things don't always turn out like we wish they would. You're moving on, and I won't hold you back. I'm moving on, too," she said, nodding. He raised an eyebrow and she elaborated. "Well, last week, Brooke offered to loan me some money to start a label. Haley said she'd be my first artist. I said I'd think about it, but I think I'm going to do it. I thought you should be the first to know, since you always told me I should do something like that," she said.

There was a brief pause, as he thought about it. Then he smiled at her. "That's really great, Peyton. I'm happy for you, and I know you'll be great at it. Hey, you know that there's extra space at Tric. I'll ask my mom, but she'll probably say yes. You can use that as office space," he offered, giving her the smile that she hadn't seen since things were good. It was nice, and she liked it, but she had to remind herself that this changed nothing. They talked about a few more things before they went back out to the party. Everyone looked at them, but they just went their seperate ways, Lucas to the grill and Peyton to the patio furniture.

They shared one look, just one, as she was sitting down. Then she turned her attention to Lindsey, and apologised. The woman graciously accepted the apology, then offered up a smile, and a conversation that had nothing to do with anything too dicey. Peyton announced that she was accepting Brooke's offer, which made both Brooke and Haley extremely happy, and the evening went on. For their birthday, the 'lets got a lot of things, but the biggest gift was from their mom, who had been saving up since the twins sixteenth. She got them a truck, for the guys to drive, and a convertible for the girls. She was thanked profusely before they started arguing about who would drive to Tric.

Depite her dispute with Lindsey, Peyton was pleased with the day. She knew the kids loved their presents, and there was no more arguements. The food was good, and the company was better. She really did love spending time with her extended family. It was a lot better than anything that happened during her childhood. Yeah, Lucas was her estranged husband, and his girlfriend was with him, but she did her best to ignore it. When Lucas and Lindsey left, and Nathan and Owen were cleaning the grill, Peyton suggested the women get in the hot tub, so that's what she, Brooke and Haley did. They spent the evening chatting about the new label, their men, and it was reminiscent of high school.

A/N: This chapter is kind of long, but I wanted to fit everything into it before moving to the next chapter. Thanks for all the reviews for the last one. I don't really have that much to say about this chapter, except please review, and tell me what you think. Is this fic still good, or should I stop? Let me know, please and thank you!

Disclaimer: I own nothing except my ideas.


	5. Back Before the War

Two weeks passed quickly, and Peyton had been frantically working to get the office space at Tric ready so Haley could start recording, and she could start looking for other artists. Things were finally on track, and beginning to run smoothly. The studio was ready, and Peyton had finally chosen a name for her label. She was just finishing the decorating of her office, when she caught sight of the time, and she realized she had to go, or she would be late to sign her own divorce papers.

Honestly, she knew the real reason she had been so busy at Tric the past two weeks. She had been keeping herself busy to keep her mind off of the fact that she had to sign the divorce papers. As she headed to the car, locking the office behind her, she still couldn't understand why she actually had to do this. She wished she didn't have to. If only things were that simple. If only she could just wish for things to go back to normal, and they actually would. It didn't work that way, and she had to face the fact that she would be signing the papers today, and she would be receiving the filed and final papers in the mail in six months and, just like that, an 18 year marriage would be over. She decided she had to move on, and not just by starting a label.

As she was walking through the bar to get to the exit, she noticed something. Instantly changing directions, she headed over to the bartender. Pulling up a barstool in front of him, she sat on it. "I'll have a tall glass of anything, please," she ordered. When he looked up at her from the glass he was cleaning, he smiled, tossing the rag over his shoulder and setting the glass down. "Chase, I haven't seen you in years. What's got you doing Owen's work for him?" she asked, leaning across the bar to give the brunette a hug.

When she pulled back and looked at him, he couldn't help but notice how gorgeous she had become. Sure, she had been beautiful before, and she still was, but now she had a maturity about her, which made her even more beautiful. Yes, he had been dating Brooke while she was dating Lucas, but he had always noticed her. He had just known her heart belonged to someone else. Of course, now he knew that she was divorcing the blond, but that didn't mean they had to be anything more than friends, right? That was all he wanted. "He hired me on, since I just lost my job. I'm back in Tree Hill for good," he informed her.

They chatted and caught up on each others live for a few minutes before Peyton really had to go. "I'm glad you're back, Chase, it's good to see you. I've got to go divorce my husband, but you'll see me around," she smiled and waved before she left Tric. She had driven her Comet to the club after getting off of work, so she got in it to drive to the lawyers office. The teens had various activities to do after school, and since they didn't depend on her for a ride anymore, she hadn't really told them that she was signing the papers today. It was painful enough without the sympathy from her kids. She'd tell them later on, at dinner.

As she reached the lawyers offices, she parked the car on the street, noticing that his familiar Mustang was already there. She locked the car and shut the door behind her, staring at the building for a minute before she began walking towards it. So many angry words had been said in there, while trying to come to an agreement on the terms of the divorce. They had been doing this nearly six months, way longer than most couples do this, but she knew that she had been dragging it out because she was afraid of this very day. If that was her truth, what was Lucas dragging it out for?

With a long sigh, she finally pulled open the door to the building, waving to the building's receptionist before heading for the elevator. She pressed the button, hoping the elevator would take a long time. When the doors finally opened she stepped inside, and the doors slid shut behind her. It was not the longest elevator ride of her life, and she kind of wished that it was. All too soon the doors opened again, and she was faced with her lawyer's personal secretary. There was a sympathetic smile on the woman's face as she waved Peyton into the conference room, where she would end the biggest, and what she had thought was the best part of her life.

Maybe she had been wrong. Maybe she would find something better now that she wasn't tied down to Lucas. He obviously had. Even as she was thinking that, she wondered if she ever would. She also wondered if he really had. Was Lindsey really the best thing for him? Should she had heard him out on that fateful day, and listened to what he had to say instead of just kicking him out. Since that day she had wondered that very thing too many times to count. What if she hadn't let her anger get the best of her? Would she still be with her husband and the man she wanted to spend forever with?

That brought another question to mind, though. If she had, would she have ever been able to forgive him for stepping out on her and getting another woman pregnant? She would have to see him with another child all the time, because she knew he wouldn't do the same thing Dan did to him to any child of his own. Would she be able to take it, though, having a child that belonged to Lucas and not her hanging around the house whenever Lindsey let him see it? Would she be able to interact with Lindsey on a regular basis, knowing that her husband had not been faithful? She wasn't sure, but that wasn't even the end of the questions her mind could cook up.

There was also another issue entirely. All those questions depended on one question alone. Would Lucas have even picked her over Lindsey? If Peyton had given him the choice, would he have chosen the wife he had been with for nearly eighteen years, or the woman who he had cheated on her with, and was having a child with? Peyton was really scared of the answer to that question, and that was why she never asked it. She tried to keep the conversation between her and Lucas limited to fighting over the material things, and she tried to steer clear of the emotional all together.

When she stepped into the room, the lawyers stood up, and she walked over to the chair across from Lucas, avoiding looking at him, because she just didn't want to feel all of the reactions her body got from him. She wished they weren't there, but every single time, they happened, and, despite the circumstances for seeing him, she knew they would still be there. She was still sitting there when the stack of papers landed in front of her. The loud noise forced her to look up, and her eyes were met by Lucas's.

_FLASHBACK_

_Holding his new wife bridal style, he made his way into the house. There was a path of candles leading to the bedroom, and rose petals spread all over the floor. "Babe, set me down, I'm a seven month pregnant fat cow, and you're going to hurt your back," she demanded, not even noticing the candles and rose petals. He did as she requested, and she finally looked around the room._

_With a look of amazement on her face, she turned to look at her husband of less than twelve hours. "Aw, Luke, this is so sweet. I knew there was a reason I married you," she said, reaching up on her tiptoes to place a kiss on his lips. He placed one hand on the small of her back, the other on the back of her neck, and pulled her even closer. She tangled her fingers in his hair, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss even more. The hand on her back trailed down to her thigh, slowly pulling up the dress so he could draw circles on her creamy skin._

_Then, just like that, the whole scene changed. She was kissing him one minute, the next she had pulled away, clutching her stomach and moaning in pain. "Luke. Lucas. I need to get to the hospital. Something's wrong with our baby girls," she managed to answer his question through waves of pain that made her want to pass out. She didn't even realize she had fallen until he gently set her on the ground, running to blow out all the candles._

_When he returned to the living room, cell phone in hand, she had already passed out. After a moment of staring at her, he flipped his phone open, calling an ambulance. He didn't move from her side as he waited, and he was able to breathe at least a little easier when he heard the sirens getting closer. When the ambulance finally arrived, he climbed in back with her, not letting go of her hand. He finally remembered to call everyone on the way to the hospital._

_There was a point during surgery when they almost lost her, but, hours later, Lucas and Peyton finally had two baby girls. Of course, Peyton was still unconscious, from the surgery, but everyone was gathered in the waiting room, except Lucas, who was standing outside the NICU, looking at the two tiny babies in incubators, both with little tufts of blonde hair on their heads. He raised his hand and pressed it to the glass. "I'm always going to be here for the two of you, and your mom will, too, I promise. You guys are my family, forever and always," he spoke to them._

_Once he finished his little speech, a nurse came up to him and told him that his wife was looking for him. He went to the waiting room and shared the bit of information with his family and friends before going into Peyton's room, because only he was allowed, due to the fact that it was after visiting hours. As soon as he saw her, lying in that bed, surrounded by white sheets and machines, he was at her side, carefully kissing her forehead. "How ya doing, Blondie? You cave everyone a scare for a while there?" he said as he lovingly brushed some curls out of her face._

_With a weak smile aimed at her husband, Peyton reached for the water glass so she could get rid of the dryness in her mouth. Lucas helped her swallow some down and then set the cup aside again as she returned her attention to the blonde man. "I'll be fine, Mr. Scott. What about our babies, though? Are they okay? Did they make it?" she asked worriedly. Her heart rate began to increase as she tried to sit up. _

_Placing his hands on her shoulders, Lucas gently eased Peyton back down. "Chill out, Mrs. Scott," he smiled at the use of her new name, and she did, too. "Everything is fine. Our two little girls will have to stay in NICU for a couple of weeks, but everything will be okay. I promise you that, and when have I ever broken a promise to you?" he asked with the Scott smirk in place on his face. _

_Instead of answering, Peyton pulled him down for a kiss, letting his lips linger on hers as she relaxed. "Say it again," she requested when she pulled back, green eyes meeting blue. He knew exactly what she was talking about, and said the three words. "Peyton Elizabeth Scott," she repeated after him, with a huge smile. "I like it," she kissed him again._

_END FLASHBACK_

Both blondes looked down at the papers. All Peyton could see was her name there, in bold, right next to Lucas's. There was so much that she had never gotten to say to him, and she was fairly sure there were things that he had never said, although every angry word he threw at her in this very room had struck her like a knife. She had thrown back just as many words as she had received, if not more. She wished she could take it all back, or at least tell him everything she was thinking. Maybe then they could have an actual conversation about this.

Of course, she couldn't take it back, and it was far too late for any conversation. Her marriage was ending, and there was not one thing she could do about it. So she picked up the pen that her lawyer had set in front of her, trusting that everything was in order, because she couldn't bear to read the words. Just as she was about to press pen to paper, though, another memory washed over her.

_FLASHBACK_

_The month before they found out they were pregnant was pure bliss. So were the others, but something was different about that first month. They both moved into the house he grew up in, because his mother had already started traveling with Andy, and Lucas continued his studies at the community college instead. Everything was really perfect in their world for the time being, and Peyton found that she really liked perfect. She was attending classes at the community college, too, but she was a year behind him, because she hadn't been taking classes the year before._

_Currently, she was working a shift at the Café when her fiancé walked into the building. Karen sent her a smile and a wink from where she was working the cash register, and allowed Peyton to take her sons order when he walked up to the counter. Before she could ask him what she wanted, he leaned over and pulled her into a kiss. Conscious of the customers, not to mention Karen, Peyton pulled back quickly, thinking of an excuse. "Um, Karen, I need to, um, go do something in the back and, um, I need Lucas to help me," she said, not even waiting for Karen to respond as she headed for the back._

_Once in the back, the couple proceeded to make out like the teenagers they still were, at least, until they turned twenty. Then they wouldn't be teenagers anymore, but they'd probably still act like it. Needing air, Peyton pulled back, leaning her forehead against Lucas's as she tried to even out her breathing. Lucas just moved his lips down to her shoulder, finding her spot quickly. "So, what are you doing here?" she asked between giggles and shivers going up and down her spine. "Not that I'm complaining," she was quick to add, catching his lips with hers again._

_Smirking, he the kiss a second time, when he was the one who needed air. Peyton began to kiss his neck, moving to the place just below his ear, that only she had found. "I just wanted to tell you that I love you, and I missed you today," he murmured, his eyes drifting closed as she suckled on that spot. "I love you, Peyton Sawyer, soon-to-be-Scott, and I always will. You're the only thing I live for, and I just wanted you to know that," he added. "You're all I'm living for," he repeated, unnecessarily, for she had heard him the first time._

_There were no words to say. Her lips froze on his neck and than she pulled back, looking into is clear blue eyes that were shining with love, for her. For Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer. She still found that concept hard to get her mind around. She loved Lucas so much, more than she could ever imagine loving anyone, and he loved her back. She smiled up at him, a dazzling smile that lit up her green eyes. "I really am going to love you forever, Lucas Eugene Scott. Especially if you keep thinking of the most perfect things to say," she said, before devouring his lips with hers again._

_END FLASHBACK_

Without real reason or warning, tears started slipping down Peyton's cheeks. She just wanted things to go back to the way they were then. Things were great, and they were happy, and in love. He regularly told her that he loved her and she was the best thing in his life. She missed those days, and she missed the days when the little ones were beginning to walk. The days when she could sit in the living room or lay in bed and hear little feet padding down the hallway. Or when she could hear laughter floating through the house. Back before Lindsey, and Lucas editing his book. Just back before everything.

_FLASHBACK_

_Feeling lips on her shoulder, Peyton's eyes fluttered open. She turned her head and noticed her husband's mischievous grin. "Oh, good, you're awake," he said, flipping her so she was facing him, and letting his lips attack hers before she could respond. Despite the fact that she had had eight kids, and six of them at the same time, he still loved running his hands over her body, especially her legs. His hand trailed down her thigh and hitched it up onto his hip as he pulled her closer, not breaking the contact of their lips. "I love you," he whispered, breathing heavily against her mouth._

_Smiling, Peyton repeated the phrase. She couldn't help it. Despite the early hour, she could never say no to him. It was pretty much impossible. If she had realized anything during the first seven years of her marriage, it was that. The good thing about it, though, was that he could never say no to her either. "I love you, too, Lucas Eugene Scott," she smiled as he grimaced at her use of his middle name. He disliked his middle name greatly, and it bugged him when she used it, but she continued to use it, and he really didn't think he could stop her. _

_Before either of them could say anything else, Peyton shushed Lucas, telling him to listen. The sound of little footsteps could be heard pitter pattering down the hall, accompanied by the sound of giggles, as the kids tried to be sneaky. As the door slipped open, both blondes pretended to be asleep. A few seconds later their six of their blonde children had crawled up into bed with them, and Madison and Kerri were standing on either side of the bed, after they had each helped three little ones up onto it. All six of the now five year olds thought they were being quiet, but they were very loud whisperers._

_Then they began jumping on the bed, trying to wake their parents up. Peyton slowly moved her arm so her hand was resting on Lucas's arm. She pressed three fingers carefully into his skin and then pulled them back before slowly putting them up again, one by one. As the third finger his hit skin, both of their eyes shot open, and they began tickling each little body in their way. They each pulled up one of the twins so they could get into it as well. The laughing grew louder for a while as both parents sat up for better access to their kids._

_Once they all collapsed into a heap on the bed, the laughter began to die down. Eventually, it was silent in the room. Then Marissa sat up. "Come on Mama, Daddy. It's our birfday. Yous have to make brefast so we can alls eat togever," she said with a firm nod, and the other five sat up as well, agreeing with her. They began to climb all over their parents again, getting up in their faces, tugging on their arms, trying to make them get up._

_Cocking an eyebrow at her husband, Peyton put a disbelieving look on her face. "Oh, no, Luke our kids can't be five today, can they?" she shook her head, and Lucas agreed with her, sounding grave. "No way, they're little kids, they can't be five yet. Five is a big kid age," she teased, much to the displeasure of the six five year olds. After a few minutes they 'convinced' her how old they were, and the family of ten went downstairs for breakfast._

_END FLASHBACK_

Suddenly, Peyton was being wrapped up in strong, familiar arms. It had been far too long since she had felt those arms around her. She wanted to just melt into his embrace. This was how things should be, comforting, and loving. She wished they could go back and make things right, but they couldn't, really. In reality, she knew that. She wasn't sure she could ever trust her husband again, and if they didn't have trust, what did they have, besides love? Sometimes love just wasn't enough to make a relationship work.

Really, she knew that it wasn't just Lucas's fault. There were other factors, things she could have done, signs she should have recognizes, and this could possibly have been prevented. It wasn't as simple as the 'could-have-beens' though. It was a lot more complicated than that. There was no set right and wrong, or who's to blame and who's not. She wished it was that simple, though. She wished they could take back everything that had been said and done, and it would just be as simple as she loved him and he loved her and they could be together.

Now it was too late. Their vows had been broken, her trust in him had been shattered, and now she had to live in an empty house every other weekend. She missed the way it was when things were good. When she could come home in the evening and cook dinner for her whole family. She missed the good days, when things were really great between her and Lucas. It was hard to remember those times now, but they had happened. They had been so in love with each other, so high on their relationship. She still didn't understand how they could fall so low.

They had shared the same dreams, at least she thought they had. Her dream had always been him, a life as the wife of Lucas Scott, and the mother to his children. Yes, the record label was nice, and drawing was nice, but Lucas was honestly all she needed to make her happy. She had thought the same had been true for him. She had thought she was enough for him. Then a complication came into their lives in the form of Lindsey and things had never been the same. She got to comfortable, and they fell out of touch without realizing it, and before she knew it, it had all came crashing down around her.

Pulling suddenly out of his grasp, she realized she couldn't hang on anymore. It was time to let go, to him and their relationship. She had to sign the papers. She pushed away, avoiding his gaze, and called the lawyers back in. She picked up the pen and signed on the line, watching as the pen move across the paper to avoid looking into his eyes. She knew they would still shine with concern, and she couldn't handle it. She noticed how closely his signature resembled hers and she wanted to cry all over again over what was lost.

When he was finished signing, the lawyers took the papers, and they all stood, shaking hands around the room, except Peyton avoided touching Lucas. She tried to follow the lawyers out of the room, but he grabbed her arm. She spun, noticing the tenderness in his eyes. She wished it wasn't there. She didn't want to know he still cared, because she still couldn't believe their love had ended like this. "I miss it, Peyt. I miss the days when we were the only thing that mattered, when love was the only thing we lived for. I never dreamed it would come to this," he admitted softly, meeting her gaze head on, while she tried to avoid his eyes.

Struck still on the spot. That what happened to her when she heard him utter those words. She never expected him to say anything like that. They had just signed their divorce papers, for goodness sake. He was shacked up with another woman. What right did he have to want say those words? It made no difference that she had just been thinking things along those lines. She was the woman scorned. He had no right to expect her to fall back in his arms. He had no right to even tell her he wished she would. Sighing, she closed her eyes briefly before opening them again and finally meeting his stare. "It's too late, Lucas," she answered, taking the chain off of her neck and placing her wedding band and engagement ring into his hand before turning and leaving the room.

**A/N: **_I understand if you hate me for this chapter. I kind of hate myself for it, but it had to be done. I promise, they will get back together soon, just a few more chapters. I added lots of happy Leyton memories so that it could balance out the sadness. Anyway, I hope you like it, and leave reviews, please, even if you didn't. Thanks for the reviews for the last chapter._

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own anything._


	6. Walk Away

A month after the signing of the divorce papers, Peyton's label was up and running, and so was her relationship with Chase. They were going on three or four dates a week, and it meant her kids had to make dinner for themselves, but they didn't mind, because their mom seemed happy. Brooke was a little weirded out by the fact that her best friend was dating her ex, but then, Peyton had been married to her ex, so it wasn't too bad. Nathan and Haley were happy that she was moving on, and Peyton did her best to avoid Lucas. She had even begun to allow the kids to drive themselves to their father's house every other weekend. The school year was drawing to a close, and Peyton had decided that she wouldn't be teaching the next year, choosing instead to focus on the label.

Of course, as much as she tried to avoid Lucas physically, she couldn't avoid the fact that most of her thoughts were about him. She missed him, greatly, and even if she had given the ring back, the tan line still hadn't faded from her finger, and the marks would neve r fade from her heart. She would forever remember Lucas Scott, and all the memories they'd shared, and when they received the divorce papers in the mail in about five months, it would be even more real than it already was, and considering they were both seeing other people, it was pretty real already. "Hey, you, where's your mind?" a voice broke Peyton out of her thoughts.

Shaking her head slightly, trying to get Lucas out of it, Peyton focused on Chase, standing in front of her. She smiled. He didn't incite butterflies, or make her heart speed up, but she really was happy to see him. She leaned across the counter and placed a lingering kiss on his lips. She was picking up the morning shift at the Café because Karen's employee had a family crisis, leaving the brunette who she still considered a mother, even if she wasn't really married to her son anymore, shorthanded. Peyton had offered to do the work because it was Saturday, her day off, and because she had always enjoyed spending time at the Café.

The girls, mainly Brooke, had declared it a girls day later, though, so when the afternoon person came in and relieved her of her duties, Peyton would be forced to go shopping with Brooke and Haley. "I know you've got a girls day later," he paused, noticing the look she sent him. "Brooke told Owen, who told me," he was quick to explain, and she nodded understandingly. "Anyway, I was thinking that when you're done with that, we can have dinner together, you and me?" he asked, cocking his eyebrow in a curious and not a bit cocky way.

Smiling widely, Peyton wanted to agree, but then remembered her prior arrangement. "I kind of made my kids promise to be home tonight, so we can all have dinner together, since it's been a while," she confessed and his face fell slightly. Biting on her bottom lip, she tried to figure out the best way to rectify the situation. The smile returned to her face when she realized the perfect solution. "Why don't you join us? They've be en begging to officially meet you for a while now, and I think it would be the perfect idea," she suggested, smiling the smile she knew he couldn't refuse.

The brunette didn't even want to refuse. He agreed, and then placed another kiss on her lips before leaving, due to the fact that some customers came into the Café. Peyton went back to work with a smile on her face, one that was still there a little while later, when Haley and Brooke entered the Café. The person had already come to relieve her and she was sitting in a booth by the door, waiting for them. "Do I really have to go along with this? Can't we have a girls night pigging out on ice cream and bad movies or something?" she whined, not really wanting to go with Brooke Davis to the mall, but wanting to spend some time with her girls regardless.

Both Brunettes shared a smile, but Haley was the one to answer. "Of course you have to do this. We are in desperate need of a girly day," she said with a firm nod. "Besides, Mama's in desperate need of some new clothes," she said, placing her hand on her belly that wasn't even showing yet. The petite brunette was only three months pregnant. Peyton and Brooke both looked at her in disbelief, before the three of them started laughing. "Okay, okay, I haven't gained anything yet. In fact, I might have lost a few pounds so far. The point it, though, I'm going to be gaining soon, and neither of you will want to be around me if I have no clothes to wear," she said with a firm nod.

With that, the three women left the Café, laughing as they piled into Peyton's Comet. That was Peyton's condition. If she was going shopping, they had to take her car. The three best friends chatted throughout the whole drive, and the talking didn't stop when they reached the mall, and Brooke began dragging them into every possible store. Haley kept up with her for a while, but a few hours into the trip, she started complaining about needing some food for the baby. Peyton started complaining, though only half seriously, five minutes into the trip. Eventually they convinced Brooke to stop in the food court.

While they were on the way there, Peyton noticed a couple, standing outside a store a few stores away from where they were. The girl was hanging on the guys arm, reaching up and kissing him in between parts of their conversation. Peyton didn't even need to do a double take to recognize that it was Lucas and Lindsey. Stopping short, Peyton could remember days she spent doing the very same thing with Lucas. She could see Lindsey's baby bump, and the sight brought back a memory of her and Lucas.

FLASHBACK

The familiar shiver went down her spine as Lucas leaned down, placing a kiss on her neck. Her eyes fluttered closed as her husbands arms wrapped around her, joining on her enlarged stomach. She was only four months, but she was definitely gaining weight already, and a lot of it. That was to be expected, though, since she was having six kids. When the doctors first told her, she was shocked, but then, that had always been a possibility going through the fertility treatments. It was unexpected, but she and Lucas were completely overjoyed. They were currently shopping, for some maternity clothes for her, but Lucas was more distracting her than helping her.

As he stood behind her, his lips working magic on her neck until her found her spot, she stood there, eyes closed, enjoying every minute of it. She loved when he showered her with attention, especially when she was pregnant, because it let her know that he was still attracted to her, even though she looked like a whale. Of course, every time she said that, he told her she was the most beautiful pregnant woman he's ever seen. "Lucas," she murmured, but he didn't stop. "Luke, you have to stop now. We're in public," she scolded, not really wanting him to, but forcing herself to pull away from his lips anyway.

Smirking at her, he stepped up so he was next to her again, and took her hand as they stood in front of the store window, "You know you love it, my beautiful, amazing wife," he said, bringing her hand up to his lips for a soft, gentle kiss. She giggled and blushed, but opened her mouth to dispute his claim. He brought his free hand up to place a finger on her lips. "Don't even lie and say you're not beautiful. Have you looking in a mirror lately," he said, his smirk turning into a charming smile as he openly checked her out.

Blushing even more, Peyton reached up and quickly kissed him, grinning when he placed his hands on her waist and pulled her closer. Reluctantly, she pulled away, giggling. "As much as I love this side of you, we really have to shop for some clothes. I can't wear your clothes forever," she said, because she was wearing a pair of his sw eat pants, a tee-shirt of his and his Keith Scott Body Shop sweatshirt. She turned back to the window, trying to decide if she really wanted to go in the shop. He played nice, just standing next to her with his arm around her waist, but she couldn't help it. A few seconds later she was pulling him down to kiss him again.

END FLASHBACK

For some reason, Peyton feels the need to walk up to Lucas. She sends Brooke and Haley a look, and they both retreat into the nearest store. Then she starts walking toward the blonde and his girlfriend. Lucas spots her and murmurs something to Lindsey before he begins to head towards Peyton, leaving the brunette behind. The walk towards Lucas was a lot longer than Peyton expected, or maybe it just felt that way. It was really the first time she'd seen him since the signing of the papers, and she didn't hate him like she had expected to.

Memories of the past washed over her, and she couldn't help but wonder about how Lindsey treated him. She remembered the days he used to come home from practice and collapse on the couch because he was exhausted, and she would rub his feet, just to be nice. She remembered the times Lucas had stayed up late, playing PS2 with the boys even though it was past their bed time. She remembered how Lucas liked her to massage his scalp after he got his hair cut. There were little things like that she remembered doing for him, and she couldn't help but wonder if Lindsey did those things for him. Sure, the couple looked perfect together, at least in Peyton's scorned mind, but did Lindsey know him like Peyton did?

Then there was Chase. Chase was a great guy, and he was great to her, really he was, but the little things, he just didn't know yet. Sure, they'd only been together a month, but she could remember all the things Lucas used to do for her. When they wer e at their high points, he would always call her in the middle of the day, even when they were in the same school, just to say hi, and that he loved her. Sometimes he would buy a bouquet and when he would get home with it he would knock on the door, so he could present it to her when she opened it. She also remembered all the times he kissed her on the forehead, just before sex, because he knew she loved it. They were little things, but they were things Chase didn't even know she liked.

When they reached each other, Peyton smiled softly. She raised her hand in greeting, but she wasn't really sure what to say. Lucas met her gaze, and she found herself unable to look away. She missed him so much, but at the same time, she kind of wished Chase was there, so Lucas could see that she'd moved on. She missed Chase, but not in the same way she missed the blonde. She wished that it could be the same way, but it never would be. "I have to admit, I'm impressed. You guys look pretty great together," she said, like it wasn't killing her inside. Something told her that he knew how she was feeling.

Trying to pretend he wasn't concerned for her, he smiled, but neither of them looked back at the brunette he had just walked away from. "Thanks," he said. He desperately wanted to ask about Chase, but he wouldn't allow himself to. As much as he wanted to ask, he also didn't want to know. He wasn't sure he could handle the information. All Haley had told him was that Peyton and Chase were going out. She hadn't told him if they were serious, of if the guy was treating her right, or if Peyton was falling in love with him. He couldn't ask any of that without sounding like he wished it was her he was kissing every time he kissed Lindsey, even if that was the truth. 'Not as great as we were,' was what he really wanted to say to her comment, above all else.

With a smile in return to his thanks, she shrugged, as if it was no big deal. As if she hadn't really wanted to add, 'but not as good as we looked together.' Nope, she couldn't add that, not without proving to hi m and herself that every time she hugged Chase, she wished it was Lucas who had his arms wrapped around her. She knew no one would compare to Lucas, and it was unfair of her to think that Chase would. It was unfair to herself, and to Chase. Hell, it was unfair to Lucas. She also knew that Lindsey would never love Lucas like she did, even if they were together for the rest of their lives, and had many more kids.

In a way, Lucas knew that too. He knew that Lindsey would never love him like Peyton, and he knew that Lindsey just didn't compare to the blonde in front of him. She never would. Peyton Sawyer was one of a kind, and there would never be another, and he wouldn't want there to be. Lindsey probably knew that, too, but she never said a word, because she felt like she could love Lucas better than the blonde woman, even if she was wrong. Lucas also knew that Chase would never love Peyton like he could. He had meant it when he had said that he would love Peyton until he died, even if he had lost sight of that for a while. He had just forgotten, and now that it was gone, he was reminded forcefully of it.

They both truly wondered how they got there, in the mall, while he was with another woman, and she was dating another man. To be honest, both of them knew that they would never forget everything they'd been through, and neither of them wanted to. They'd forever hold onto all the memories, in the hopes of keeping their love alive in their hearts, at least. Even if they were both forced to move on, because of Lucas's stupidity, they would always love one another. They had shared dreams and fantasies. And now they had lost a love that they had both believed was meant to be, and they both desperately wanted it back.

Both of them were too scared to say anything, though, even though both of their thoughts were along the same lines. So they stood in silence for a long moment, before they waved at each other. Peyton turned and walked back to her friends, who had subtly left the store moments after entering it, and watched the whole scene, and Lucas walked back to his pregnant girlfriend, wishing that he didn't have to walk away from the true love of his life. Peyton was wishing the20same thing, even if neither of them would ever admit it, not even to themselves.

When she made it back to the two brunettes, Peyton had to force herself not to look back, but found herself glancing back anyway. Lucas and Lindsey were walking the other direction, Lucas's eyes focused straight ahead as he listened to Lindsey talk about something. Just as soon as Peyton reached her friends, and turned her attention to them, Lucas looked at her. He saw Peyton link arms with a brunette on either side of her and begin walking back the way they'd been coming from. As Lindsey kept talking, he tried to follow the conversation, but his mind was firmly on the blonde walking away from him. Peyton was having the same problem as Brooke and Haley told her they'd decided to go out to eat instead of eating in the food court.

~*~*~

Upon hearing a knock on the door, Peyton called for someone to get that. There were eight other people in the house and she shouldn't have to answer the door when she was previously occupied with cooking dinner. They had eaten take-out way too much in the past month, starting with the day Peyton had come home with Chinese food, and told her kids that she was one step closer to being divorced. It had increased from there, as Peyton had put more and more time into the label, and her relationship with Chase. Once upon a time, she had only rarely let her family eat anything but a home cooked meal, but there wasn't enough time in the day anymore to live as a single mother, teacher, girlfriend and label owner and still have time to cook dinner every night.

The front door opened, and Peyton could hear it from the kitchen, but she couldn't hear what was said. She did hear when her daughter yelled through the house, though. "Mom, your boyfriend's here," Marissa, the ever-so-subtle one, shouted from the front doorway as she let Chase into the house. She directed him to the kitchen and then returned her attention to her cell phone as she went ba ck to the living room. Chase entered the kitchen a few moments later, bearing flowers and smiling as he saw Peyton at the stove, apron wrapped around her waist, stirring something in a pot and trying to put something in the oven at the same time.

Letting go of the spoon, and shutting the oven after she got the pan into it, she smiled as she noticed the flowers. "Oh, Chase, they're beautiful," she said, referring to the flowers. They were her favorites, and she turned the burner down a little and wiped her hands on her apron before reaching underneath the sink for a vase. She rinsed it out and then put some tap water in it before putting the flowers in it and walking them over to the dining room table, where she placed them in the middle after moving her center piece over. She moved through the kitchen fluidly, and Chase had to wrap an arm around her waist, holding her still so he could kiss her.

Instantly, she wrapped her arms around her neck kissing back when he tried to pull away. "Mmm, thanks for that, too," she said with a grin when she finally let go. She had to quickly move to get the pot off the stove, before it burned, and she stirred it a little bit more to make sure it didn't stick to the bottom. Then she moved over to the counter, where the makings for a salad sat. She chopped the vegetables and put them in the bowl to mix them as she waited for the pan in the oven to be finished. He sat on the stool on the other side of the counter, watching her as she worked. "It's someone's turn to set the table, and y'all better know whose turn it is," she called to her children, letting them know it was time to set the table, and dinner would be in a few minutes.

Both Ainsley and Seth entered the kitchen and got the plates and silverware and glasses needed to set the table. Peyton slid the bowl of salad to the edge of the counter so one of the kids would grab it and set it on the table. The dressings soon followed it, ranch dressing, 1000 island dressing and Italian dressing. She put the spaghetti noodles that she had pulled off the stove into a large bowl, and poured the meatballs and sauce, which had been simmering on the stove, over the noodles. Then she moved that bowl to the edge of the counter, so the kids could take that too. Moving to the oven next, she grabbed a couple of pot holders and removed the pan of garlic bread from the oven, moving the bread to a platter she had pulled from the cupboard and then putting the pan in the sink before turning off the oven.

Dinner went smoothly. There were minimal sarcastic comments, and, considering they were her kids, that was good. Most of them seemed to take to Chase, and they all seemed to like him, as a person. There were just some of her kids that still wanted her to get back together with their dad, and that made it impossible for things to be perfect, but they went better than she had thought they were going to go. "So, Peyton, where's your mind been all night?" Chase asked later, when Peyton was walking him to the door. He had noticed that her mind wasn't completely in the conversation all through dinner, and sometimes he had caught her staring at nothing, her thoughts obviously far, far away from the dinner table.

Truthfully, she had been thinking of Lucas, and that scene at the mall all through dinner. She had been thinking about it all day, in fact. She couldn't tell Chase that, though, or maybe she just wouldn't. Sighing, she led him outside and pulled the front door shut behind her. "I've been thinking about the label," she lied, forcing a smile that Lucas would definitely recognized as fake, but Chase, if he did notice, didn't say anything. "It was fun tonight, really. Thanks for coming," she said, leaning over to give him a chaste kiss on the lips. She didn't have to stand on her tip toes to kiss him, like she had to do with Lucas.

Inwardly cursing herself, Peyton realized she had to stop thinking about Lucas. She didn't think about Chase nearly this much. Maybe that was a problem. She would have to consider that, later, because she just didn't want a confrontation. She waited until he had thanked her for the dinner before she spoke again. "I'll see you later, Chase," she said, before she slipped back into the house. She walked into the kitchen, only to find that someone had cleaned it all up. Smiling to herself, she went to the living room, with a glass of wine, and just watched some TV for a little while before going to bed.

A/N: I forgot to mention this last chapter and I'm sorry. Someone asked me why I didn't use the name Summer, when I used other names from the O.C. Well, just because she didn't name one of her kids Summer, doesn't mean there won't be a Summer in my story. I might throw one in here just for you. It was nothing against the character, her name just didn't happen to come to my mind when I was naming them. I didn't mean any offense. Anyway, y'all might wonder why I'm posting on a Saturday instead of tomorrow, but that is simply because I don't know if I'll have computer access tomorrow. So, y'all get my updates a day sooner! Aren't y'all happy? You should show me how happy you are by leaving lots of reviews(hint hint). Thanks for the reviews for last chapter. I do appreciate them, a lot.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything at all.


	7. You Were Mine

In the middle of the night, Peyton woke up with a start. There were tears pouring down her cheeks, and she was fairly sure she had just been shouting Lucas's name. She only wished that the kids hadn't heard. She knew it happened occassionally, moreso right after the divorce, but it had been a long time since she'd woken up screaming out the blond's name. More often, she woke up crying, but she had thought the screaming had stopped. Tonight she had been dreaming about Lucas and Lindsey at the mall, and she was really wishing that it was her. She wanted to be the one pregnant with his child, and she wanted to be the one he wanted. She'd been trying to convince herself that wasn't true, but she knew she was just lying to herself.

As she tried to contol the tears, her door slipped open, and her daughter entered the room. Ainsley walked over and crawled into bed with her mother, trying to comfort her as she rested her head on her chest. Peyton didn't say anything, just wrapped her arms around her daughter, and tried to stop the tears. A few moments later, the door opened again, and Seth entered the room, crawling into the bed on Peyton's other side. Marissa and Madison soon appeared in the doorway. Since she was in a guest room, instead of her room, they were on a queen bed, and barely fitting as it was. Somehow, the two other teenagers found their way onto the bed though, sitting at the foot of it.

It was a few minutes before anyone broke the silence. "You're still not over Dad, are you?" Ainsley's voice broke the silence. There was a muffled sound that was unmistakable the sound of someone kicking her, but Peyton didn't scold either child. She didn't say anything, in fact, because the answer was quite obvious. Even with the divorce papers signed, and being processed, she still wanted her husband more than anything and, nothing against her kids, but she wished it was him next to her. She knew what that meant for her and Chase.

Instead of replying to the question, Peyton sat up, realizing that she wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. Almost immediately, all four of them asked where she was going. She looked back at them when she was in the doorway. "Who's up for a midnight game of dominos?" she asked, with a quirked eyebrow. It had been a while since they had played dominos. Actually, it had been years. They used to play it a lot when things were good, because they all loved the game and it was something they could do together. Sometimes they would play in the middle of the night, mostly during thunderstorms, when someone couldn't sleep. Whoever couldn't sleep would come into their parents room, and, to keep their mind of the storm, Peyton and Lucas would suggest dominos. It eventually morphed into a family thing, to play dominos at night during thunder storms.

The teens looked hesitant, and shared a look as if they were questioning their mother's sanity. Honestly, they weren't the only ones. Peyton knew she had just been crying pretty much hysterically, and then she wanted to get up and play dominos? She would question her sanity, too, except, she knew the only way to forget about it was to do something else. So she would put it from her mind and play some dominos with her kids. "Come on, it's a Saturday night, and there's thunder," she prodded. The teens shared another look, then got up and followed their mother to the living room. Peyton grabbed some blankets from the linen closet so they could make a bed on the floor like they used to.

Pretty soon, all of the kids had joined them. They had a set of double-twelve dominos, so it was enough for all of them to play. They all got into it and, instead of playing the game to 250, like they usually did, they played until 1000, because they kept extending the goal, because they didn't want the game to end. It had been too long since they'd had such a carefree time as a family, even if they were missing one member of their family. The sextuplet's birthday party had been tense, but now they were just having fun. The early morning sun was peeking through the window when Peyton finally declared the game over. Marissa ended up being the winner, though Peyton, Ryan and Jessalyn were right behind her.

Everyone was yawning, but none of them really wanted to go back to bed, so Peyton sugested that she make breakfast, despite the fact that it was like five in the morning. It was declared a good idea, and she went to the kitchen, followed by Seth, Kerri, Jessalyn and Ryan, who decided to help her. The others stayed in the living room, moving on to video games while the food was cooked. Peyton moved around the kitchen, trying not to focus on the fact that she wished she was cooking with her husband. Unfortunately, she wouldn't even have a husband soon enough. Unofficially, she already didn't. Officially, she had to wait until she received the papers in the mail. She wasn't looking forward to that.

A few hours later, they were all lounging around the living room, still trying to digest all the food Peyton had made for breakfast. She used to not really be able to cook, but since becoming a mom, Peyton had learned how to make her way around the kitchen. Kerri had the remote and was lazily flipping through the channels while Peyton laid on the couch, her knees brought up so that Ainsley could curl up at her feet. Madison was sitting at the other end of the couch, and Peyton had her head in her daughters lap. Marissa was curled up on the chair next to the couch, with her ever-present cell phone. Jessalyn and Kerri were both lounging on the other couch, while the guys stretched out on the floor.

Just as Kerri settled on a movie they all liked to watch, there was a knock on the door. Peyton sat up, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, because she'd been on the cusp of falling back to sleep, and stood, stretching her arms over her head as she made her way to the front door. She was wearing a pair of sleep shorts and an old tee-shirt of Lucas's which she hadn't given him back, though she probably should have. She had a whole box of his stuff that he had left when he had officially moved out, actually. A bunch of little things, which, for her sanity, she should really consider giving back to him. She knew it did her no good to hold onto his stuff, and it would probably be a clensing experience for her to give it back. She just couldn't bring herself to do it. She thought maybe, just maybe, one day he'd come back to her, and at least then she'd still have some of his stuff.

Of course, that was irrational, but she couldn't help it. She missed her husband. The little things that he would do and say, and the big things too. It was hard living every day without him, knowing she'd have to live this way for the rest of her life. She wasn't entirely sure she'd ever be able to fogive him, but she knew she might give it a try, if he expressed to her that he wanted one. She loved Lucas with all of her heart, and he'd always have a piece of it, even if he didn't want it anymore. There would always be a connection, because of their kids, but she knew she'd love him forever anyway. She had known it at eighteen, and she still knew it. She just wished he did too.

Shoving the thoughts away, well, to the back of her mind, because thoughts of Lucas never really went away, she opened the front door. Chase was standing there, with a big grin on his face. He held out tickets to her favorite band, and she grinned too, but her mind flashed with thoughts of Lucas, and all the concerts she went to with him. Immediately, she remembered the Cure concert that they never got to go to, and she internally winced, as she remembered the guy standing in front of her. Everything led to thoughts of Lucas, and she knew she could string Chase on no longer. "Listen, Chase, these are great, but we have to talk," she said, stepping outside and closing the door behind herself before walking over to the porch swing and sitting down.

Hesitantly, she could tell, Chase followed, the grin sliding off his face. He seemed to be bracing himself as he sat next to her. He didn't speak, waiting for her to speak what was on her mind. "Listen, Chase, you're a great guy, and you're good to me, too good to me, really. I don't deserve it," she held up a hand, to stop his protests. "One day you're going to find a great woman, one who does deserve all the love you can give, someone who can love you back with her whole heart, but it's not me. I'm really sorry," she said, and she truely was, "but my heart will always lie with someone else. I wish I could change that, but I can't," she said, as a tear slipped from her eye. She hated that she had to hurt Chase, but she wouldn't lead him on anymore.

The brunet next to her seemed to understand exactly what she was saying. He didn't really like it, but he knew it was the truth. He had been hoping that he could help Peyton get over Lucas, but obviously, that was not the case. He handed over the tickets anyway. "No, I get it Peyton, I do. You keep the tickets, because I don't really like the band anyway. It was good while it lasted. I only hope that you can get over him before the next person comes along and thinks he can help you, only to get his heart broken. You're an amazing person, Peyton Sawyer, and anyone who can't see that is a fool," he told her, ignoring her protests as he leaned over, kissed her cheek, and dropped the tickets into her lap before getting up and walking away.

Only the one tear slipped down Peyton's cheek, and that was how she knew for sure that she'd never be able to love Chase the same way she loved Lucas. If the tears weren't there, the love wasn't either. Not in the way she wanted it to be. She had meant what she said about him finding a great woman one day. She only hoped that woman was more deserving of his love than she was. She sat outside for a few more minutes, until long after she lost sight of his car, and then stood, headed back inside to her kids, trying to make sure there were no outward signs that she had just broken up with Chase.

Of course, since they were half Lucas too, they immediately knew something was wrong with Peyton. Every one of them sat up straighter and paid attention when Jessalyn asked what was wrong, and Kerri even turned off the TV. Peyton took her seat on the couch, rolling her eyes slightly, even though she yelled at her kids for that all the time. It was something they got from her. "You guys are too much like your father sometimes," she muttered under her breath, referring to the fact that, prior to everything going downhill, Lucas had always known when something was wrong with Peyton. "Chase and I broke up," she added at normal volume, when she realized that they wouldn't give up.

All of them looked at her, as if they had expected it. Ansley and Madison both leaned into their mom. There were a few murmured sympathies, and then they all focused on the TV again, as if, not only had they expected it, they had wanted it to happen. She realized they probably just wanted their mom to get back together with their dad. She just wasn't sure that would ever happen. She wasn't even sure it should. Sure, there were eight very good reasons for it to happen, but she didn't have the heart to tell them that he had picked someone else. They weren't enough, or, Peyton wasn't enough. Either way, he just wasn't going to come back.

Still trying to get her mind of Lucas, Peyton turned her attention to the TV. All nine of them watched TV for a long time, before Marissa got up to take a shower. Madison claimed she had a date with her boyfriend, and she followed Marissa out of the room. Both Martin and Ryan said they were going to go to the Rivercourt, and they headed upstairs. Kerri took Madisons recently occupied spot on the couch as Jessalyn went to her room. Seth went upstairs to retreive his notebook before he returned and took up in the chair, writing whatever it was he wrote.

A little while later, all her kids were out of the house, doing their own thing. Sophia came over, and dragged Ainsley to the mall claiming that they hadn't been to the mall in a long time, when, in reality, they had gone just a couple days before. Sophia was exactly like Brooke as a teenager. Well, except for the obsession with sex. Sophia dated, quite more than her father would like, but she didn't sleep with guys the way Brooke had in high school, much to the pleasure of both her parents. The guys had walked to the Rivercourt, so Seth used the truck to drive to his best friend's house, and then maybe to the music store. Jessalyn had taken the girls car, since Ainsley and Sophia had gotten a ride from her mom, and Marissa had been picked up by her friends, and Kerri had also left the house.

Wandering around the house, Peyton didn't know what she wanted to do. Well, she wanted to crawl into bed, and stay there until her husband came back to her, but that wasn't something that was likely to happen. So she settled for watching a movie, except as she was walking back to the living room, she noticed the little corner she'd dedicated to pictures from her wedding day. Every other picture of Lucas in the house she'd destroyed, or gotten rid of. If the teens had wanted any of them, they had better have stolen them before, because she had gone after them on one of her angry days, and not a single one of them had survived. Except the wedding pictures.

In the beginning, she tried to tell herself that it was because she wanted to remember the day, but she knew it was because she couldn't let go. She didn't understand it, really. He looked so happy in the pittures, and she knew she was happy. How could that have changed so drastically? The pictures were old, now, of course, they'd been on display for eighteen years, but she couldn't believe that her marriage hadn't long outlasted the pictures. She had thought she and Lucas would get past the statistics. Sure, most parents of sets of multiples get divorced, but she had thought they would beat that.

Now it was obvious that they hadn't, so there was really no point in keeping the pictures up any longer, right? She could give not one or two, but eight reasons that proved they should be together. Their kids, she had always thought, were proof that they were destined to be together. They had always wanted a buig family, and when they thought they would be stuck with only three, and they ended up with eight, she had thought that was perfect, and meant they would last forever. She had never expected that they wouldn't even last two decades.

With that last thought, she decided it was time to put away the wedding photos. She went up to the attic and took a box that was almost empty, moving the stuff somewhere else, and went back downstairs, and finally packed away the photos from her wedding with Lucas. She was going to make a conscious effort to get over him, and that was going to be helped by the fact that he was leaving for his book tour as soon as the school year ended. He had destroyed her belief in happy ever after, but she decided she was going to find it again. She was going to prove Ainsley-and the rest of her kids, not to mention herself, really-wrong. She planned on getting over Lucas Scott.

A/N: Yeah, this chapter is kind of short, and I'm sorry. I just couldn't think of anything else to do. I am going to have to put this fic on hiatus for a while, because though I know where I'm going with this, I'm not going to have the ample time to write that I thought I would when I started this fic. I will gladly continue writing when I have more time, as long as I have people who still want to read this. I'm sorry for those of you I'm disappointing, and thank you to those who have reviewed this fic, and put it on alert and favorites. I only hope you still want to read it when I am ready to continue.

Disclaimer: I own nothing in relation to One Tree Hill.


	8. I'm Moving On

The day after Peyton decided she was moving on from Lucas, she runs into a new guy in town. She doesn't catch his name, but he kind of catches her eye, and she knows he watches her as she hurries down the street so she can get to Tric before her artist ups and leaves. It was such a bad day for her car to break down, because she had a new artist who was going to record something for her, but she was closer to Tric than home, so she had abondoned her precious Comet and walked the rest of the way to her office. It was when she was about a block away when she bumped into the guy, and from the short amount of time she talked to him, she could tell he was probably a jackass, but he was so NOT Lucas that he caught her attention.

The stranger came into Tric every day after that, claiming that he liked the atmosphere, and she always ran into him when she was leaving her office. Their interactions never lasted long and usually only consisted of him making a cocky comment and her snarking back before walking away, but it was easier talking to this guy than meeting Chase's eye across the bar. She ended up signing the artist-whose name was Mia-a week later, and on the day that she signed her, he was there and, for the first time, she allowed him to buy her a drink. It was crazy and spontaneous, because she still didn't even know the guy's name, but she figured why not? She allowed him to buy her a couple more drinks, and then she even went to dinner with him afterwards, after calling her kids to let them know she wasn't going to be home for a while.

During their dinner date, which Peyton was surprised to find herself not entirely revolted by the word, she learned that his name was Juilan, and a lot more about him. He was a producer, and he was filming a movie in a nearby town, but didn't want to stay at a motel there, because he didn't want to be near the paparazzi all the time. So he had, by chance, chosen the quaint little town of Tree Hill. That day he ran into her, he was just leaving the motel, and walking to his car after deciding to look for a motel in another town-due to a arguement he had with the manager-but he had run into her, and he just couldn't leave after that. So he had chosen a different place to stay, and since then he had gone to that club he had seen her enter every day after filming.

Surprised by his bluntness, Peyton couldn't help but feel refreshed. Lucas had always been so secretive about his feelings in the beginning, and there had been all that drama getting together with him. Nothing had ever been easy for the couple, and they constantly had to battle life for everything they had. With Julian, he told her everything upfront, and he wasn't ashamed to admit he liked her. She had to admit that she liked that. Also, the guy was just so different than Lucas, she let him right into her life, because she figured that was the best way to move on. She didn't let him past her sheilds, but she found herself kind of liking him, right away.

So, when graduation came around for the twins, and their birthday party, which they decided to combine with the graduation party, since Lucas had to leave for his book tour the day after, Peyton found herself inviting Julian to the party. Every day after working at Tric, which she was still doing after working at the high school, except for that one day, she met up with Julian, and talked a little, and she really found herself falling for his charm. Well, at least she was beginning to feel slightly less heartache when she thought of Lucas, and his pregnant mistress.

At the party, her kids seem to get along with Julian. He doesn't play basketball like Lucas, and he's not into music like Peyton, but he somehow manages to find a common ground with them. When Lucas arrives, he's alone, and Peyton can't help but bitterly wonder where Lindsey is, while at the same time feeling kind of hopeful because he's alone. Either one of those emotions is bad, considering she's trying to move on, but she just avoids Lucas for as long as possible, which is quite easy to do as she makes sure things run smoothly, and Julian gets along with her friends, too. She avoids introducing Lucas to Julian for as long as she can, but eventually it has to happen, and she could tell both men are jealous, and she doesn't think either of them really have a reason to be.

Well, Julian might, if the way her heart races when Lucas accidently-or maybe not-so-accidently, given the look his gives her afterwords-brushes his hand along the the legnth of her bare arm. Still, Julian doesn't know that, so he shouldn't be jealous. As for Lucas, he has absolutely no right at all to be jealous of who she's seeing, and she has to resist making some sarcastic comment about it. Peyton, Lucas and Julian stand in a circle for a while and talk about the kids before, thankfully, Haley and Nathan approach, and Haley tells Peyton that she's needed in the kitchen before taking Lucas to the side, and Nathan strikes up a conversation with Julian. Peyton makes a mental note to thank her favorite brother- and sister-in-law later.

Once inside, Peyton finds a situation that really does need her attention. Her son, Ryan, and Brooke's daughter, Sophie, were on the couch in her living room, making out. A moment passed in which Peyton just stood, staring at the two. She would never have seen that one coming. Ryan wasn't exactly a player-well, Peyton wouldn't call him one-but he did date a lot of girls, but this was just pushing it. As for Sophia, the girl was like Brooke as a teenager. That should have been enough explanation, but still, Peyton would never expect this, of either of them.

Clearing her throat, she realized that they hadn't noticed her, and she was trying to get their attention. She cleared her throat three times, and they still didn't break apart, causing her to roll her eyes. Reaching out, she grabbed Ryan's ear and Sophia's hair, and pulled them apart. With a noise rather like a suction cup, the two pulled apart with distressed moans of pain. Their pain quickly turned to shock as they looked up at Peyton, and she finally let them go. "You might want to pick a more secluded place next time you decide to suck face," Peyton suggested, crossing her arms over her chest as she raised her eyebrows at the pair of horny teens.

There was a guilty look on her son's face, with only mild embarrassment, whereas Sophia looked horrified and majorly embarrassed. She avoided looking at either Ryan or Peyton. Ryan looked up at his mom, waiting for her to decide whether she was going to yell at them or let them off. After a moment, Sophia looked up at Peyton as well. "Are you going to tell my parents?" she asked, then paused as she considered this. "I think my dad would kill him if you did," she said, her eyes widening as she contemplated what would happen if Owen found out his daughter dated. She had been pretty good at keeping her love life between her and her mother, and Owen preferred to remain ignorant.

Sighing, Peyton shook her head, knowing that there wasn't much she could do about it if her son wanted to make-out with her best friend's daughter. She was also pretty sure that Brooke would be extremely pleased. She didn't want to get Sophia in trouble, and she was pretty sure the embarrassment both teens felt was enough punishment to make sure they never got caught again. "You two are just lucky it was me who found you," she said as she turned to walk away. At the doorway she turned back. "You're not allowed in Ryan's room with the door closed," she said before continuing to the backyard, planning on sharing the tale with Brooke and Haley.

Before she could make it outside, her arm was grabbed and she was pulled into a closet. It took her a few seconds to get used to the sudden darkness, but when she saw it was Lucas, she nearly started screaming for help. "What the hell are you doing?" she asked, though they had done this at plenty of previous parties, during their marriage, when the sexual tension between them-which always seemed to be there-reached a high that neither of them could resist. They hadn't snuck away to a closet in at least two years, though, and Peyton couldn't understand why he did this now. "We're both seeing other people. What do you want from me?" she whisper-shouted at him, stepping closer to try to get a better view of his face.

Reaching up, Lucas lightly caressed Peyton's cheek. The action surprised Peyton so much, she didn't even jerk away, like her mind knew she should. In fact, completely opposite of what she should have done, Peyton found herself tilting her head, leaning into his warm touch. "I'm not with Lindsey anymore. That was a horrible mistake," he informed her. He opened his mouth to continue, but the mention of Lindsey had brought her to her senses. This was not the past, and they had not mutually decided to sneak into the closet for a quickie. Lindsey was the one he had chosen.

Pain and anger flashed in her eyes, though he couldn't see it. Peyton decided to take hold of the anger, and use it to keep the pain at bay. She immediately leaned out of his hand, and took a step back. "Damn you, Lucas Scott. Who the hell do you think you are? You can't leave me for someone else, throw our lives and our kids lives into upheaval, and then say, 'Oops, my bad,'" she barely contained her shout, reaching out to puncuate her words with pokes into his chest. "It doesn't work like that, Lucas, so I suggest you go back to the woman and child you chose, because if you think you'll be welcomed back into my house with open arms, you're dead wrong," she continued.

Not even wanting to listen to anything else he had to say, Peyton turned, ready to leave the closet and go back outside to keep herself from crying. This was not what Lucas had in mind, however, and he grabbed her wrist as she turned, pulling her back before she could place her hand on the doorknob. "I'm not trying to do that, Peyton, truly. Will you just listen to me for a second, like you haven't done once since this whole thing started?" he asked, a little bit of frustration leaking into his voice. "You use your anger as a shield and you don't even listen to anything I say. Can you please listen to me for once?" he begged.

The tone of his voice alone caused Peyton to stay where she was. She crossed her arms in front of her chest and stared at him defensively, but decided not to leave the closet, due to the desperation in his voice. Thinking back, she realized that she hadn't really ever given him a chance to explain. She had immediately kicked him out that first day, and then had avoided seeing him completely and every time she had the misfortune of seeing him after that, she barely spoke to him, much less listened. She had never wanted to listen to him, because she was worried about letting him back in, or maybe she was scared to see him happy without her, while she was so miserable without him. Either way, she was scared.

When Peyton stayed silent, Lucas cleared his throat, obviously shocked that she was going to listen. "When Lindsey told me she was pregnant, I realized then how stupid I had been, and how much I had screwed up the best thing that had ever happened to me: you. I wanted to beg you that day to take me back, but you, with good reason, of course, shut down, and didn't let me tell you that. I was going to support Lindsey either way, of course, but I didn't want to be with her. I knew that I only wanted you, but you shut me out, and, in another stupid move, I thought maybe I could learn to love Lindsey, since I was sure you would never be able to trust me again. I admit, that I don't blame you for your reaction, but the way you completely shut me out hurt," he confessed.

Barely surpressing a snort, Peyton raised one hand to cover her mouth, lest she start yelling at him again. He had been hurt? Still, a part of her could understand where he was coming from. When Peyton stayed silent, Lucas continued. "I didn't sleep with Lindsey after that. I wouldn't touch her, because I knew you were the only one I wanted. I guess that strained the relationship, and she realized that, but still, every time we were in public, somewhere we could be seen by you, or someone you knew who would tell you, she hung on me, acting all affectionate. I think I let her because I wanted to make you jealous, which, I realize, is almost as stupid as the other crap I did," he paused.

A few pieces seemed to click into place, and Peyton realized that she did rather quickly kick him out, and she wondered if they would still be together if they had talked it out back then. Did she still want to be with him? That was the question, but he continued, drawing her thoughts back to the present. "Anyway, the point to all this is, she recently told me that she lost the baby months ago. That she had been faking it for months now, and she wasn't pregnant. She had been pretending to keep me with her and I couldn't be with her after she lied to me like that. It made me realize how you must feel, except you must feel way worse than I do, because I was never in love with Lindsey. I've always been in love with you," he finished, his eyes focused on her face, trying to find her emotions in the darkness of the closet.

This new information threw Peyton for a loop. A part of her wanted to take in only the fact that he was still in love with her, that he always had been, and just think of that. She could throw her arms around him right now and take him back, and all of this pain could be over. The other side of her was more rational. Would the pain really be over, if she took him back? Maybe her heart wouldn't be completely broken, but she would still have to look at him everyday, and remember what he had done with Lindsey. She wasn't sure she could do that.

Then she thought of Julian. There was a great guy, right in her backyard, who hadn't cheated on her. He hadn't gotten someone else pregnant, and he hadn't broken her heart. Of course, Peyton was fairly sure that Julian would never be able to break her heart, given the fact that Lucas still had it, but that didn't mean she couldn't try to love him. Maybe she was wrong, and one day she would be able to love Julian. Or at least he wouldn't be able to hurt her if they did break up. Either way, it sounded better than the other possibility.

Her thoughts turning back to the guy she was in the closet with, she realized that she had goosebumps, and chills running up and down her spine, along with other reactions she only got for him. Obviously, her body did not care how much pain he had inflicted on her heart. She knew that Julian would never inflict this kind of reaction in her, even if she was attracted to him. There were certain reactions that Lucas and Lucas alone inflicted in her body. Reactions that not even Jake had managed to inflict, and she had loved him more than she had loved everyone except Lucas.

That thought almost had her giving in, but then the fear reared it's ugly head again, and Peyton found herself shaking hers. "No, Lucas, I can't do this. I can't go through what you put me through again, and I can't be worried it's going to happen. I'm sorry, but I'm with Julian now, and that's the way it is," she said firmly, but Lucas didn't seem to want to accept that. He grabbed her before she could open the closet door and spun her around. Peyton was sure for a moment that he was going to kiss her, and, to her chagrin, she found herself anticipating it, but then her name was called, not too far from the closet, and the spell was broken.

Firmly pulling her arm out of his grasp, Peyton fled the closet, looking for Brooke, who had been calling her name. Once Peyton spotted the brunette, she hurried over to her and pulled her towards the backyard, hoping to get her out of the house before Lucas could leave the closet and come find her. She knew that probably wasn't likely, and he could still come talk to her in the back yard, but she still breathed a sigh of relief when they made it outside. The problem was the way Brooke was looking at her, as if curious as to why Peyton had rushed them outside.

For a moment, Peyton scrabled her thoughts around, trying to think of an excuse, but then she remembered that she had been looking for Brooke anyway, before Lucas had distracted her, and now she had the perfect excuse, and she didn't even have to lie. "You'll never believe what I just walked in on," Peyton said conspiratorilly, knowing the tone alone would get Brooke's attention. Her best friend had always loved gossip. "Ryan and Sophia, making out on the couch in my living room," she said, cocking an eyebrow as she waited for Brooke's reaction.

Of course, that immediately made Brooke forget all about the questions she had, as she squealed and clapped her hands together. Ignoring the looks she got from nearly everyone else, Brooke continued to grin broadly. She had always wanted her daughter to get together with one of Peyton's sons, because she insisted it would make her even more a part of the family. Instead of just being best friends with Peyton, they'd be in-laws. "Yay, P. Sawyer, finally. How long do you think it'll be before they get married? Oh, I can see it already," she said, and Peyton just knew she was already planning the wedding.

Snapping her fingers in front of Brooke's face, Peyton began to regret telling her best friend of the little endeavor she had walked in on. "Brooke, Brooke, before you start picking out your dress for the wedding, don't you think we should figure out if they've even been on a date yet? I mean, they're teenagers, and not everyone is like Nathan and Haley, who marry in high school. There is quite a good chance that they are just hooking up, and nothing more will ever come of it, especially considering the fact that she's your daughter," Peyton said, slightly going into a rant, thinking more about her failed relationship with Lucas, which she had been sure about at that age, than of her son and Brooke's daughter.

That wasn't the way Brooke interpreted the words, though. Her gaze immediately snapped to Peyton's. "Are you saying I'm a slut, or that my daughter is?" she asked with a cocked eyebrow. She pursed her lips slightly as she watched Peyton roll her eyes. Then she just laughed it off. "Yeah, okay, you're probably right about me getting too far ahead of myself. I know there's a better chance of them not getting married than of them getting married, but still," she shrugged her shoulders. "A woman can dream, right?" she added, expecting the question to be rhetorical.

Staring off across the lawn, Peyton met Julian's gaze, and she really began thinking about Brooke's words. A woman can dream, right? That meant that Peyton could dream. She could dream of having everything back to normal with Lucas. That didn't mean it was going to happen. That didn't mean she had to upset the good thing she had going with Julian. It wasn't that big of a deal that she had bought a copy of Lucas's book the other day, after he had left his first signing, which, incidentally, he had insisted upon it being in Tree Hill. So she had bought her ex-husband's book, with no intention of ever reading it. She could support her children's father.

Considering all of that, she decided she could also dream about one day loving Julian the way that she loved Lucas. Maybe one day, if she stayed with him long enough, it would actually happen. In her heart, she knew that it probably wouldn't happen, ever, but a woman could dream, right? She sighed and blew her hair out of her face. "Yes, Brooke, a woman can dream," she said, with such emotion in her voice that Brooke looked over at her. Peyton had known Brooke had meant her question to be rhetorical, but she couldn't help the way those words slipped out of her mouth.

Thankfully, before Brooke could quesiton Peyton, someone declared that it was time for the girls to open their gifts. That didn't take too long, and then it was time for cake. Peyton drifted through the rest of the party with thoughts of Lucas and Julian as she tried to decide what to do. She still wasn't sure by the time everyone was leaving, but she forced a smile as she said goodbye to everyone, and made up lies as her best friends asked her if something was wrong. Soon it was just her and Julian, and a couple of her kids who stuck to their rooms left in the house.

As the couple lounged in the living room, Peyton rested her head on Julian's chest as he flipped through the channels. After a while, he turned off the TV and put down the remote, startling her as he moved. She sat up straight and turned to look at him. "We need to talk," he said with a sigh. Peyton tensed up even more at his words, but said nothing. Did he know about what happened in the closet? she thought, but didn't want to give anything away in case he didn't. "I have to go away soon, Peyton. I don't want to, but I'm starting work on another movie. I like you a lot, though, and I definitely want to continue seeing you," he said, looking into her eyes earnestly.

Biting on her lip, Peyton thought this over. She had the perfect opportunity to take the next step in their relationship. She could ask him to move in with her, and see where this could go. She was a bit scared, though. She wasn't scared of getting her heart broken, so much as she was scared that this would be the wrong decision. She then remembered the conversation with Brooke earlier, and decided it was time to take a chance, and if she couldn't do that with who her heart really truly wanted, she could do it with who she was trying to fool herself into wanting. "Julian, will you move in with me?" she just spat out the words.

For a moment there was silence, and Peyton was waiting, wondering if she had completely misjudged how he felt about her. He stared at her for so long, that she wondered if he could see right through her. Could he see that even then, she was thinking of Lucas, and how he would react to the fact that Julian had moved in with her. "You know, Peyton, I'd love to," Julian finally said, pulling her close for a kiss. Instead of feeling relieved that he had said yes, Peyton wondered if she hadn't made the biggest mistake she'd ever made, second only to kicking Lucas out of her life. She pushed all thoughts of the blond away and decided to focus on Julian instead.

A/N: I'm back! I know, it's been a long time, right? Over two months. I'm going back to school, though, and I told myself I would start posting again when I went back to school. I bet y'all thought I had forgotton about this fic. Well, I didn't, and I hope you didn't either. I hope there are still people reading this, and, more than that, I hope you'll tell me what you think. At least let me know if people are still interested, because I do have more ideas for this fic, but if there aren't people interested, I could move onto other projects. So, let me know. Thanks.

Disclaimer: I own nothing of One Tree Hill, except seasons 1-6, on DVD, and technically, that still doesn't make them mine.


	9. Address in the Stars

Peyton finally decided what to do with the copy of Lucas's books, which were piling up due to the fact that she bought one every time she saw it in the store. She went up to the attic, where she had put the box of stuff that reminded her of Lucas, and began to put them in there. Unfortumately, it caused her to lay eyes upon a picture of him, and that did nothing for her whole, trying-to-move-on-from-Lucas-by-dating-Julian thing. It only reminded her of what she didn't have, what she really could have, if she would let let go of her stupid pride.

Sure, Julian was a great guy, and she loved him, in a way. She hadn't dated him for three months for nothing. It was just, she didn't love him like she loved Lucas. Which, she hated that fact, for a few reasons. For one, she hated that she still loved Lucas, despite all the wrong he'd done her. For two, she hated that she couldn't love Julian the same way he loved her, because he deserved someone to love him the way she loved Lucas, and it just wasn't her. For three, she hated that Lucas obviously still loved her, from the letters he kept sending her from his tour, and he was not maklng it any easier for her to let him go.

When her eyes landed on the picture of him, a picture in which he'd looked so handsome and, more importantly, happy, her breath stopped in her throat. She froze in her spot, on her knees next to the box, with a book in each hand. She suddenly felt a wave of cold, for a reason she couldn't explain, and she was barely able to draw in a breath. For a long moment, she was unable to move at all, and barely able to continue breathing.

Then she snapped herself out of it, telling herself she was being silly as she set the books on top of the picture, picking up the last few and putting them in the box as well before she got up, hurrying to get out of the attic. She snuck down the stairs to her room, glad that none of her children were home at the moment, and that Julian was out of town, to scout a location for a movie he was working on. He tried to be gone only a few days out of the week, but Peyton found herself thankful for the alone time.

The whole time she was lying in bed-her bed, not the one in the guest bedroom, but the one she'd shared with Lucas-she wanted desperately to hear his voice. She knew it should be Julian's voice she was longing for, since he was her boyfriend, and he'd been away all weekend, and she hadn't talked to him, but no, it was the voice of her ex-husband that she wanted to hear.

Grabbing the phone off the nightstand, she dialed his number. Not his cell phone number, but the one to his apartment. Even though he wouldn't be there, actually, probably because he wouldn't be there. She just wanted to hear his voice on the answering machine. She didn't want him to actually know that she wanted to talk to him so desperately. She called him not just once, or twice, but five times to listen to the message on his answering machine.

After that she was feeling somewhat better, but only mildly. She really wanted to talk to him, but at the same time, she didn't want to encourage him, because she knew that he would take any form of contact from her that didn't have to do with their kids, as a sign that she wanted to get back together with him. And she didn't want to get back together with him, right? No, of course not. She just, wanted to talk to him, for reasons she really couldn't explain.

Instead of calling him, though, she decided to write down all of the things she needed to say to him, in a letter. She actually found it quite relaxing, in ways she hadn't even realised. She felt, better, really, about everything, because she'd been able to get so many things she wanted to tell him off of her chest. Of course, she couldn't actually send him the letter, but knowing that she had written those things down, and she wasn't hiding them inside anymore, made her feel better. Granted, she hadn't written half of the things that were on her mind, but it was better than nothing.

Not wanting to put this letter in the box in the attic, she went into her closet, pulling out the shoe box, of little things and trinkets left over from her relationship with Lucas. Some of them were things that he'd given her, and some were things he'd left behind, but she had no intention of giving them back. Without really looking at the contents of the box, she tucked the letter inside of it, put the lid back on, and slipped it back on the closet shelf.

A few days later, and Peyton found one letter for every day in the shoebox on her closet shelf. She found herself writing to Lucas every day, sometimes about completely random stuff, sometimes about the heavier stuff. Usually she got up in the middle of the night, not screaming, like she used to so long ago now, but crying almost every time, and to calm down, she would write to him, and that would help her get back to sleep.

Julian had returned to Tree Hill the same day she had written the first letter, and she was sure he didn't know that she was writing the letters to Lucas every night, because she was pretty sure she'd never woken him up getting out of bed, but she couldn't be sure. He'd been kind of distant lately, and she wasn't sure that she'd done anything else that would cause the distance.

That night she woke up again, silent tears streaming down her cheeks. She glanced at the clock. The red numbers flashed: 1:47. She slipped out of bed, moving silently through the house as she wiped at her tears. She made it to her bedroom, but she knew that just writing a letter tonight wouldn't do. So she dug through her closet, all the way in the back, where she found an old sweatshirt of Lucas's. She pulled it on, and then tiptoed downstairs grabbing her keys when she passed the table they were on.

Slipping outside, she softly closed the door and then walked to her Comet. She got in and started it up, putting the top down and beginning to drive through town. She drove past all the places that had meant something in their relationship. The Rivercourt, that street where she'd almost hit him in the very car she was currently driving, and, of course, that road that ran alongside the river, where her car had broken down, and he'd been the one to fix in, fixing her heart in the process.

There were tears still streaming down her face as she spoke to the pitch black sky, asking why everything had turned out this way. She just screamed, because it hurt so bad, and she couldn't do anything to change it. She was literally having a break down on the side of the road. Only this time it wasn't her car breaking down, it was her, and she desperately needed Lucas there to pick up the pieces, but he wasn't there, and that just made her cry harder.

In the beginning, everyone had told her she needed time to heal, that she'd be able to move on and get over him. She knew it was all a bunch of crap, because she still hadn't moved on, no matter how much she tried. Chase hadn't helped her to move on, though he was a great friend now, and Julian hadn't been able to help her move on, though he loved her in a way she didn't deserve, given the fact that she didn't feel the same way. She was beginning to think that nothing and no one would be able to fix her broken heart. Not this time.

Of course, she knew there was one contradiction to that statement. Lucas could fix her heart, if she'd let him. She just didn't think she'd be able to do it, not after everything that had happened. How could she trust that she would be enough for him, when she obviously wasn't the first time? She really wished she could trust that they would work, but her faith had been destroyed. She wasn't even sure she believed in love anymore. Yet, the feeling she got when she even thought of Lucas-that fluttering in her heart, the butterflies in her stomach-made it very clear that love was very real.

More than anything, she realized that her love for him hadn't diminished in the slightest. Throughout everything, all the good days and the bad, she still loved him just as much as she had loved him on the day they had said their vows. She still loved him as much as she had when she was sixteen, and he was putting her through all that crap with Brooke, and everything that happened then. She still loved him just as much as she had on the day their kids were born. She still loved him. Perhaps more than on any of those days because she realized that all she wanted was to be in his arms again, and she really wished that could happen.

The one thing that stood in her way was herself. She was sure she couldn't say those words to him. She didn't know how. She was afraid that he would hurt her again, and she couldn't stand being hurt like that a second time. She was also afraid of what would happen if she didn't take him back. The way she was currently feeling wasn't really something a feeling she wanted to have indefinately. She really didn't want to hurt Julian, but could she really continue to hurt her heart in this way by not allowing herself to be with Lucas? She wished she could know the answers.

Parked by the riverbend where she first talked to Lucas, she cries hersefl to sleep, just as the first rays of morning light peek over the horizon. It isn't until hours later that she wakes up, and as she regains her bearings, she frantically turns the key in the ignition so she can check the time. It was just after three o'clock in the afternoon. She didn't understand how she could have slept so long. Her first thought was of her children, and she would bet that about half of them were asleep or only just rising because she hadn't been there to wake them up and get them out of bed. Second, she considered Julian, and she wondered if he was wondering where she was.

After giving herself a moment to really wake up, she started driving home. The girl's convertable and Madison's and Kari's cars were gone, and, she noticed after feeling the hood of the guy's truck, it had recently returned. Julian's car appeared to be in the exact place she had left it, which meant he hadn't gone to work, which meant he was probably worried about her. She felt only slightly guilty, which probably didn't say anything good about her personality. The thing was, she was more concerned with the fact that her kids might be worried about her.

Just as she was approaching the steps, the front door opened. Ainsley came running out, wrapping her arms around her mother. "Thank God you're home. Mom, where have you been? Julian came into all of our rooms this morning, asking us if we knew where you would have disappeared to in the middle of the night. The middle of the night, Mom? Didn't you and Dad always tell us never to go anywhere in the middle of the night without telling at least one or two people?" she cocked an eyebrow, letting go of her mother as she stopped rambling.

Unable to resist a slight smile, Peyton noticed a few more of her kids pouring out of the house. Seth, Ryan and Martin were all surrounding her in the next moment, throwing questions at her rapidly. Peyton held up her hand for silence before speaking. "I'm fine. I just woke up in the middle of the night and went for a drive, then fell asleep in my car. I'm sorry I didn't tell anyone, but I really thought I would be back before anyone could notice my disappearance," she explained, smirking at the irony of having to explain herself to her kids.

The convertable pulled up and Marissa was out of the car before Jessalyn could even stop it fully. She ran over to her mother and pushed through the crowd, wrapping her arms around her tightly. "Mom, what the hell? We can't disappear in the middle of the night, but you can? You've always said you wanted things between us to be fair," she scolded. After moving back so Jessalyn could hug Peyton, Marissa pulled out her phone, typing out a text quickly. It must have been to her sisters, because both Kari and Madison pulled up to the house within minutes, each with their own questions for their mother.

Breaking up the third degree, Peyton ordered them all into the house, and as they were walking in, Ainsley sheepishly admitted that she should call their father. Glaring at all of her kids, she sent them inside and decided to dial Lucas's number. As she pulled out her phone, she realized that it was dead, which explained to her why she hadn't received any calls from anyone. She put her phone back into her pocket and headed inside to the house, searching for the cordless, which wasn't on the charger, she noticed.

Everntually, she located the phone, but not until running into Julian, who she sidestepped with a quick excuse before she retreated into the bedroom she and Lucas had shared, dialing his number after locking the door behind her. As she heard a worried hello in a familiar voice, Peyton felt her stomach swoop. Calling Lucas just to hear his answering machine was great, but it just didn't compare to the actual sound of his voice. "Hey, Luke, it's, um, Peyton. I hear the kids-" that was all she managed to say before she was cut off by Lucas.

For a good five minutes, Lucas went on about how worried he was, barely giving her a chance to explain herself. When she finally managed to convince him she was fine, she had to admit to him that she had been parked by the river when she had fallen asleep in her car. She didn't say the words, but she knew that he knew it was because of him. He told her he loved her before hanging up, and she was really glad that he said the words, but she couldn't say it back. At least, not to him. "I love you, too, Lucas," she said aloud when she heard the dial tone.

A few minutes later she emerged from the room, having made calls to Brooke and Haley, so they knew she was okay. She found Juilian in the guest room, and from the look on his face, she knew that this was it. "Can we talk, please?" he asked, and she nodded, slowly walking into the room and sitting next to him on the bed. He stayed silent for a minute before taking a deep breath, turning to look at him. "I've see the box in the closet, and the one in the attic. I know that you write letters, and, considering they're in a box of stuff that reminds you of Lucas, I'm sure that they're to him. I just have one question, Peyton. Are you still in love with him?" he asked, speaking quickly, before she could even become indignant about the fact that he looked through her stuff.

Given the question, she really couldn't get mad about the fact that he had been looking in her stuff. Well, she could, and the Sawyer part of her, with a temper, really wanted to be mad, but she just didn't have the heart to. He deserved to know the truth. Unfortunately, she didn't really know what the truth was anymore, she had been lying to herself and everyone else for so long. Did she love Lucas or not? The answer her heart gave was yes. The answer her head wanted to give was no, but the heart wants what the heart wants, right? She really wished it was that simple.

Her silence was more than enough answer for him. He broke the eye contact and stood, walking over to a suitcase she hadn't noticed before. "Julian, wait, please, let me explain," she said, standing and moving to the door before he could walk out of it. "I don't want to love Lucas. I really don't. I would love to be in love with you the way you're in love with me, and I do love you. No, I really do," she said when he snorted in protest. "I'm just not in love with you, and as hard as I've tried to be, it just isn't working. It's not you, but it's not really me either. You just can't help who you're in love with," she said, stopping when she realized she was babbling. "I'm sorry," she added.

for a moment, Julian doesn't say anything. "I'm sorry, too," he finally said, then he moved around her, and Peyton knew she wouldn't be hearing from him for a while, if she ever saw him again. As she heard the front door close, she walked out of the guest room and into the master bedroom. She laid on the bed and started crying, not for Julian, but for Lucas. As she had been trying to convince Julian that it wasn't his fault, she had realized that she never would get over Lucas. She'd already known that, but now it seemed so final. She couldn't even love a great man who had done her no wrong. Would she ever be able to accept Lucas into her life again, or would she be on her own once her kids moved out?

Not wanting to stay in bed forever, Peyton decided to get up and do something. She was suddenly struck by inspiration, and she hopped out of bed, grabbing clothes so she could take a shower. She dressed, applied no make-up to her face and pulled her wet curls into a low bun before grabbing a few things that were stashed in the very back of her closet. She hadn't seriously drawn in months. Sure, when school had still been in session, she had done something for every assignment she had given her students, but aside from that, she hadn't touched a sketchbook.

After remembering to call out that she was leaving the house and grabbing her now-charged cell phone, she headed out to her Comet, tossing the sketchbook onto the seat next to her. She drove for a while before ending up at the Rivercourt, and she had a feeling that had been her destination all along. She grebbed her sketchbook and pencils, which she hadn't used in over a year, because she only used them when she wanted her drawings to mean something. She walked over to a picnic table and began to draw from her heart in the first time in way too long.

Getting lost in her own world, Peyton never noticed Lucas stride up to the court with a basketball. He was wearing a grey hooded sweatshirt, much like his old one, without the Keith Scott Body Shop logo and he had his headphones in his ears as he dribbled the ball up to the court. He didn't notice Peyton until he was getting ready to play, but, after taking note of her concentration, and remembering the fact that their kids mentioned they never saw her drawing anymore, he decided to just start playing ball. He would deal with whatever Peyton's reaction to his presence was when she realized he was there.

About halfway through her drawing, Peyton glanced up and saw Lucas, but she didn't say anything. She just ducked her head again and concentrated on her drawing with a smile on her face. She concentrated on finishing her drawing before she took the whole thing in. It was no suprrise to her that it depicted her and Lucas, with him standing in front of her, and her holding his hand to her heart. Her thought bubble read: 'Can I trust you again?' That was the real question, she knew. Could she trust him with her heart? She was scared that the answer would be no.

Closing the sketchpad, so Lucas wouldn't see the drawing, Peyton stood, moving to the other side of the table and sitting on it. Lucas noticed her movement and pulled his earbuds out of his ears, pulling his hood off as he strode over to her, the basketball tucked safely underneath his arm. "So, are you going to yell at me now, for spending time here while you're here? I mean, this is the Rivercourt, and my turf, but you were here first, and I could have respected that, but to be honest, it was nice to spend time with you without yelling or anything, and it was nice to talk civally to you on the phone earlier," he said with a shrug, unapologetic.

To be honest, she had enjoyed spending the time with him, too, even if they weren't doing anything together. It was nice just to be in his presence. It reminded her of all the times they had come to the Rivercourt to do this very thing while they were still happy. Except back then she always rewarded him with a kiss afterward for every basket he had made. Suddenly she just decided what the answer to her sketch question was going to be. She was going to take a risk. "I'm not going to yell at you. I kind of like not yelling at you, actually," she joked.

For a minute she contemplated how she was going to tell him about her decision. Recklessly, she slid off of the bench, sauntering toward him with a seductive look in her eyes, which she knew he recognized by the change in his posture, and the fact that he dropped the basketball. "Julian left me today. Do you want to know why?" she asked, but didn't wait for an answer. "He knows I'm still in love with you, and I'm always going to be," she said, waiting for him to process the information before reaching him, taking his hand and placing it on her heart. "I don't want you to break this again," she said, looking up at him with vunerability in her green eyes.

Meeting her gaze steadily, Lucas left his hand resting above her heart, even when she removed hers. He hated the pain that was in her eyes, and he hated that he had caused it, especially over such a horrible lie. He wanted to know that she still had his heart, and she always would, and he would spend forever convincing her that he was going to keep her heart safe. "Never," he said softly, sincerely. "I love you, Peyton Elizabeth Scott, and I'll spend the rest of my life trying to regain your trust, because there's nothing else I'd rather do," he said, before dipping his head down to catch her lips.

A/N: I've decided to move my updates to every Monday now, because I have this issue I want to discuss with y'all. Okay I have to admit, that in the last few chapters, I've totally forgotton that Haley was pregnant. I bet y'all did too, because no one had reminded me of it. So, I have to ask y'all what you want me to do. I can either pretend she already had the baby, because she was supposedly about five months pregnant over four months ago, and so would have had the baby by now. Or I could pretend she's in her ninth month next chapter and make her have the baby then. What do y'all think? Please, let me know what you would prefer. I already know what she's going to have, and I think I even know what I'm going to name it, but you can give me ideas for that too, if you want. Review and let me know. I really appreciate any input y'all give me.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.


	10. The Newest Scott

Just before Lucas's lips could touch hers, an image of Lindsey and Lucas kissing flashed in her mind. She pulled back, shocked, and realized that she just wasn't ready to take a risk like that. She wasn't ready to put her heart out there yet. Yes, she loved him, she was finally admitting that, but she wasn't ready to put all of her trust into him yet. She stepped back. "I'm sorry. I love you, but I can't go there yet. I'm still trying to process the fact that we went through all this pain and you're saying there wasn't even a reason for it. I just, I'm not ready," she said before fleeing to her car and driving away before he had time to react.

Not managing to drive very far, Peyton was only driving for about five minutes before she pulled her car over, trying to figure out what had just happened. Had she actually turned Lucas down, after realizing that she still loved him, and that she always would? She had thought she was willing to take the risk, but something had stopped her before she did. She wasn't sure what was going to happen now. A part of her desperately wanted to turn around and kiss him senseless. The other, more rational part realized that this was probably a good thing. She had always fallen right back into Lucas's arms when he'd asked her to. Now he would have to work for her, and it would tell her if he loved her like he said he did.

The longer she sat in the car, the more she realized that she had been doing the right thing when she had pulled away from Lucas, despite the fact that she longed for nothing more than to feel his lips on hers, and to feel other parts of him too. If she had given into the temptation, it wouldn't quite be just sex, because it had never been just sex between her and Lucas, but it wouldn't be for the right reasons. No matter how much she loved him, she wasn't sure she could be with him yet, and she didn't want to get sex involved until she was absolutely sure of her feelings.

Instead of going home, Peyton decided it was time to visit her in-laws. She knew that Haley was on bed rest right now, being so close to her due date, and she knew that the petite brunette was probably going crazy sitting at home all the time, being unable to do much of anything. Peyton had been the same way when she was having the 'lets, although, she had been considerably bigger. She had been that way before having the twins, too, though Lucas had not allowed her to do anything at all, but she couldn't blame him, since the twins had been a high-risk pregnancy. He had been funny when she was pregnant with the 'lets, though.

FLASHBACK

Peyton was standing in front of her closet, on a step-stool as she reached toward the back of the shelf, trying to get to something. Lucas came in and saw his wife, immediately going to her side as she pulled something off the shelf, blindly knocking a few other items off as well. He grabbed her as she stepped down, nearly tripping because of her huge belly. "Peyton, what the heck are you doing? You should be in bed," he said as he led her over to the bed, helping her to sit on it before going back to pick up the items she had knocked off of their closet shelf.

Allowing Lucas to force her back onto the bed, Peyton looked at the item she had clutched in her arms. She opened the photo album and flipped through the pages, stopping on one in particular. She held the book up towards him. "Look, Lucas, aren't they so precious?" she asked, pointing to the picture of the twins, not long after she had given birth to them. They were small for newborns, because of the complications Peyton had suffered, but in the picture they looked healthy enough, and just adorable.

As the tears welled up in her eyes, she wiped at them, laughing at herself. "Stupid hormones. I'm feeling so nostalgic right now, because we're going to have six more soon. Six, Lucas. Our family of four is going to expand to ten, just like that," she said, still flipping through the photo album that held pictures of the twins first year, and the nine months previous. They already had an album that contained pictures of the last nine months, which included pictures of the twins with her stomach, which had grown to humongous proportions, especially in Peyton's opinion.

Of course, Lucas wasn't done telling her off. He was a worried father, and husband. "Peyton, why didn't you wait for me to get that? I could have gotten it for you, if you had asked. You could have fallen. You've got to take it easy, okay? At least until your appointment next week, because the doctor said that anything can send you into early labor, and the doctors want to keep those babies in you for as long as possible, so they can get as much growing as they can," he could tell she wasn't really paying attention to him.

Shaking his head, he gave up on the lecture, knowing his wife was too stubborn to listen. Instead, he moved over and sat next to her. The twins were napping, so he had one of his few free moments. With Peyton out of commission, at least according to him, he had been busy nearly every second since the doctors had suggested that she go on bed rest, because his version of bed rest was a lot more stern than theirs, and he had barely let her lift a finger, but that was only because he was worried about her. The complications in the last pregnancy had scared him so bad. He wanted everything to run smoothly this time.

Rolling her eyes to let him know that she had heard every word, she broke her attention away from the photo album for a moment to look at him. "I'm fine, Lucas, really. Nothing happened, and I'm back in bed now, okay?" she assured him,cocking her head to the side as she looked at him. "You're lucky I know you're only going psycho over this because you're worried about me, otherwise I'd kick you out of my house," she paused for a moment. "Instead, though, I just know I'm pretty lucky, because I have an amazing husband who dotes over me, even if it is a tad much sometimes," she leaned over, meeting his lips with hers.

That didn't last long, because a couple moments later, Madison and Kerri were toddling into the room, Madison running up to her dad's legs, and Kerri running up to her mom's. "Ew, gross," Madison proclaimed, causing the couple to break away from each other and look at their baby girls. Lucas picked up Madison, ticking her as he pulled first her on the bed, and then Kerri, so Peyton wouldn't bend down to pick the two-year-old up, which she probably would have done, if she hadn't still been holding the photo album.

As Lucas begins tickling both girls, Peyton just watches, with a smile on her face. Her hand moved to her large stomach, rubbing gently. "You guys are very lucky, you know that? You're coming into a family that alrady has so much love we don't know what to do with it, and it'll always be that way. I promise, we'll always be a family, with plenty of love to go around," she murmured, noticing the lack of laughter, she looked up, to notice her husband staring at her. "Hey, guys," she said to the girls, "Do you want to look at these pictures with me? They're all of you," she offered.

The two girls got excited at the prospect of looking at pictures and Lucas settled on his side of the bed, as Peyton got more comfortable on her side, and the girls sat in between them. Peyton put the photo album on their laps, holding one side, while Lucas held the other, and they each had their arms around the girls. Peyton flipped back to the front of the album, and the girls looked on excitedly as Peyton explained that they had been in her tummy at the time the picture was taken. "You mean like the babies now?" Kerri asked, looking up at her mom.

With a smile, Peyton glanced over their heads, at Lucas, who smiled back, before looking down at her kids again. "Yes, baby girl, exactly like the babies now," she answered, flipping to another page. "And pretty soon, they'll be here, and you'll get to meet them. They'll probably look something like this," she said, pointing to a picture of the newborn twins, still in their incubators, where they had had to stay for a couple of days. "Hopefully they'll be strong and healthy, and we'll be able to bring them right home," she said.

The girls looked up at Peyton and Lucas, and Lucas couldn't help but add to what his wife was saying. "You know how Aunt Haley is pregnant, too, and she's due to have her babies any day now. Except she'll only have two, like when Mommy had you two. Now Mommy's going to have six," he explained. Madison asked if Aunt Haley was going to have six next, and Lucas and Peyton laughed as Lucas shook his head. "No, sweetie. Mommy is a special case. See, when she had the two of you, she had some problems, and she had to go to the doctor to get help with getting pregnant again, and because of that, she's having more babies than she would otherwise," he explained, ruffling his daughter's blonde hair.

A cell phone ringing broke the family out of their moment, and Peyton reached over and grabbed her phone from the nightstand. "Hello," she said and there was a pause as whoever was on the other line spoke. "Oh my gosh, of course, we'll be there soon," she said excitedly after a moment, shutting her phone. "Well, looks like you're going to meet your cousins sooner than we thought. That was Uncle Nathan. Aunt Haley is having her babies," she told her family, and Lucas jumped into action, rushing around to Peyton's side of the bed, helping her up and out of the house, grabbing jackets for all three of his favorite girls before taking them to the car so they could drive to the hospital.

END FLASHBACK

Smiling at the memory, she pulled her car to a stop in front of the Naley house. Robert and William had decided back then that they weren't ready to meet the world, and they didn't actually come until two weeks later, a week after Peyton's labor was induced and two weeks after they were due. Haley had been bored out of her mind sitting around the house for those two weeks, waiting for them to make their appearance, and Peyton knew Haley would be the same way now. She knew it was a good thing that Haley's babies never came before they were due, but it had to be boring sitting at home doing nothing, as she well knew.

So she got out of her Comet and headed to the front door, knocking on it when she reached it. She could have just walked in, but she felt like knocking. The door opened and she saw her niece standing there, with no adult at the door. "Now, just what are you doing, opening the door, Brianna? Haven't your Mommy and Daddy told you not to do that?" she asked, stepping in and picking up the little girl, who had raven hair and blue eyes like her father. "Speaking of your Mommy and Daddy, where are they?" she continued before Brianna could answer her first question.

Just as she finished saying that, Nathan came rushing down the stairs. "I thought I told you not to answer the front door without me, Bri," Nathan scolded, finally noticing Peyton. "Oh, hey, Sawyer, what's up?" he asked, as Peyton set Brianna down and closed the front door behind herself as Brianna ran off towards her bedroom. "I didn't know you were stopping by, or I would have saved you some dinner. As it is, I just put the leftovers away, but I could always reheat something for you," he offered, as he gestured for her to come further into the house.

Shaking her head, Peyton politely declined. "Nah, it's okay. I didn't come here to eat anyway. I came here to keep one of my best friends company while she has pretty much nothing to do. I figure you're not letting her do anything, so she doesn't strain herself. I know how you Scott men are about your pregnant wives," she said, cocking her eyebrow. "Way overprotective," she added with a laugh, just to tease Nathan. He playfully hit her arm and she rubbed the spot. "Okay, you are so losing your best friend title over that," she teased.

Laughing at her, because he knew she was just teasing, Nathan stuck his tongue out at her. "Whatever, you know you'd be lost without me," he teased back, turning to go to the living room. "You came to see my wife anyway, so what is up with that, Sawyer?" he bantered, stopping at the doorway to the living room. "Seriously, though, Hales is up in our room. I'm sure she would love to see you. Yell for me if you need anything," he said before going into the living room to watch T.V. with Brianna, as he had promised to do at dinner.

Heading up the stairs, Peyton didn't knock before entering Nathan and Haley's bedroom. Haley, who was sitting on the bed, a notebook propped on top of her pregnant stomach and glasses perched on the end of her nose, looked up at the sound of the door opening, smiling as she saw the blonde. "There's my favorite pregnant sister-in-law. How you doing, Hales?" Peyton asked as she stepped into the room, coming to sit next to Haley on the bed, but thinking better of it and grabbing the desk chair instead.

Scrunching her nose at Peyton's choice of seat, Haley set the notebook aside, pulling her glasses off and setting them on the night table. "I am so bored sitting here all the time. I can't wait until this little one gets here. Nathan is doting on me all the time, and while I would usually love that, I want to meet our newest Scott," she said, eying the chair Peyton was sitting in next to the bed. "Why are you sitting over there anyway? Do you have bad news or something?" she asked, cocking an eyebrow.

Realizing that it must seem like she was trying to stay away from Haley, Peyton shook her head, but then her thoughts went to the almost kiss with Lucas. Was that bad news? She looked down at her hands for a moment contemplating whether or not to tell Haley, but then decided that she didn't want to stress Haley with her problems. She looked back up with a forced smile. "Oh, yeah, Hales, I came up here because I want to be away from you," she joked. "I just don't want to sit on that bed that you and your husband share every night. I'll stick to the chair, thank you very much," she said.

Thinking it over, Haley couldn't help but laugh. "Suit yourself then," she said, as Peyton once again lost herself in her thoughts regarding Lucas. She was trying to decide what to make of the almost kiss. Sure, she had admitted her feelings to him, and he had promised to never break her heart again, but those were just words. She was really scared to make the committment to Lucas again, unless he was willing to really do something to prove to her that the risk could be worth it. "What's wrong?" Haley asked, notincing the look on Peyton's face.

Shaking her head, to get rid of the thoughts, and to tell Haley that nothing was wrong, Peyton put the smile back on her face. "Nothing at all, sister-in-law," she said, not giving Haley any time to protest before continuing, by changing the subject. "Now, whatcha working on? Are you working on a new song, because if you are, I'd love to hear it?" she gestured to the notebook Haley had just been writing in, knowing it was the one Haley wrote music in. For a moment Haley just stared at Peyton, but then she accepted Peyton's answer, and showed the blonde what she had just been working on.

A little while later, Haley clutched her stomach. She had been getting cramps all day, but, until now, she had just assumed it was Braxton Hicks, as it felt the same as before, but this time was different. Along with the pain she felt in her stomach, she suddenly felt water between her legs. She looked up at Peyton, who was staring at her with wide eyes, asking her what was wrong. "Unless I've just developped a bed-wetting habit, my water just broke, and I have to be honest, I've never wet the bed in my life," she told Peyton, who was still sitting there.

It took Peyton a moment to jump into action. She had never been on this side of the pregnancy before. She hadn't been right at hand when Haley or Brooke had had any of their children, and had always been called from the hospital. It was most definitely different to be near someone going into labor. She snapped out of her stupor as Haley threw the notebook at her, and she helped Haley out of bed. "Nate, I hope your ready, because your about to become a father again," she called as she led Haley to the bedroom door.

A few moments later, Nathan was running up the stairs, and ten minutes later, they were all on the way to the hospital. Nathan was driving Haley in their SUV, with Robert and William sitting in the back, holding her hand through the pain, while Peyton drove her Comet, with Brianna in the back seat with her. Brianna kept asking questions about the new baby and her mother, and Peyton distractedly answered her while trying to use her cell phone and keep an eye on the road at the same time.

Giving up on trying to call and drive, she handed the phone to Brianna in the backseat. "Hey, baby girl, you know how to use one of those, right? Can you call your Uncle Lucas, and tell him what's going on?" she asked, then listened as Brianna dialed the number. Peyton listened as Brianna left a message, because, aparantly, Lucas wasn't answering his phone. "Can you call Aunt Brooke now, baby girl?" she asked, and then listened as Brianna told Brooke that they were on the way to the hospital because she was going to be a big sister.

Taking the phone from Brianna as they reached the hospital, Peyton explained that Haley was in labor. Brooke said that she'd be there soon, and hung up. Peyton got of of the car and picked Brianna up into her arms before heading inside the hospital. She found Nathan, Robert and William in the waiting room, because they had told Nathan they would come get him once they got Haley settled in the room. Peyton left Brianna with them, and then left the waiting room so she could call Lucas again. He, again, didn't answer, and Peyton rolled her eyes as she shut her phone. He was avoiding her now? Fine then.

Before she could go back inside, Lucas was suddenly in front of her. Her eyes widened as she wondered how he was here so fast when she hadn't even spoken to him. He spoke up before she could. "I got the message from Brianna, and thankfully, I was already driving, and in the neighborhood. How is she doing?" he asked, clearly avoiding the elephant between them. Well, Peyton could do the same thing, if he was going to play it that way. She didn't have a chance to say anything though, before Brooke rushed up to her, also inquiring about Haley. Owen, Mariah and Justin were behind her.

Holding up her hands, Peyton focused her full attention on Brooke, ignoring Lucas. "She should be fine. Everything is going normal. Her whole pregnancy has been normal, so this should go fine, too. The only thing we really have to do now is wait for this baby to make an appearance. I wish she and Nathan would have figured out what it is, though, but I guess we finally get to find out tonight, if we're lucky," she said, looking at her watch. "Most likely it'll be tomorrow, though, so maybe you should send Mariah, Justin and Owen home. Maybe they can take Brianna too. It's past her bedtime," Peyton suggested.

Brooke, being Peyton's best friend, could tell that Peyton was searching for random things to say because she was worried about something, or avoiding something, sor someone. Luckily for Peyton, though, Brooke assumed it had to do with the fact that one of her best friends was in labor, and nothing to do with the fact that she had almost shared a kiss with her ex-husband, after pretty much admitting she was still in love with him. "That's not a bad idea, P. Sawyer. Owen, let me go get Brianna, and then you can take the young ones home," she said, glancing at her husband before heading into the hospital.

As Owen took Justin and Mariah back to the car, she was left alone with Lucas. She looked up at him for a moment before turning, intending to head back into the hospital without saying a word to him. He caught her arm before she could. "Wait, Peyton, I have to admit, I was hurt and confused by what you did earlier, but I want you to know that I'm not giving up on you. I'm not giving up on us-" he started to say, but she interrupted him before he could continue. She barely listened to anything but the first part.

With a shocked look toward him, she ripped her arm out of his grip. "You were hurt and confused? Try living that way for months, like I was when I tried to figure out what I had done to make you cheat on me? Was I really that bad a wife that you had to turn to another woman and have an affair? That's what I don't get, what I've been trying to figure out for months now," she cut him off when he tried to speak. "No, I really don't want to hear it, Lucas. I thought I was ready to take a chance on us again, but I'm not, and I don't know if I ever will be," she cut herself off and tried to control her anger.

As she turned away, she was so sure she could go back into the hospital without another word to him, but she did have something else to tell him. She turned slowly back to face him. "Listen, I need to figure out where my head is at, okay? But first I need to be here for Haley, and you do too. Whatever is going to happen between us doesn't need to be worried about now. That's why I think we should keep what happened at the Rivercourt between us. I just want to focus on the newest Scott and his or her parents for right now. Not us, and whatever we are, or could be," she said sadly, turning and walking away from him completely that time.

A/N: I had to rewrite this whole chapter, just for you guys, so Haley could have her baby. I hope y'all like it. It's not that eventful, but I'm happy with it, I guess. What I really want to hear is what y'all think, though, so let me know if you have any comments, criticisms or compliments. Just anything you want to say, go ahead and say it. I don't have much else to say, so I'm going to cut off, and let you guys review.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.


	11. Battlefield

A couple of days later, Haley was home from the hospital, along with her new baby girl. Allison Penelope Scott had a shock of red hair on her head, and her eyes were still the non-color of a new born's eyes, but Nathan hoped they would turn brown like her mothers. Nathan insisted Allison looked nothing like him, so, in effect, she must look exactly like her mother, which he had been hoping for, but Haley insisted she saw a few features of Nathan in their newborn daughter. Peyton thought her newest neice was just adorable, no matter who she looked like.

Although, she could be just a bit biased, considering she was the Godmother. Peyton was honored to receive the title for the little girl, and she had spent a lot of time at the hospital, and then at the Naley house, so she could spend as much time as she could with her Goddaughter already. Brooke had been named Godmother to Brianna Elizabeth Scott because Haley had known how much Brooke had always wanted to be a Godmother to her daughter, and she hadn't been sure that she would have another girl.

Of course, Peyton hadn't minded, and she still didn't, because she was the little girl's real aunt anyway, and Brooke was only the aunt in name, but that didn't mean Peyton wasn't extremely pleased to be the Godmother anyway. She was Robert and William's Godmother as well, because Brooke was Godmother to all her girls, while Haley was Godmother to her three sons, and Brooke was also Godmother to James, but she liked being Godmother to a baby girl Scott. She enjoyed the prospect that Allison could have her mother's talent for singing and they could bond over that.

Currently, she was at the Naley house, and she was holding her two week old neice/Goddaughter while Haley took a moment to relax. "Thanks, so much for this, Peyton. I just need a moment to sit down, you know. It's been completely hectic since we got her home, with midnight feedings, and the like. I really appreciate this," Haley said, thanking Peyton profusely for probably the twentieth time. Haley looked so tired. She had barely slept since she had the baby, and Peyton was happy to help her, though she was getting tired of being thanked every few moments.

With a stern look sent to Haley, she looked back down at her Goddaughter again. "Tell Mommy that I love to take care of you, because I'm going to be the best Godmother ever. Yes I am, yes I am," she said in a baby voice. In her regular voice, she continued. "Seriously, Hales, it's no big deal. You know I don't mind helping you with her. I haven't had a baby in my house for sixteen years. It almost makes me want another one," she said, then she raked her eyes over Haley's haggard appearance. "Almost," she added.

Laughing, Haley leaned back into the couch, closing her eyes for a moment of much-needed rest. It didn't last long, though, before the front door opened, and they heard footsteps approaching. "Hey, where's my sister-in-law and my newborn neice?" a voice called, and Peyton closed her eyes as Haley opened hers, hoping it wasn't the guy she thought it was, but knowing that voice anywhere. Sure enough, it was Lucas who entered the room just moment's later. His eyes went to Peyton immediately, as she opened hers and avoided looking at him. "Oh, Peyton, you're here," he said, clearly surprised.

Doing her best to not show any reaction, Peyton just shrugged. "Of course I am. I'm here to spend some time with my Goddaughter and convince her mother to come out with us tonight, because she hasn't left the house since she had her daughter. Seriously, Hales, you have a babysitter lined up and everything. You can leave her alone for a couple of hours," she couldn't help but add. Haley said nothing, but looked subtly convinced. "Anyway, I have to run. I have things to do at Tric," she said, giving Allison a kiss on the forehead. "I love you, Ally," she said sweetly, handing the baby back to her mother. "See you, Hales," she added casually, making a bee-line for the front door.

His eyes on Peyton, Lucas followed her. "Peyton, wait, please," he called. She stopped, but she didn't turn to face him. "Can we talk, please?" he asked, and she slowly turned around. He figured that was as good as it was going to get. "I just want to know where your head is at. It's been two weeks already, but judging from your reaction to my presence, you're not sure," he answered his own question while Peyton stayed silent. "Listen, don't leave because of me. I just need to have a quick word with Nathan, then I'm leaving," he said to her.

Shaking her head, she took a step back. "No, it's cool, I needed to go anyway. I'll just..." she was going to add 'see you later,' to that, but, if she had her way, she wouldn't. So she didn't finish her statement. She just turned and left the house, heading straight for her car without looking back. Lucas watched her go, until he could no longer see her car. Peyton didn't drive far, though, before she stopped, pulling over to the side of the road and parking her car. Her emotions were confusing her. She had wanted to throw herself into his arms when she saw him, but at the same time, she still wanted to hate him for hurting her the way she had.

Seeing him was just confusing. It had made her heart race, like it used to, and a part of her had really wanted to jump him, then the more rational side of her had held her back. If she got back together with him-well, actually, the proper word was when, if she was being honest with herself-she didn't want it to be about sex, or anything physical. She wanted to be with him because she was emotionally ready to give her heart back to him, and while her libido was practically demanding she be with him again, she wasn't sure her heart was ready, and so she was confused about how to feel when she saw him-how to act around him.

Wanting to get out of there before Lucas walked by-because she knew he hadn't driven, because his car hadn't been there, so he had to have walked-Peyton started driving, just in time to get a text from Brooke, telling her to head over to Tric. With a little trepidition, worried that Brooke would take one look at her and immediately know something had happened, Peyton headed in the direction of Tric, deciding she definitely needed this evening out at the night club to clear her head. She wanted to be with Lucas again, of course she did, but she needed to be sure of his feelings first, and, more than that, she needed him to be sure of his feelings.

As soon as she arrived at Tric, she saw Brooke's car, glad that she was already there. She wanted to talk to her best friend and finally be honest with her, because she hadn't told her anything about what she was feeling towards Lucas; she hadn't even told Brooke that Julian had broken up with her, or anyone really. She also wantedt to have a drink though. She knew that wouldn't clear her mind at all, but she really wanted a night away from her confusion, and right now she was feeling angry at Lucas for the feelings she was having. She went straight for her best friend first.

Because Brooke's back was to Peyton, Owen reached over and tapped Brooke's arm before pointing her in Peyton's direction. The blonde wasn't really mad at Brooke, though she imagined she must look it as she stalked over. She just really needed to confess to her best friend what had happened. She stalked through the crowd to Brooke and grabbed her arm before yanking her away from everyone else, without so much as a word to anyone. Brooke looked mildly surprised by her attitude, and amused as well. "Geez, P. Sawyer, what crawled up your ass and died?" she teased, cocking an eyebrow at her best friend.

Not amused one bit, Peyton crossed her arms over her chest, and signaled for the bartender to bring her a shot of vodka. Peyton's alcohol of choice when drinking shots was something along the lines of schnapps. She hadn't liked doing shots of hard alcohol for a long time, but today she needed something stronger. She downed a shot and then another before telling the bartender to leave the bottle. Brooke was still eying her, wondering what had made her best friend wig out so badly. "I'm in love with him," Peyton finally said, turning to pour herself another shot.

This did surprise Brooke. Her jaw dropped open and she had to ask for clarification, just to be sure. Peyton turned back to Brooke sharply, sending her a sarcastic glare. "The frickin' Easter Bunny," she snarked, downing the shot she had just poured, taking her total up to three in the same amount of minutes. "Lucas Scott, of course. Who the hell else would I be in love with?" she said in a quite nasty tone of voice as she pinned her glare on Brooke again, wondering how Brooke could even ask that question.

Hiding her laughter, because she knew it would do nothing more than aggrivate the already beyond pissed Peyton, Brooke didn't hesitate before replying back. "Well, I was kind of hoping you meant Julian, because at least that would be unsuspected," she retorted, wondering if Peyton was more pissed at herself for what she was feeling, or at Lucas, for making her feel it. She knew that would wear off soon enough though. Peyton shot her a look that was pure venon, but turned to the bottle in her hand instead of saying anything.

The brunette wasn't done, though. She grabbed the bottle from Peyton, forcing her best friend to face reality instead of hiding behind a bottle. She had to admit the whole situation was somewhat amusing, though, especially considering what she knew. She really had to force herself to be serious as she took in Peyton's expression. It would be easier if she was dealing with the weepy Peyton, instead of pissed off Peyton, because pissed off Peyton was most stubborn, but she was going to force her best friend to listen. "Of course you're in love with Lucas, sweetie. We all knew it, and it's about time the two of you realize it again yourselves," she could tell Peyton wasn't listening.

Grabbing for the bottle, Peyton refused to listen to her friends words. Not because she knew they weren't true, but because she didn't want them to be. She wanted to be able to hate Lucas for scorning her, but she had never been able to hate Lucas. She had never been able to do anything but love Lucas, and Brooke knew that as well as she did. Brooke set the bottle down and put her arm around Peyton's shoulders. "You had to face it sometime, Peyton, now tell me what happened today to make you face it," she coaxed, knowing something else was going on.

Sighing, Peyton realized Brooke knew her far to well to put this off. "Okay, fine," she all but growled before starting the story. "Julian left me two weeks ago, the day Haley had Allison. I went to the Rivercourt to draw. Lucas went to the Rivercourt to play basketball. We didn't talk, but we were both at the Rivercourt for a while and it was nice. No yelling, no fighting. Like I said, nice," she paused for a moment, smiling. "Then I tell him I still love him, he tries to kiss me, and I run off before he can," she finished, condensing the story as much as she can to annoy Brooke.

It took Brooke a moment to really catch up with everything Peyton said. Then she turned to sare sharply at Peyton. "What do you mean you left before he could kiss you? Peyton, you love him, he's madly in love with you. What the hell is the problem in that?" she asked, when she was able to get some words out. She couldn't believe how stupid her best friend was being. Yes, what Lucas had done was bad, but they loved each other. They should be able to work it out. She just wanted to see Peyton happy again.

It wasn't that simple, though. Peyton had always been slow to trust, and now that Lucas had betrayed her, she was going to be even slower to trust him again. "He slept with another woman, Brooke. He got her pregnant, and he left me. He broke my heart and I won't let him do it again. I won't allow myself to be hurt by him again," she had started yelling and she had to lower her voice again, because she was beginning to draw stares. "I just don't want to get hurt. I want to know that he truly means what he says. I want him to fight for me," she turned away to wipe at the tears that formed in her eyes.

The brunette looked away for a moment, because she knew what Peyton was talking about. She, too, remembered a time when she had wanted the same broody blond to fight for her. She only hoped Lucas would give it his all this time. "In his defense, he didn't leave you. You kicked him out before he could," she said, holding up her hands in surrender as Peyton looked over at her. "I know that's not what you want to hear, though, so I'll say this. If he loves you like I know he does, he'll fight for you, and Peyton, you've still got to be willing to open your heart to him sometime," she wrapped her arm around Peyton's shoulders.

A few moments later, the two were interrupted by Nathan and Haley, as the couple came over to check on their blonde friend, who had taken the opportunity to grab the bottle back from Brooke and pour herself another shot. "Hey, what's going on? You come over and grab Brooke, start drinking mercilessly, and now it looks like you're about to cry. What did my idiot brother-in-law do now?" Haley asked as she stepped up to Peyton's other side and Nathan stood behind her, also concerned for the blonde.

Scowling, because Brooke took her bottle again, and handed it to the bartender as he walked by, Peyton turned to Nathan and Haley. "He cheated on me, and he made another woman pregnant and he left me," she said, and Nathan and Haley shared a look, because that had all happened a long time ago. So they were wondering what was going on now, and Brooke just cocked her head towards Peyton, letting them know they should wait for the blonde to finish. "Worst of all, is he makes me love him still," she added, crossing her arms over her chest.

The couple shared a look like they wanted to laugh, because usually it was a good thing to love someone, but they knew where Peyton was coming from, so they managed to stay silent. At least until Peyton finished by telling them about the almost-kiss. "Wait, you told him you loved him, and then when he tried to kiss you, you ran?" Nathan asked, shocked amusement on his face. "That is so typical Peyton," he added with a laugh, which was appreciated by not one of the women around him, least of all Peyton.

All three women glared at him and he held up his hand in a 'what?' gesture. "What? You told him you loved him. It's natural for a guy to want to kiss the woman he loves, especially when she tells him she loves him. You had to know he was going to kiss you. And then you ran, like you ran in high school. Like you ran from his proposal the first time. Although, I guess he was running, but you did say no. You guys have to admit, both of you have a bad habit of running when things don't go your way," he finished.

Neither Brooke, nor Haley knew exactly what to say, because Nathan kind of had a point, and neither of them wanted to point that out and risk Peyton's wrath. The blonde, was staring at Nathan, a sort of awed look on her face, which turned angry fast. "You are such an asshole. Seriously," she said, sticking her tongue out at him childishly. "I really don't know why I'm your friend," she shook her head, still staring at him. She was only partly serious, and they all knew it, and Brooke and Haley were enjoying watching Nathan dig a hole for himself.

With the Scott smirk on his face, he lifted his shoulders carelessly. "You know you want me, Sawyer. You're just sore because you broke up with me and I was snatched up by my beautiful wife," he draped an arm over Haley's shoulders, and all three women were wondering where he was going with this. "It's okay, you can admit it. You only wanted Lucas because he's a Scott, and you couldn't have me," he was only joking, of course, but the absurdity of it got Peyton to laugh, which had been what he was going for.

All of them laughed at Nathan, actually. Peyton stepped back. "Oh, no, guys, I think I'm getting pushed away by Nathan's ginormous ego," she said, a faked surprised look on her face. She laughed as she reached over and whacked his arm, none too lightly, but, because he was a basketball player who kept in shape year-round, it didn't hurt him. She was grateful that she had her friends to make her laugh, though, and she decided that since she was already at Tric and drinking, she might as well stay and hang out with everyone.

It was Kareoke night at Tric, and Peyton froze as she heard the name that the announcer called out for the first singer. She looked at her three friends, wondering which one of them knew about this, so she could kill them. Haley and Nathan looked as surprised as her, and Brooke just grinned at her, waggling her fingers at her friend in a gesture that told Peyton that Brooke had planned this. She glared at her friend for a moment, before looking towards the stage, at Jake Jageilski, who was now standing there.

It had been years since she had seen Jake. She hadn't seen him since before Haley and Nathan's second wedding, and she remembered when he had sang his song for her, the song that he had written, 'Someday'. He was singing that again now, onstage, for Kareoke night, and it took her right back to that moment from oh-so-many years ago. She watched Jake as he sang, staring straight back at her, and she didn't even notice when Lucas entered Tric, but he saw her, and he saw how she was watching Jake, and he couldn't help but feel a little jealous.

As soon as Brooke saw Lucas, she drifted away from Peyton and Nathan and Haley and headed for the blond. His eyes were on Peyton, of course, but he did see her as she approached, and he began watching her warily. He wondered just what Peyton had told her. "So, what are you going to do?" she asked him, rolling her eyes when he just continued to stare at her as if he didn't know what she was talking about. "About Peyton. You have to fight for her Lucas. You can't just let her go. We all know you two are meant to be together, you just have to prove it to her that you know it now, and you'll never let her go again," she clarified.

For a moment he just continued to stare at her, as if he honestly didn't know. "Geez, Lucas, you are going to fight for her, aren't you? We all know how stupid you were letting her go, don't continue to be stupid by not doing anything now. You've got to prove to her that you're not going to break her heart. Prove to her that you've realized the mistake you made and you know that you can't live without her. Tell her that you never want to live without her again. Do something, because if you do nothing, and wait for her to trust you again, she's not going to. You'll only end up losing her," she said, before moving away from him.

Realizing that Brooke was right, Lucas decided to come up with a plan. He was going to make her trust him again if it was the last thing he did. He watched Peyton, who was watching Jake sing, and realized he had his work cut out for him. Lucas couldn't believe Jake was back in town, and he wondered if Jake was here to get Peyton back. If he was, Lucas didn't know what Peyton would do. She might just run from him and hide behind Jake, and he wasn't sure how to stop it. He knew he was going to have to do something big to get her back. He now only had to figure out what that something big would be.

A little while later, Peyton was sitting with Jake, in the middle of her family and friends. She had seen Lucas, but he had kept his distance so far, and she was kind of thankful for that. She was taking the time to get to know Jake again. Apparantly, because Jenny was in college and living her own life now, he decided it was time for him to get back to his old life, and his home had always been in Tree Hill. So he was finally moving back. He had also heard about Peyton's divorce and had offered his sympathies. Peyton hadn't wanted to linger on that particular topic, though.

The next person was announced, and Peyton's eyes widened as she watched him go onstage. She could not believe Lucas was up onstage, doing kareoke. She never would have expected it, ever. For a moment, she thought she was so drunk she was imagining things, but from the shocked faces of those around her, she knew she wasn't seeing or hearing things. The song that he chose to play was 'Another Try,' by Josh Turner. It was country, and Peyton was surprised that he knew it when he dedicated it to her. She listened to the lyrics as he sang them and she was touched by the gesture.

However, she was not touched enough to start trusting him again. Only because she was drunk, she got up on stage not long after him with a song of her own. The song she sang was 'Love Drunk,' by Boys Like Girls. She finished and nearly tripped off the stage, but she got the point she wanted across. Right now she was still tired of hurting because of him, and she didn't want to be hurt anymore. "Do you really mean that, Mom?" Ainsley asked when Peyton got off-stage, but she walked away before Peyton could come up with a response, so Peyton went to find Brooke, who was with Owen, Jake, Nathan and Haley.

The adults were sitting at one end of the bar, sipping alcoholic drinks-with the exception of Nathan and Owen, who were choosing to drink water-while the teenagers sat at the other end of the bar, drinking soda because of the bracelets on their wrists that labeled them underage. Peyton took a barstool, still thinking about what Ainsley said. Was she completely against the idea of ever being with Lucas again? Her heart was still hurting from the last time, but if he actually fought for her, would she turn him away? She wasn't entirely sure, and a part of her hated Lucas for making her love him so.

With Peyton still lost in thought, the other adults continued their conversation, at least until Lucas went to the stage again. He tapped the mic and began to speak, looking directly at Peyton. "I'd like to dedicate this song to my ex-wife," he said, causing Peyton's head to snap up at his voice. She met his eyes as he continued to speak. "I made a lot of mistakes, but I've never stopped loving you, and I'm willing to do anything to prove that to you, even if we have to start back at the beginning again. I will do anything to make you see that I'm never going to stop loving you, and I'll never hurt you again. I'm going to love you forever, Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer. It's you I want beside me when my dreams come true, and I don't want you to forget that," he said before he started singing the song 'For You I Will(Confidence)' by Teddy Geiger.

It was sweet, and the sentiment was nice, but Peyton couldn't stand to be watched, especially while she was thinking about his words. Her buzz was suddenly gone and she slipped off the stool and headed for the back parking lot. She didn't know what she was going to do. She did love Lucas still, but did he love her still? That was what she wasn't sure of. She wanted to be sure of the fact that he would always be there for her and never hurt her again, because if she allowed him to pick up the pieces of her heart that he broke, she didn't think she'd be able to stand it if he broke it again.

As she was getting in her car, the passenger side door opened and she was surprised to see Jake there, getting in next to her. "Are you sure you're okay to drive?" he asked her, and she just sent him a look, a classic Peyton look that said she was fine and she knew that wasn't what he was really here to say. "Listen, Peyton, I know Lucas hurt you, but maybe you should give him a second chance. It's hard losing you. It makes a guy realize just what he's lost, and if you really love him, then you shouldn't waste time not being together," he said.

For a moment, she focused on his words, 'It's hard losing you.' Like he was talking from experience. She suddenly wished, if only for a moment, that she had never left Savannah. Maybe she and Jake would still be happy now, if only she hadn't given up on him. She almost wished that she hadn't loved Lucas, but then she knew that she did love Lucas, with all her heart, and Jake would have never had her whole heart. As the memories of the past eighteen years went through her mind, and at the thought of her eight children, she realized she wouldn't change anything at all.

Still, though, no matter what he said, and no matter what the past was, she had control of her future. "What if he does it again, Jake? If I wasn't enough for him the first time, what makes you think I'll be enough for him the second time around? How do I know he really loves me as much as he says he does? I don't want to get hurt again. I won't get hurt again, and I won't put my kids though the second break-up of their parents. I have them to think about too, you know," she said, wishing she knew what the future would hold if she took Lucas back.

Nodding, he reached over and rubbed her back lightly. "You never know what's going to happen until it happens, Peyton. You have to go there to come back. You can't live your life by 'what if's?' If you love someone let them go, and if they come back, they were always yours and if they don't, they were never yours in the first place," he broke off at this point because she looked up at him with an incredulous look. "I could throw cliches at you all day. The point is, if you truly love him, don't hurt yourself more by being afraid to let him back in. You never know until you try," he added with a smile.

If only it were that simple. They both knew it wasn't, but there was one issue that Peyton had brought up that he couldn't help but reply to. "Don't you think your kids would love to have their parents back together? Isn't that the dream of every child of divorce? Besides, I'm sure that, more than anything, they want you happy, and if you're not happy without Lucas, they know that. You have do to what's best for you, and your children will always support you in your decisions," he said and she leaned over and rested her head on his chest as she continued to think. She was actually glad to have Jake for comfort. It made things a little bit more bearable.

**A/N: **_I'm super sorry!! Seriously, I couldn't be sorrier. I hope y'all forgive me and still review this chapter. I hope you're still reading this. I've been horrible about updates, but this really isn't my fault. It was my internet this time. Not that it's an excuse, but still, I'm super duper sorry. This chapter was kind of a transition, just to introduce Jake into the fic, because I do have plans for him, and my plans for his storyline will elongate this fic, I hope, because I'm almost running out of ideas. This one might not make it that much longer, actually. Still no good Leyton, really, but they'll get together soon, I promise. I have a chapter written, either the next one, or the one after that, which will explain things from Lucas's point of view, because I think I have some people who are confused about Lindsey's role. That'll all be explained soon enough, I promise, so if I don't answer the questions you leave in reviews, it's because I know the answer will come up in an upcoming chapter. Anyway, please let me know what you think. I'm not going to promise a certain date for my next update, because I don't know when I'll be able to get to my friends computer again, but I'll try to update after finals, which are this week. Tell me if you like this chapter, or if you don't, or if you hate me for taking so long to update. Even if you want to talk about this weeks One Tree Hill, or something, just review, because I love every review I get and I really appreciate you guys for sticking with this fic while I've been so bad as an updater. Thanks._

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own One Tree Hill. I also don't own any of the songs I used in this chapter, but you should listen to them. They're really good._


	12. Didn't You Know?

**Another week passed during which Peyton avoided seeing Lucas every day, and continued to get closer to Jake. Jake hadn't made any kind of move on her, and she was glad to be just friends with him. Her label was thriving, and she was trying to spend as much time with the twins as she could, because they were leaving for Stanford and NYU in the fall. Madison was headed for California, while Kerri was going to New York and it was hard for Peyton to see her kids packing up and getting ready to leave.**

**On the other hand, Lucas hadn't left her alone. He was sending her gifts every day, and he emailed her a song every day that was supposed to be telling her how he felt about her. She had to admit, the songs were a nice touch. It was nice to connect with him over music again, and the songs he had chosen so far had gone a long way in softening her up to the idea of taking a chance on him again. The gifts were a nice touch, too. Each of them so far had a special connection to an important moment in their past. She would never admit it to anyone, but she was almost excited to get home and open the gift, and check her e-mail.**

**It was really disconcerting how even now, just a week after she'd proclaimed she wasn't ready to fall back into Lucas's arms and take him back, she wanted to do just that. He was diligently working at chipping away the wall she had put up, and he was actually managing to make a dent in it, and she wasn't even sure he knew what a difference just a week of presents and songs had made. With every gift she felt some of that pain being erroded away, because it let her know that the past eighteen years had meant something to him, that she had meant something to him.**

**Currently, though, she was spending the day with her daughters, shopping for stuff for each of their dorm rooms. They were leaving tonight, and Peyton had insisted on doing some last minute shopping before sending them off to live on their own. She had avoided the topic of them leaving all day, but as they loaded the bags in the car, she felt the sudden urge to burst out crying. She pulled Madison and Kerri into a tight hug, startling both of them, though they quickly began hugging her back. "Don't cry, Mom," Kerri said as she rubbed Peyton's back.**

**Composing herself, Peyton nodded as she pulled back, smiling sadly at her eldest daughters. Madison bit her lip as she looked between her mom and her twin sister. "We're not going to be gone forever, Mom," she said, trying to comfort herself as much as her mother. This would be the first time she would really be out on her own, without even her twin for comfort. They were really going to have to grow up now, and she wouldn't even have her boyfriend for comfort. The guy she had been with on-and-off since her sophomore year was going to a different college. It was enough to bring tears to her own eyes.**

**Before she knew it, Kerri was crying too, simply because her mom and sister were. The three of them group-hugged again as they all tried to gain control of their tears. It was quite a while before they managed to get in the car and head back to the house, though. By the time they made it to the house, the three of them had managed to stop the tears completely, and were trying to be positive. Peyton's daughter's were going to get to experience the world and explore their passions. She should be happy for them. She was, truly, but she just wished they could do their exploring and experiencing a little closer to home.**

**By the time they made it back to the house, everyone was already there, which had been part of Peyton's plan, of course, although the tears had not been forced, they had been helpful in keeping the twins away from the house longer to give everyone else a chance to set up. They looked at their mom upon seeing all the extra cars, and despite both of them needing to pack and ready themselves for their departure that evening, they were glad that their whole family would be there to send them off, and they were also secretly hoping their mom and dad would talk, maybe begin to work things out.**

**Both girls knew what their father had done, and neither of them were happy about it, but they both loved their dad, and they both knew that their mom loved their dad. They just wanted their mother to be truly happy again, and if that would happen with their father, so be it, just as long as he didn't hurt her again. Although, Madison was kind of rooting for Peyton to be with Jake, or anyone except her dad, because a part of her hated her father for destroying their family the first time. She didn't tell anyone that, though. It was something she would have to deal with, but, as long as Peyton didn't take Lucas back, she was going to put off dealing with it.**

**The girls really enjoyed spending their last day in Tree Hill with their family, even if they had to start packing in the middle of their party. The men helped them get all their stuff packed into two different moving vans, because they each paid to have their stuff driven to their respective colleges. They each were going to be driving their own way across country, though Kerri would be getting to hers first, because she was so much closer. While they were packing their stuff, Peyton was in her bedroom, checking her email and opening the most recent gift from Lucas.**

**The song was 'Sorry' by Buckcherry, and Peyton let it play while she opened the small box. Some of the gifts had been bigger than others, but everything so far had been significant to a moment in their relationship. He had sent her some of the confetti that had rained down on them when they won the state championship one day, and he had sent her the red tee-shirt that he had been wearing when they had first spoen another day. Today's box was small, and she opened it to find a concert ticked to a Cure concert they never got to go to.**

**With a smile, she put the ticket onto her vanity mirror, taping in the corner, in between a picture of her and Brooke, and a picture of her kids. She leaned back in the chair she was sitting in and smiled as she remembered the time spent with Lucas on that day. It had been their last day before she went to L.A, and they were supposed to go to the concert, but they had lost one of the tickets on the drive there, and so they had ended up parking in a nearby parking lot and listening to the music on the ouside, sitting on her car. It had been the best concert she'd ever not gone to.**

**When the song ended, she played it again, revelling in the message and the time she got to spend alone, thinking fondly of her relationship with Lucas. She knew it wouldn't be long before someone noticed her absense, and she really loved that he was apologizing. He had never really done that since he had screwed up, and while she knew he was sorry for what he had done, it was nice to actually hear the sentiment, even if it was only through a song. Plus, she loved the band Buckcherry.**

**Just like she imagined, soon enough someone is knocking on her door, interrupting her alone time. She turns off the song and closes her email and then calls for the person to enter. Ainsley slips the door open and slips into the room. She closes the door behind her, after asking her mom for a minute, and then settles onto the bed. Peyton waits for her to get to whatever she wants to talk about. "Mom, I know what Dad did is pretty bad, but, can you please be honest with me? Do you still love him? Do you want to get back together with him?" she asked, leveling her mom with a look.**

**For a moment, Peyton wants to run away from this conversation, but then she remembers that she told her kids she would talk to them about anything, if they asked her, so she forced herself to stay where she was. She knew Ainsley, maybe more than any of her other kids, hated what their father had done to her, and she didn't want that, not at all. 'Listen, baby, no matter what happens between me and your dad, he will always be you dad, okay. You can't be mad at him for what happened, because you only get one father," she said, moving to the bed as well and placing her hand in her daughters.**

**That wasn't what her daughter was looking for and so Peyton took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Okay, yes, I still love him, and I always will, okay. I don't know how to stop that. That doesn't mean we will get back together and that doesn't mean we won't. You have to understand, your father is the man I've loved since high school. He's always been the guy to save me, the one to make me happy, and the one who fixed my heart when I was broken," she said, thinking off all Lucas had done for her.**

**It wasn't just about that, though, and they both knew that. She sighed, thinking. "I can't get him out of my head," she admitted, with a humorless laugh. "I still feel him in my heart, and I know my heart will never be mine to give away again, because it'll always be his. So it's pretty much, I get back together with him, or never truly love anyone else, ang right now, I don't know which one I would prefer. Love isn't always enough, and I have to decide whether or not it is in this case," she said.**

**Ainsley took this moment to interrupt. "How can you ever trust him again? He broke your heart. You still cry at night sometimes, and I know you don't want us to know that, but we do," she said, leaning over and comforting her mom. "On the other hand, though, you guys have us, so you'll always be linked, no matter what," she was mainly talking to herself, but then she looked into her mom's eyes. "It's not about us. It's not about what anyone else thinks you should do, or even what you think is right. What do you feel, in your heart, that will make you happy again?" she asked.**

**There was silence as she thought about this. This was a question she had asked herself many times, and she still didn't know the true answer. "I have gone back and forth. I've fallen apart, as you know," she nudged Ainsley's shoulder, "and I've been angry, really angry," she thought about when she had destroyed a bunch of pictures of him. "Some days I want him back, and some days I don't give a damn," she said, apology in her eyes for the harsh use of the word. "I've felt it all, baby, and I guess when I figure out the answer to that question, is when I'll know what I'm going to do," she finished.**

**The two leaned on each other for a while, before there was another knock on the door. Ainsley stood, and looked back at her mother. "Listen, I'm going to support you with whatever you do, because you're my mother, and I want you to be happy, and I can speak for every one of your kids when I say that, because we kind of had a meeting about this, and I was selected as the one to come talk to you," she confessed, opening the door to find Sophia standing there. She left the room, leaving her mother and best friend alone.**

* * *

**While Ainsley and Peyton had their mother/daughter talk, Seth was in the front yard with the guys, who were just finishing up loading up Madison and Kerri's stuff in the respective moving vans. He approached his father. "Hey, Dad, do you got a minute?" he asked his father, running his hand over the back of his neck in a nervous habit he had picked up from Lucas, his other hand shoved into the pocket of his blue jeans. Lucas was amazed at how much Seth looked like him in that moment as he nodded. "Can we go to the backyard?" he added, looking around at all the people.**

**Confused, and wondering what this was all about, Lucas nodded, and the followed his son through the house and to the backyard, where they sat on the back porch next to each other. It had been a long time since Lucas had sat on the back porch with one of his kids, on the cusp of having a talk, and he relished the feeling. "So, what's on your mind, son? You know you can talk to me about anything, right?" he asked, looking over at the blond, wondering if his kids really knew that. It was no secret most of them sided with Peyton.**

**Looking down at his hand, Seth took a moment to gather his thoughts. Ainsley had been elected to talk to their mother, see what she was feeling, and he had volunteered to talk to their father, to make sure his intentions were pure. "Listen, Dad, it's no secret that what you did to Mom was an asshole thing to do, and I know you're saying you wish you hadn't, but still, you did it. I guess I'm just kind of trying to figure out why," he said slowly, looking up at his father as he finished speaking.**

**Nodding, Lucas realized he should have known this was coming. He kind of wished that it would have just been a normal father/son conversation, about a girl, or a class or something, but he knew that he needed to have this talk. "Seth, I have always loved your mother, okay, and don't ever think I ever stopped. I never did, and I hope you, as well as her and all of your siblings know that. It's just, complicated, okay," he said, but even as he said that, he knew it was a cop out.**

**That wasn't right, and he continued before Seth could say something. "Your mother and I sacrificed our dreams for each other when we got married. She knew that was going to happen when I proposed in L.A, but she married me anyway, and maybe I should have listened to her. Maybe if I had listened to her then, and allowed things to stay the way they had been going, instead of forcing marriage onto her, then we would still be together now, and we wouldn't be having this conversation, but oh well, you can't worry about the what-if's, right?" he asked rhetorically.**

**Taking a deep breath, he delved into the heavy topics, knowing his son could take it. "Lately, meaning before the book deal, and affair, and everything, I guess I started feeling kind of resentful towards Peyton, becuase I never got to live my dream of becoming an author. So I sent my manuscript to the publishing company that had wanted to publish it the first time, hoping I would be as lucky the second time. I guess a part of me always felt that Peyton didn't support me in that decision, and that made me feel like she didn't believe in me," he cut himself off, realizing how he was sounding.**

**Just for confirmation, he looked over at Seth. "I'm not making excuses. There is nothing to excuse what I did, and no way to justify it. I guess I'm just telling you the reasons I felt I had," he said firmly, and Seth nodded. "Anyway, when I started editing with Lindsey, I felt that she did support me, and that, son, really does feel good, to have someone truly believe in you," he rubbed the back of his neck, like Seth had moments before. "It just happened, and then I knew I had to tell your mother, talk to her, but she kicked me out, with good reason," he trailed off, not wanting to get into details.**

**The pair stayed silent as Seth swallowed this information. "For the record, Dad, I don't condone what you did, or the pain you caused Mom, but I guess I can see it from your side a little better now," he said, sending his dad a smile, which Lucas returned. "Still, I understand it, but if Mom decides she doesn't want to be with you, I'll surpport her, because, while you'll always be my dad, I'm on her side in this," he said, finished with the conversation, but his mind now on some other issue.**

**Able to tell taht something was still up with his son, but unsure whether or not Seth would want to talk about it with him, he stayed seated on the porch, trying to figure out what to say. "Hey, son?" he asked, and Seth looked up. "If you have anything you need to talk about with me, I am still your dad, and I do know a thing or two about being in high school, even if I was in high school a long time ago," he joked, but there was a serious undertone to his comment that he meant. He wanted his sons to talk to him.**

**After a moment of hesitation, Seth decided it was okay to talk to his dad about this. "Okay, so I kind of have a girl problem, which I know you know a lot about," the jab was more teasing than anything, which Lucas was glad for. "I like this girl, who is admittedly, a little younger, but that's not the real problem. The problem is she's a close friend of one of my sisters, and she actually had a thing with one of my brothers. It was only a fling with them, but I don't know if he would be okay with me asking her out. I don't even know if she's interested in my like that," he admittted.**

**Lucas thought a moment, figuring easily who the girl was. "First of all, you're talking about Sophia, right?" he asked, and Seth looked surprised that Lucas had figured it out. "Well, for one, Sophia and Ainsley have been best friends for years, so there's the close relationship with your sister, and I also know that she had a fling with Ryan at the start of the summer," he said, and Seth was even more surprised that Lucas had known that. "Hey, the adults like to gossip, especially about what our kids get up to," he said, with a laugh.**

**Seth laughed too, but then waited for Lucas to continue. He wanted to hear what else his dad really had to say on the subject. "In all seriousness, tell Ryan how you feel first, and ask him how he feels about it. Then, if he gives the go-ahead, tell Sophia how you feel, but make sure you talk to Ryan first. I know a lot about fighting with brothers as well, and if you go behind his back and go out with her, it'll only cause problems you don't want to deal with," he said, remembering the times he and Nathan had fought.**

**A moment of consideration later, Seth nodded, and then did something that surprised both father and son. He gave his father a hug. "I do love you, Dad, even if you do screw up," he smirked the famous Scott smirk at his dad, and then stood. "I guess I'm going to talk to Ryan, then," he added before heading into the house to find his brother. Lucas watched him go, and he was really glad that he had gotten a chance to have a father/son moment in his son's life. It had been too long since the last one.**

* * *

**As Ainsley left Peyton's room, Sophia stood in the doorway, looking nervous. Peyton gestured for her to enter the rest of the way and close the door. Sophia did, and she slowly approached the bed, and hesitantly perched on the edge next to Peyton. Peyton was curious as to why she was so nervous. Sophia had never been nervous to talk to her before. "Hey, Soph, I'm your Godmother, remember, you can talk to me about anything. There's nothing you can't say to me," she assured the teenager.**

**Taking a deep breath, Sophia nodded. "Yeah, I know that, Aunt Peyton," she said, but it took her another moment before she relazed and got more comfortable on the bed. "Okay, I'm just going to tell you, because I need advice, and I don't feel right going to my mom, and I've always been able to talk to you about anything," she said, pausing again, before just blurting it out. "I think I like your son," she said quickly, and Peyton became confused, because, last she had heard, Sophia had been the one to end things with Ryan, not that Ryan had put up much of a fight. "No, not Ryan. Seth," she clarified.**

**This made more sense. At least, it made more sense why Sophia was so nervous. Sophia took another slow breath in and out before explaining more fully. "I've liked Seth for a while, actually, but I knew Ainsley wouldn't want me dating her brother. So I started that fling with Ryan, knowing it wouldn't go anywhere, and hoping that it would help me get over the feelings I've been developing for Seth. I know, that was wrong, but I kind of explained to Ryan when I boke up with him, and he said he understood," she said, because Peyton had been about to interrupt.**

**Nodding, Peyton waited for Sophia to go on. "Anyway, it didn't work. I still have feelings for Seth, and I'm pretty sure he'll never return my feelings, but I'm tired of not knowing, you know, and I'm tired of him not knowing, and Ainsley. I know she's going to hate me for it. She flipped out when I started that fling with Ryan, but you can't help who you like, can you?" she asked, sending her aunt a look, because she knew that Peyton still liked Lucas, even if she didn't want to.**

**Of course Peyton knew exactly what Sophia was talking about, and not just because of recent events, either. She had never been able to help feeling what she did for Lucas, and she had wanted to, ever since high school. "No, you're right. You can't help who you like. I couldn't help who I liked back in high school, and I still can't help it. So, I'm going to tell you this. Go talk to Ainsley, tell her everything you told me, and if she's really your best friend, she'll let you tell Seth how you feel," she suggested. "Hey, at least you know you won't be repeating history. It's not like she can like Seth and/or go after him," she couldn't help but add with a grin.**

**The joke went over Sophia's head and she crinkled her nose as she thought about that, then sent her aunt an 'You must be crazy,' look. She reached over and patted Peyton's leg. "Well, you are right about that," she said slowly, as if she were trying to placate a crazy person. Then she leaned over and hugged Peyton. "Thanks, Aunt Peyton, for your great, albeit a little weird, advice. I guess I better go find Ainsley now," she said as she stood and headed for the door, closing it behind her and leaving Peyton alone in the room again.**

* * *

**Once the moving vans had left, the twins took their time saying goodbye to their families, hugging everyone, lingering on their mom, and sharing tears with her, while telling her not to worry. They even each gave their dad a hug, and let him hold them for a minute. He was also sad about his babies leaving the nest. After they had said goodbye to everyone else, they took a few minutes to say goodby to each other. By then they were both in tears, and they got in their cars to drive away.**

**Standing in between Jake and Brooke, Peyton had one arm around each of them, as she tried to control her own tears. Brooke rubbed her back comfortingly, and Jake let her rest her head on his shoulder. Then they both muttered some kind of excuse, and walked away, and Peyton looked up to see Lucas approaching. She wanted to turn around and walk away, but he opened his arms, and she couldn't help but lean into them, letting him hug her. She really needed a good Lucas hug, no matter what she was feeling towards him right now.**

**With one hand on the back of her head, and the other arm wrapped around her back, Lucas held Peyton as she fought to stop crying. He kissed her curls and whispered comforting words to her, the type of soothing nonsense that one uses to make someone feel better. She pulled away and looked up at him, and he wiped her tears. "Peyton, it's their time to live their lives. That doesn't mean they're abondoning you, or they won't need you. They love you. It's just time for them to leave the nest. It's time for us to let them go," he said, staring in her eyes. "I love you," he suddenly added.**

_**FLASHBACK**_

_**Jeke and Peyton are sitting on her couch, watching a movie, because she wanted to avoid what had been on her mind since the day Haley had gone into labor. He knew what she wanted to avoid, but he couldn't allow her to do it anymore. "Listen, I know we talked a couple days ago at Tric, but you were pretty drunk, so I'm assuming you either don't remember the conversation, or you still haven't decided what to do about Lucas," he said, taking the remote and pausing the movie.**_

_**Partially to avoid the topic, and partially just because she wanted to know, Peyton changed the subject. "Why are you here, Jake?" she asked, and he opened his mouth to give the reason he had been stating since he'd arrived. "No, I want the real reason. I know you didn't just come because Jenny's in college now and you wanted to get back to your roots. Tell me honestly. Why are you here? Is it because you want to get me back? Are you still in love with me?" she asked, because it had been on her mind since he had said those words at Tris. "'It's hard losing you.'**_

_**Heaving a deep sigh, Jake closed his mouth again. He wasn't sure what to say to her, and she could tell. "Peyton, it doesn't matter how I feel, because I know you're completely in love with Lucas, and you always will be. Sure, I waited for you to come back, but you never did, and I know it was the right thing, just like the right thing for you now is to be with Lucas again. I'm here to be your friend. I'm here because Brooke called me not too long ago, and told me about your problems, and I realized I wanted to be here for you," he said, reaching out to tuck a curl behind her ear.**_

_**For a moment, she just held his gaze, trying to decide what to believe. Then he opened his mouth again, and she knew that he was going to go back to the previous topic, so she cut him off. "I know I love him, and he loves me, sure, but what if love isn't enough, Jake? I mean I don't know if I can trust him again, with my heart. I loved him so much, I would have done anything for him, and it wasn't enough then. Why should I believe it could be enough now?" she asked, voicing her real fears.**_

_**To her surprise, Jake had a response ready. "You guys went through a hard time, but you're Lucas and Peyton. It was always destined that you would be together. Don't give up on that now. If you don't know if you're ready to trust him again, then take it slowly, I'm sure he won't mind. He'd do anything for you-"**_

_**With a loud snort, Peyton cut him off. "Oh, yeah, he'd do anything for me. You mean like cheating on me, and not fighting for me what I kicked him out of the house. Or, what about when he moved in with another woman, or got her pregnant with his child? Yeah, those things were really for me, Jake," she snarked, then felt bad for snapping at him. "I'm sorry, I just, I don't know what to do. I don't want to love him anymore, I just, I can't help it," she said, burying her face into her hands.**_

_**Unperturbed by her abrupt change of moods, Jake just rubbed her back comfortingly. "It's okay, Peyton, and it's that right there why you can't give up on him. You love him, no matter how much you want to hate him, you love him. Love is enough, okay. Just try starting over with him, if you don't want to rush things. He gave up a book deal for you, when you guys first got married. You both sacrificed a lot, maybe more than you should have, but now you've both reached for your dreams, and maybe now you're ready to be a couple again, and this time you'll be stronger than before," he told her.**_

_**After taking a moment to think about what Jake had said, Peyton picked up the remote again. "As nice a sentiment as that was, I'd really like to finish the movie," she said, about to turn back towards the screen, but something stopped her. "Thank you, Jake, and thanks for being my friend," she said, smiling at him. Then she tucked her legs beneath her on the couch, leaning over and resting her head on Jake's chest as she pushed play again on the remote. Jake tensed for a moment, but then relaxed beneath her, putting his arm on the back of the couch behind her.**_

_**END FLASHBACK**_

**Upon hearing those three words coming from Lucas, Peyton's anger suddenly flared up and she stepped back further, completetly out of his reach. She remembered the conversation she had with Jake, but there were things-feelings-she needed to bring up with Lucas before they could be anything again. "I don't want you saying that to me," she said, shaking her head at him, wrapping her arms around hersef. "You can't mean it, not after what you did, and I don't want to hear it, because it doesn't help me," she continued.**

**Now the adults were trying to usher the children and teenagers inside, because they knew a long-awaited, much-needed confrontation was going to happen between Lucas and Peyton, and the younger ones didn't need to witness it. Peyton was passed noticing who was around, though. "I loved you, Lucas, so much, and you threw it away for someone else. I used to feel so close to you, now I don't know what was real and what wasn't. What happened, Lucas, did you change your mind? Well, I didn't. At least, I didn't before," she cut herself off for a moment, trying to control her emotions.**

**The tears still managed to slip down her cheeks as she looked back up at him, tears making her green eyes glisten. "I gave you everything I had, and it wasn't enough, and I just need to know why, Lucas. I mean, you broke my heart, the least you can do is tell me why. What did she have that I don't? Did you feel like you could talk to her? We used to talk about anything, but towards the end, we barely talked at all. And I have to admit, stupid me, I still didn't see this coming. So, can you just tell me, what did I do wrong, so I don't make the same mistake twice," she waited for a response.**

**It took everything Lucas had in him not to take her in his arms, and confess the whole truth. He had allowed her to believe what she did because he figured then she wouldn't be able to blame herself, yet she was still blaming herself. He hated himself for causing her the pain in her eyes, and wished he could lessen it, even a little bit, but he still couldn't tell her all of the truth, not without hurting her even more. "I'm so sorry, Peyton. It wasn't your fault, you have to believe me. It was nothing you did. I know you loved me, and I still did what I did. I was stupid, and I threw away the best thing that ever happened to me, but you can't blame yourself," he said, holding his hands in his pockets so he didn't reach out to her, because he knew she wouldn't receive it well.**

**Nodding slowly, Peyton turned to leave, done with the conversation. She just wanted all of it to go away. She really wanted to just be with Lucas again, but she didn't know if she had it in her. She glanced back at him, giving him one last chance to do anything, say anything that could make a difference. She wasn't sure what it was she wanted him to say, but she gave him a moment to say it. He didn't open his mouth, though, so she had to sadly turn away, heading back into her house.**

**Just as she turned away, he decided to take the advice someone had given him. He was going to give it one last fighting chance, and then, if she still turned him down, he was going to let her go. "Peyton, wait," he said, and she slowly turned to face him again. "I love you with all my heart, I've never stopped loving you, and I never will. I forgot that for a time, and I want to spend the rest of my life making that up to you. Will you please, please, just consider going on a date with me. We can start over, and maybe I'll get it right this time," he proposed.**

**Hesitant, Peyton just didn't know what to say. She once again remembered Jake's words, but it was different now. Yes, he had suggested she and Lucas just start over, but would that really change anything? She didn't want to try again and fail, and a part of her was tempted to just walk away and not look back at Lucas and his offer, but she knew that was the scorned side. Her heart told her to accept this second chance for them, because everyone deserves a second chance, but she wasn't sure she had the guts to.**

**As the silence stretched on, Lucas decided it was going to take a little more than that, and if she really wanted a romantic speech, he would give it to her, if it would get her back. "Peyton, I can still remember what you wore that first day we talked by the river," he started, and she finally met his gaze,. "You were all tortured artist that day. You were all punk-rocker chick with your black Ramones concert tee, and leather jacket, and, of course, your standard black converse, and I remember thinking how sexy your chickeny legs looking in those tight dark jeans," he paused, as if picturing her in his head.**

**Then he grew serious again, and looked back into her eyes. "More than that, though, I remember thinking, 'Hey, even though she's being a bitch today, this amazing woman is talking to me, and maybe one day, we'll be able to look back on this story and laugh as we tell our children about it.' Every word you said to me still rings in my head, and I can still remember the way you took my breath away, because you still take my breath away every time you look at me with those striking green eyes of yours," he paused, reaching over to wipe away the tears that still lingered on her cheeks.**

**Surprising the both of them, she didn't back away. She was mesmerized by his words. "I'm so stupid for not realizing it sooner, but it's true, Peyton, I can't live without you, and I'd like to think it's not so easy for you to live without me. We have so much time to figure out the rest of it. We can take things one step at a time, because I know we're meant to be, and in the end, nothing is going to change that. With us, Peyton, two really is better than one, and it always will be," he said confidently, taking another baby step closer to her.**

**Peyton still doesn't know what to say, or do, and it'd okay, because Lucas will go on for as long as necessary. "I know every look you have, from sarcastic, to blissed out happy. I know the way you roll your eyes when I compliment you, because you think you don't deserve it, and I can still remember the way you taste. Peyton, you take my breath away with one touch. You make my heart race, still. When I'm sitting around, thinking about all I've lost, all I have to do is close my eyes, and picture you, and I know we'll be together again one day, and that makes everything okay," he puts his hand on her cheek.**

**Letting her eyes drift closed, Peyton allows herself to be lost in the moment because, honestly, the words he's saying right now are pretty good. "You and me, Peyton, True Love Always. That's what we have, and I know no matter what we go through, or what happens, or how many guys you date while we're apart, none of it matters, because it's you, Peyton. It was you when we were in high school, and it's still you. Every book signing I went to this summer, I wanted it to be you that was next to me, and I know for the next book, if there's a next book, I'll want you then, too. You're my dream come true," he paused, as if realizing something.**

**Her eyes stayed closed as he took another step closed, brushing her hair out of her face and running his fingers through her curls. "I have a dream, Peyton, when I'm sleeping. In this dream, I go back to the first time I slept with Lindsey, and every time, every time Peyton, I come home to you, and we make up, and I never cheat on you, and we're happy. That's my dream, and I know I can't change the past, but if I could I would take that day back, every single time," he confessed. "That's my dream," he repeated.**

**That snaps her out of her dream-like state. "That's just a dream, Lucas, because you're right, you can't change the past, and you'll never be able to," she said, taking a step back again. She was with him, until he brought up Lindsey, because, no matter what he said now, he had still cheated on her. He had carried on an affair with another woman, even if he didn't want to be with that woman anymore, that didn't mean he could just come back to her and she would just accept him with open arms. "Sorry," she said, because she really was, and she turned away again.**

**It was then she realized that Haley, Nathan, Brooke and Jake were on the porch. She had assumed they had gone inside with everyone else. They were far enough away though, that they couldn't hear what Peyton and Lucas had said, at least, not when they weren't yelling. She brushed by Brooke and Jake, who tried to stop her, and went inside, slamming the door behind her. Haley watched Peyton disappear into the house, and then she looked at her best friend, who's heart was breaking all over again.**

**A/N: **_This is one of the longest chapters I think I've written, in a long time. I hope y'all enjoy it. Thanks for the reviews for last chapter. I hope you liked this. There was Leyton interaction, and even if it wasn't good, I promise it'll lead to something good later. The next chapter will be done with a lot of flashbacks, looking at things through Lucas's eyes. The truth will finally be revealed. I have a big surprise planned, and I hope y'all will enjoy it. Review this chapter, and I'll get it up even quicker._

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own anything involved in One Tree Hill._


	13. Cheatin'

All of this drama between her best friend and his wife was really getting old. Haley was tired of Lucas working to win Peyton's affections, only to be shut down, making both of them unhappy. She had initially promised herself that she wouldn't get involved, because it was between Lucas and Peyton, but there were things that Lucas obviously wasn't telling Peyton, so she had to be the one to tell Peyton the whole truth, because if there was one thing that Peyton deserved, it was the truth.

So she headed over to Peyton after Peyton had turned Lucas down. She knew that Peyton had gone for one of the twins bedrooms, because they had left so recently, so that was where she sought out the blonde. It turned out she was right, and she found Peyton in Kerri's room. She entered slowly and sat on the bed next to Peyton, who was sitting with her back against the headboard, clutching the teddy bear that Kerri had slept with for so many years tight to her chest. "Peyton, I think it's about time you learn the whole truth. Beginning with how it all started," she said before delving into her memories.

_FLASHBACK_

_Lately it had become a regular thing to find Lucas at her house after practice. She wasn't sure when he had started spending more time at her house than his own, but her best guess was it had started gradually when he had sent his book back in to all the publishing houses. She could still remember the night he had come over to tell them that he had resubmitted his book so it could be edited, and that he and Peyton had gotten into a tiff over it. Her opinion of that first fight was that Peyton had been shocked, and Lucas had overexaggerated, but the fighting between them had continued since, which had resulted in him spending more time at her house._

_Still, she could tell something was different about tonight. She had a feeling it was another fight, but she also believed it was probably worse in some way. So she sat him down on the couch to make her best friend talk to her. "An editor picked up my book today. It's going to get published," he said, staring off into space in a way that told her that wasn't the real news. She held her congratulations as she waited for him to continue. "It was the same editor who wanted to publish it last time. Lindsey," he said, still not looking at his best friend, or even smiling._

_Gently, Haley asked him to tell her what was bothering him, because she knew something was. He should be happy because of the news he had just told her. "When I told Peyton, I could tell she got a little jealous over the idea of a woman as my editor. It seemed like something else was bothering her, though, so I asked her what the matter was. She then asked me if I was going to have time to edit a book and still coach. She asked what I was going to do about touring for the book. Innocent questions, I know, but something about them," he paused, remembering the fight that had happened after._

_Avoiding Haley's gaze, he continued only after she gently asked him to keep going. "I didn't tell her this, but it feels like she's not being supportive of me. I'd support her in anything she wanted to do, and it just feel like she isn't 100% behind me with the whole book thing. We're supposed to be there for each other and I just feel like she doesn't believe in me," he stopped, realizing how much like a woman he sounded. He shook his head and finally looked at Haley with hollow, hurt-filled eyes. "Nevermind, it's nothing," he faked a smile and then got up, going to the backyard where Nathan and the kids were gathered._

_END FLASHBACK_

After that, he had never mentioned it again, but Haley could always tell every fight tore him apart a little more, and made him feel worse. "He felt like you weren't supporting him, Peyt, and, even more than that, that you didn't believe in him. You know, all he ever wanted was for you to be completely happy for him that his dream was finally coming true. He loved you, and you were always his number one dream, but he wanted his work out there, to be appreciated, and he always wanted your approval," Haley said, watching Peyton for reactions.

The blonde was good at keeping her emotions off of her face, but she saw the hurt in Peyton's eyes at the fact that she had hurt Lucas so. It was then that Haley realized that believing in Lucas had never been a problem of Peyton's. "It wasn't that I didn't support him, Haley, and you've got to believe me," she said. "I was just scared, I think, because even then, I was worried that he was publishing the book because I wasn't enough for him. It was my insecurities and stupidity that caused all this," she buried her face in her hands to hide her devastation.

Even though Peyton was trying to hide her emotions, Haley could still sense them and knew that her blonde friend was now blaming herself for the destruction of her marriage. She knew that it wasn't completely Peyton's fault, though. It wasn't like she had asked Lucas to cheat on her. "Don't do this, Peyton. Don't blame yourself. You didn't force him to cheat, he made that decision all on his own. You didn't want this," she said before delving into the next memory.

_FLASHBACK_

_Entering her quiet house, Haley was surprised that no one was home, then she remembered where everyone was. Nathan had taken the boys overnight to a basketball game in Charlotte, and they had taken Brianna with them, giving Haley some time to relax in a quiet house. She had purposefully declined what could have been a whole family trip so she could stay home alone to de-stress, and because she had been feeling sick a lot lately. She was going to head upstairs to take a bath, and a pregnancy test-unbeknownst to Nathan-but she had to pass through the living room first._

_The form on the couch made her jump, until she realized it was Lucas sitting in her darkened living room-because she had stayed late at school, grading papers, and it was already dark outside-with the stench of alcohol so strong that she could smell it even in the doorway. She slowly walked around the couch, and it was the fact that he didn't even flinch at her appearance that told her how upset he was. Well, that, and the alcohol. She didn't have any in the house, so she knew he had to have been drinking quite a bit for him to give off so strong an odor of it._

_Taking the empty bottle of vodka from his hand, she waited for a moment before speaking. "Lucas, how much have you had to drink? What happened? Is it Peyton, or one of the kids? Are they hurt? Was it Nathan or one of my kids? Lucas, you have to tell me what's wrong," she said, her questions coming in quick succession as she considered all the horrible possibilities, as mothers often do. He didn't move for a moment, and that frightened her. She took his jaw and forced him to look at her, hating the sight of his bloodshot eyes. "What happened?" she asked firmly._

_Shaking his head out of her grasp, he finally admitted what had been plaguing him ever since it had happened. "I cheated on my wife, Haley. I slept with my editor," his voice was hollow, and there was a pain in it that the alcohol couldn't comfort or hide. She took him in her arms, cradling him as she would one of her kids, as his shoulders began to shake with the dry-sobs of someone truly horrified with oneself. "I never meant for it to come to this. I feel so horrible, like I betrayed my kids, and my wife. Especially my wife. How did this happen?" his voice cracked, but despite the amount of alcohol she knew he'd ingested, he didn't slur his words._

_For a moment, Haley didn't know what to say. She was quite horrified herself. Her best friend, the guy she'd known since she was eight, had just cheated on his wife? There had to be some explanation, because this just didn't make sense. He had cheated on Brooke with Peyton, yes, but he had never, nor would he ever-at least, that had been Haley's opinion, before now-cheat on Peyton, because he loved her more than anything. He wouldn't do that to his kids either, not the Lucas Scott she knew._

_Then again, Lucas had not been the man she'd seen him grow up into in a long time. Lately, before he started editing his book, he had turned bitter, hating himself for letting his dream die, and maybe some of that bitterness had turned into resentment towards Peyton, which might explain what had happened. Still, she would give her best friend the benefit of the doubt, and listen to what he had to say before judging him. "Tell me what happened, Lucas," she said softly, still holding on to him._

_It took him a moment to gather his thoughts, and she almost thought he passed out, but then he pulled back and started speaking, staring at the empty vodka bottle she had set on the table. "Tonight we finished editing the first half of the book. Lindsey thought it was a cause for celebration and she brought out some champagne, but my first instinct was to call Peyton," he paused, his eyes fluttering closed as he remembered the phone call. Haley had to wait as patiently for him to go on._

_Another moment passed, and she had to really resist the urge to ask him to continue, but his eyes opened again as his mouth did. "The phone call ended in another fight, and so I decided a couple of drinks with Lindsey couldn't hurt. Really, I couldn't have cared less if she was there or not, but she supported me completely, so I took her with me to the bar. I drank a lot," he admitted, and Haley could believe that. She had personally never seen him this drunk before. She didn't even know if he had ever been this drunk before._

_Not noticing her nod of agreement, and the way she crinkled her nose at his stench, Lucas went on. "Lindsey was there, and, like I said, she supported me, not to mention all the alcohol in my system. Plus, she's always liked me, though I've done my best to ignore it before tonight, and I've always felt a sense of attraction to her to," he admitted, looking like he hated himself for it. "Anyway, when she asked me back to her hotel room, we were both so drunk, that I said yes," his voice trailed off and a fresh round of dry sobs came up, until he started barfing._

_Immediately running to the bathroom, he emptied his stomach of some of its contents into the toilet. Following in his wake, Haley stopped at the linen closet and pulled a rag out before making her way to the bathroom. She got it wet with some warm water from the sink and knelt by his side, rubbing it on the back of his neck, and then giving it to him to wipe his face when he finished with the vomiting. Then he leaned against the bathroom wall and tried to ignore the pounding that was now going on in his brain._

_Haley wanted to tell him he didn't have to continue right now, but he did before she could. "When we got to the hotel room, she gave me more alcohol, and after that, I just blacked out. I don't know if it's because I don't want to remember, or I just had too much to drink, but the next thing I remember, Lindsey and I were lying in the bed together. I left, and went back to the bar, but I couldn't go in, so I bought the bottle of vodka and came back here, where I've been sitting on your couch ever since. I've ruined my marriage, Hales. I don't deserve my wife, or my kids, or anything. There is no coming back from this," he said, finally looking directly at her._

_Scooting over to sit next to him, Haley wrapped her arm around his shoulders. She didn't hesitate to answer, because she knew he needed that. "Listen, Lucas, what you did was bad, there's no way to sugar coat that, but there is redemption for you, if you ask for it. Peyton can forgive you, if you ask her to, and you can forgive youself, in time. You're not a bad person, I know that. You just happen to have lost the person you used to be. Find him again Lucas, and, until then, I'll be by your side," she said, because she knew that was what he needed to hear._

_It may have been what he needed to hear, but he wasn't going to listen to it. He shook his head firmly. "No, Peyton can't know about this, because, with the way we've been lately, it'll be the end of everything. I can't tell her, and you can't either. I have to put this behind me, finish my book, and then never speak to Lindsey again," he said, more afraid that he might be developing feelings for Lindsey than anything, but he wouldn't be telling Haley that any time soon, because that would mean admitting it._

_Before Haley could protest, Lucas starting vomiting again, and not long after that he passed out. Haley set him up in the guest room, and then went to her own room. So much for a relaxing bath, or even just relaxing. She felt more stressed now than ever, and she didn't know what to do. Did she stand by her best friend or tell his wife, who was also her good friend, the truth? Well, her loyalty lay with Lucas first, but that didn't mean she had to support his decision. He had to tell Peyton, and she would convince him of that. Somehow._

_END FLASHBACK_

With a sigh, she looked at Peyton, who was about to interrupt. "I waited a couple days, then asked if he'd told you yet. He told me he wasn't going to. He could barely remember that night, and he wanted to pretend it didn't happen, in the hopes that it really wouldn't have happened. He needed to do that for you, and so he could keep working with Lindsey, though he kept his relationship with her purely platonic after that. He never wanted her, Peyton, he just wanted the support he thought she offered," Haley said, leaning over to grasp Peyton's hand.

This was almost making Peyton feel better, but Haley wasn't done yet. "When he found out she was pregnant, that was when he knew he couldn't make this go away, that he would have to face it no matter what. He told me," she paused, and then decided to just delve into the next memory, instead of trying to paraphrase Lucas's words. "Well, I guess I'll just tell you the whole thing," she said, trying to offer a helpful smile, but knowing it ended up more like a grimace.

_FLASHBACK_

_Once again, Lucas was at her house, drunk. Haley was beginning to wonder if he was going to make a habit of it, but then, it seemed he already had. She wished that this bad habit had never startted, but she heaved a sigh and sat next to him on her back porch swing anyway, because he was her best friend and she was going to be there for him. He spoke before she could. "Well, I have good news and bad news, what do you want to hear first?" he asked drunkenly, and she took the beer bottle from his hand and set it down on the floor where he couldn't reach it._

_For a moment, Lucas opened his mouth to protest, but then he seemed to think it over, and he closed his mouth again. "My book is finally finished being edited. Lindsey left it in the office, with a note on it, today," he paused, shaking his head thoughtfully. "The note said she's pregnant," he said, grabbing another beer from the six-pack he had sitting at his feet, which she hadn't noticed. "This is all my fault, I know, but I thought that with my book finally ready for print, I would be able to get things back to normal with me and Peyton again," he added bitterly as he popped the cap._

_Instead of immediately responding, she grabbed the beer from him before he could move it to his lips. "Hey, I know I talked to you about this before, and last time it turned out I wasn't pregnant, but I am still trying, and I won't bring a baby into the world with a drunken uncle. You're better than that, Lucas Scott," she said, meaning more than just the drinking habit he had picked up. He started to protest, but she cut him off. "Just because you've made mistakes, doesn't mean you can't right them. You have a good heart, Lucas," she said, "and I mean that figuratively, considering the HCM," she added._

_The teasing didn't affect him. He held his face in his hands and cried. "I wish I could go back, Haley, more than anything, I wish that. I don't want to be with Lindsey, or this baby, but I won't be Dan," he paused. "Peyton's going to hate me, and she should. I want her to. That's why I can never tell her the real truth. I don't deserve her forgiveness, and, given the kind heart she has, she'll give it if she knows the truth. If she kicks me out, Haley, can I stay here?" he asked, looking over at his best friend._

_END FLASHBACK_

Peyton interrupted, saying she knew about Lucas's love nest with Lindsey, indicating that she thought Haley was lying. "Hey, Peyton, I swear to you, I am being completely honest. Yes, he rented the apartment, but most of the time, except during his weekends with the kids, it was lived in only by Lindsey. He wanted you to think he stayed with her because he knew it would make it easier for you to hate him, but he stayed here when he didn't have the kids. I let him in through the back door every night, and he slept in the guest room. None of the kids knew. No one knew but me, really," she said, honestly.

Taking a moment to study her good friend, Peyton finally seemed to decide that Haley was telling the truth. "I would have forgiven him, if he had been hoenst. We could have been together now. After all the lies, though, I don't know. Especially not since he did sleep with her, whether he remembers it or not," she noticed the guilty look on Haley's face. "Don't tell me he didn't actually sleep with her. Why would he keep this from me? Why all the lies?" she asked, in disbelief.

_FLASHBACK_

_Ever since Lucas had signed the divorce papers, he had been depressed, and Haley didn't know what to do for her best friend. She kept on telling him to just tell Peyton the truth, but he kept insisting that it was better for Peyton this way. Haley had to keep herself from getting involved. Lucas had kept off the bottle though, ever since she had told him she was pregnant again, and he had told her that he would be better, for his youngest neice or nephew. Which was why she was surprised to find him sitting on her couch with a beer in hand._

_Disappointed, she smacked him in the back of the head and, when he was distracted, grabbed the beer from him. He looked up at her, and the despair on his face almost made her give it back. Almost. She sat down on the couch next to him instead. "Lindsey drugged me. She roofied my drink when we made it back to the hotel. I passed out before we did anything, and she's not pregnant with my baby. She never was, because, for one, we never slept together, and for two, she hasn't actually been pregnant for a few months now," he admitted._

_Shocked, Haley sank back into the couch, almost tempted to tip the bottle back herself, but the thought of her baby stopped her, and she set the bottle down on the coffee table instead. Then she turned to her best friend and pulled him into a hug. She hugged him for a long time, and then pulled back and asked for the full story. "Well, it started like this. Apparantly, Lindsey fell in love with me when she read my book the first time, and she always wondered what would have happened," he began the story._

_As Lucas spoke, he eyed the bottle on the table. "When I sent the manuscript back in, she figured it was fate, and spent the whole time trying to seduce me, while I thought she was being a friend. When she finally managed to get me drunk, I still didn't want her, so she drugged me, but she couldn't take advantage of me, or so she said, but that didn't mean she couldn't let me think we had slept together. She had a one-night stand, and then figured out she was pregnant. She figured this was the one way she could have me, even if the baby was in no way mine," he added bitterly._

_It appalled Haley how low this woman would sink to get a man who was obviously in love with another woman. "A couple months later, she miscarried, and she knew I would cease to have any contact with her if I knew. So she pretended to still be pregnant, hoping that with enough time, I would fall in love with her. I didn't, and she realized that, and today she decided to tell me the whole truth, because she said she couldn't live the lies anymore," he finished finally, desperately wanting to take a drink, but holding back._

_Eying the bottle herself, and then looking at her best friend, Haley pushed the bottle towards him. "Okay, you can have it, but this is the last. You definitely deserve it after this," she teased, only half-joking. He declined, much to her surprise. "Look, Lucas, this is great, isn't it? Now you can be done with Lindsey for good, and get Peyton back. You didn't cheat on her, and you don't have another child. Be honest with her, finally, and you guys can get back together," she said earnestly._

_Shaking his head, Lucas reached up and rubbed the back of his neck. "No, Hales, I'm in too deep with my web of lies. I can't tell her the complete truth now, but I can tell her that there isn't a baby, and there hasn't been for a while, and I'm going to try to win her back. I need Peyton. I'm miserable without her, and our kids, and I don't want to live without them anymore. I don't think I can. I'll win her back, someway," he said, determination burning in his eyes._

_END FLASHBACK_

Shaking her own head, Peyton could not believe this, but a part of her could. She knew that Lucas had been trying to protect her. He knew it would hurt her worse to know that this had been more her fault than she would like to admit, and that all of this happened for nothing. So he did what he thought would protect her, and he tried to get her back anyway. "I don't want to believe this, but it sounds so ridiculous, it has to be real," she sighed, pausing. "I wish he would have just been honest with me in the beginning," she admitted.

Nodding in agreement, Haley put her arm around her friend's shoulder. "I felt so bad for not telling you the truth, every day I wanted to tell you, but it was Lucas's truth to tell. It wasn't my place. I didn't even tell Nathan, because I knew he would tell you the truth for sure, after beating Lucas's ass even more. I told him the whole time to tell you, but I think part of him was scared you still wouldn't want him. I can tell you this, though, every single day, he's never stopped loving you," the brunette said.

Leaning her head on Haley's shoulder, she took all of this in. She didn't know what to think anymore. Everything she had believe, every reason she had for the divorce, and not getting back together with Lucas, had just been thrown out of the window. She did have one question that she couldn't get out of her mind, though. "Hales," she asked, looking up at her friend. Haley waited for whatever Peyton had to say. "Why did you tell me now? I mean, I get why you didn't tell me throughout this whole time, so why now?" she asked.

After a moment of thinking over the answer, Haley just shrugged. "I'm tired of seeing the two of you hurting, and you deserve the truth, Peyton, and both of you deserve to be together. I just didn't want this dance between the two of you to go on anymore," she answered, not entirely sure that was the right answer, but that was all she could come up with. Peyton thought about it, then she seemed to accept that answer. She leaned over and hugged Haley, whispered a thanks in her ear, and then left the room, knowing what she needed to do.

**A/N: **_So this was my flashback chapter and I hope y'all understand everything now. It's not really confusing to me, but I know a writer's mind is different than the readers in regards to a specific fiction. So, let me know if you have any questions, and I will do my best to answer them._

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own anything._


	14. Two Is Better Than One

After a quick search of the house, Peyton realized that Lucas had already left. She sat on the couch as she tried to decide what her next move would be. She needed to talk to him, but she really wanted to sort through everything that Haley had told her. It was a lot to take in. Everything she had believed for the past year, almost, was wrong. In fact, her husband had never cheated on her at all, but he had lied to her, and he had allowed them to get divorced.

Granted, he had believed he had cheated on her, and he had told her he had had an affair because he had thought that would make her hate him more, and therefore, it would hopefully hurt her less. She could see why he did it, but she wondered why he hadn't told her the truth when he found out. It could have saved them a lot of trouble. She decided that they had spent enough time apart because of this whole ordeal. It was time to work on getting back together again.

With that thought, she left the house, and went to find him. She finally found him at the Rivercourt, which wasn't that surprising. What was surprising was the face that Martin, Ryan and Seth were with him, and so were Nathan, Robert and William. Seth was sitting out, commentating on the game, while Lucas and his boys played against Nathan and his boys. Peyton sat in her car for a minute and just watched the game. This was how it always used to be, and she was glad that they had finally gotten back to that.

That made her pause, though. Would the boys still feel the same towards their father if she got back together with him? What if they got back together and then broke up again? She realized she was once again trying to use her kids to keep Lucas at a distance. She didn't want to do that anymore. She wanted to work on her relationship with Lucas because she needed to do it, for herself, and she knew her kids would support her. At least, she hoped they would.

Getting out of the car, she closed the door, and finally made her presence known. The game paused, with the ball in Lucas's hands as everyone looked at Peyton. She walked onto the court, straight up to Lucas, after sending Nathan a reassuring smile. "Can we talk?" she asked the blond. She had her arms crossed across her chest, and he wasn't sure what to make of her, but he followed her off the court.

When she was sure they were far enough away that they wouldn't be overheard, she stopped walking and turned to face him again. He waited, with his hands in his pockets, because he had bounced the ball to Nathan as he had walked off the court. She suddenly sighed, and dropped her arms. "Why didn't you tell me the truth?" she asked softly. She didn't let him answer, but he realized she knew everything. "I would have," she paused.

This time he cut her off. "You would have what, Peyton? Enlighten me, because, I was just doing what I thought would hurt you least. I didn't know what happened, but I knew what it looked like. I still can't believe Lindsey did all of that. I didn't know the truth, and I thought if you thought I had done this more than once, you'd hate me, and so you wouldn't be hurt. I never wanted our marriage to end, but I thought I didn't deserve you anymore," he broke off, frustrated because he didn't know what she was thinking, and ran a hand over the back of his neck.

It almost made her smile to see him run his hand over his neck, because it was such a Lucas move, and it had been so long since she had seen it. She managed to control the smile, though. "Everything could have been different, Lucas. It would have made all the difference in the world, if you had just been honest with me in the first place. If we had talked it over, we might still be married right now," she said, wanting to continue, but knowing this wasn't helping.

With a hesitant look on her face, she stepped forward, closer to him. "Listen, Lucas, we could fight about the past till the end of time, and it won't change how it went down. All we can do now is focus on the future, and I want my future to be with you. I can't live without you anymore, and I'm tired of trying," she smiled and he grinned back at her. "I'm not saying this will be easy. We'll have to take things slowly, rebuild the trust, but I wanna go out on that date, if you still do," she was quick to be clear.

Stepping forward, Lucas gave Peyton time to stop him, but she didn't, so he wrapped his arms around her. He placed one hand on the back of her neck, and the other arm was wrapped around her back. She wrapped her arms around her waist and closed her eyes as he held her. She took a moment to just breathe in his scent, and he inhaled the scent of her hair.

Neither of them wanted to let go, because they were both grateful for the chance to be back in the other's arms, but Lucas finally let go and stepped back, and Peyton immediately felt the cold air hit her where his warmth had been. He grinned at her and began backing away. She asked where he was going. "I've got a date to plan. I'll pick you up at eight. It'll be great," he said with the Scott smirk on his face before he ran back to his car.

Realizing that he didn't even stop to say by to Nathan, or the boys, she walked back to the court. "What happened, Sawyer? You show up to talk to my brother, and then he runs off without a word after you two talk. What did you do?" Nathan asked with a smirk on his face. He waggled his eyebrows and Peyton knew what he was thinking.

Shoving her best guy friend, Peyton shot him a glare, but not even Nathan's dirty mind could keep her down. "I happen to have a date with him tonight, if you must know, Scott," she said, then realized who else was in hearing distance. She looked over at her sons. "If that's okay with y'all," she said, and they all shared a glance before nodding, and telling her they were happy for her.

Peyton left the guys to their basketball, but it was only about six, so she wasn't ready to get ready for her date. She spent half an hour drawing, and she had the framework finished, making it easy to see what the drawing was going to become. It was Lucas and Peyton, locked in an embrace, like they had been that afternoon. The caption would read: A New Beginning?

With a sigh, she studied what she had done so far. Would this really be a new beginning? She could only hope so. She wanted things to be good between them again. She wanted them to be together. She had meant it when she said she couldn't live without him anymore. She didn't want to. She only hoped that she'd be able to trust him again. She had asked the girls what they had thought when she got home, and they all gave her the go ahead. She realized that she did have one person she wanted to talk to though.

The phone rang three times before he picked up his end and said a greeting. "Hey, Jake, I just thought I'd tell you that Lucas and I are going on a date tonight. We're by no means back together, yet, but I wanted to tell you, because you're the one who convinced me to give him a second chance, and I just wanted to say thanks," she said, smiling as she leaned back in her chair.

This honestly surprised Jake. Just earlier today, she had walked away from him. He wondered what had happened to change that, but he didn't ask because, as she had already pointed out, he had been the one to tell her to give him another chance. "That's great, Peyton. I'm happy for the two of you," he said instead, and she ended up telling him the whole story anyway. They talked for a little bit, and then she had to get off to get ready for the date.

After a quick shower she dressed in a little green dress she had gotten from Brooke. It was silk, and it showed off her cleavage, and her legs. She pulled her curls up into a french twist, and she applied make-up, only using cover-up, some mascara, a little eyeliner and some bright red lip stick. She grabbed a pair of green strappy heels and put them on before standing in front of the mirror. She smiled at her appearance, just as the doorbell rang.

Before she could move, Marissa called out that she would answer the door, and Peyton decided to spray a little more hair spray on her hair, just to be sure it stayed. Then she decided to put on some jewelery, just as Marissa called upstairs that Lucas had arrived, though Peyton had known that. She said she'd be down in a minute as she put on a necklace that matched her dress, and a silver bracelet that she had gotten from Lucas. She applied some perfume to her wrists and behind her ears, then declared herself ready to go.

Grabbing her purse, she left her room, and slowly descended the stairs. Lucas was standing in the foyer of what used to be his house, their house, and when he heard her start coming down the stairs he glanced up, and there she was. His breath left him, and his heart started beating faster and a lump formed in his throat. He swallowed noisily, not noticing his daughter watching him, because his attention was solely focused on Peyton.

The blonde teenager watched her father, and she had to admit, she could see the love shining in his gaze. He really did love her mom, she had to give him that, and she was one of his toughest critics. She loved him, yeah, but she hated was he did to Peyton, and she didn't really like him much anymore. She could tell her parents were in love though, and she wouldn't want to stand in the way of true love. She quietly slipped out of the room, leaving them alone as Peyton reached the end of the stairs.

Blue eyes met green, and Peyton felt the butterflies in her stomach start going crazy. She loved the effect he still had on her, and she hoped he would always affect her like this. He was wearing a light blue button up, and black slacks, and he looked pretty good, if she did say so herself. She might be a little biased, though, because she always had thought Lucas was the most handsome man she'd ever met. "You look absolutely breath-taking," he finally said.

Blushing, Peyton bit her lip as she stood there. She was glad that he was still attracted to her. There was that much, at least. He held out his arm for her to take, and she hesitated before taking it, allowing him to lead her out of the house. She was a little worried about taking things too fast, but she decided to let the date play out as it would. She was actually curious as to what he had planned, and she knew from the look on his face he wouldn't tell her.

When they pulled up at the pier, Peyton had to admit she was kind of glad. Yeah, fancy restaurants are more first date material, but she really preferred walking along the pier. He opened her door for her, and she took his hand as he helped her out. They started walking, and they were surrounded by silence for a moment, before Peyton couldn't take it anymore. "Look, I don't want things to be awkward between us. This," she gestured between the two of them, "has never been this hard. Can we just treat this like a normal first date?" she said bluntly.

After her somewhat harsh bluntness, the two of them fell easily back into their normal ways. They both started talking, and laughing, and it was like any normal date first date, except he was Lucas, and she was Peyton, so it was more than just any first date. There had been no doubt that it would be, but Peyton felt somewhat reassured at the way they acted around each other. It felt so natural, even after the year they had had, and all she wanted to do was take his hand, or even kiss him, but she refrained, reminded herself that this was the first date, and they were a new couple.

As their evening drew to a close, Peyton was definitely sad for it to end. "You really didn't have to win me this giant teddy bear, you know," she said, looking around the giant stuffed bear that looked like a panda, which happened to be Peyton's favorite bear, which he knew, which was why Lucas had felt inclined to win for her. She started laughing remembering it. "What I mean is you didn't need to spend over $40 trying to win it," she teased.

Stopping, Lucas just looked at her. It took Peyton a few steps to realize he was no longer beside her, and so she had to turn so she was facing him, and she bit her lip, wondering what he could possibly be thinking. She didn't even have to ask before he told her, though. "I just can't believe how lucky I am to be here, with you. I never thought we'd be here again, but here we are, Peyton, and really, there is no where I'd rather be. We can have a fresh start, and maybe do things right this time around. No screwing up. I promise you, I'll do everything in my ability to be the guy you deserve," he said.

Things were getting intense, and her first instinct was to run, but she was tired of running when it came to Lucas. She wanted to stay right where she was, and this time she was going to. "I'll do my best not to screw up, too. I don't expect you to be perfect, Lucas. I just want to know you love me, and you're not going to leave me," she replied, her green eyes vunerable.

Reaching out, he lightly brushed a curl that had fallen out away from her face. "Peyton, I still remember what you wore the first time we met. You were wearing those tight jeans, and a Ramones tee-shirt, and your leather jacket. I also remember you were wearing those black Converse of yours, of course. I remember the first words I said to you, and you were such a bitch in response," she opened her mouth to defend herself, but he didn't let her. "The point is, I'm going to remember that moment forever, because it was the start of all my dreams coming true, and I'm going to prove that to you," he said.

Struck speechless, Peyton realized he couldn't have said anything better, and she didn't want to ruin the moment with any more words. She stepped towards him and pulled him down into a kiss. She pulled away a few minutes later, trying to catch her breath. "I think that was our best first kiss ever," she said, stepping back before she could kiss him again. "I also think it's time to end this date," she added. She really wanted to keep kissing him, and maybe do even more than that, and that was why she decided it was time for her to go home, alone.

Nodding, he still hadn't regained his speech, so he took her hand and led her towards his car, and Peyton was actually glad to be holding his hand. She definitely thought this was the best first date she'd ever been on, and she was including their first first date. She spent the ride in silence, trying to sear every moment of the night into her memory, and Lucas respected her silence, because they didn't need to feel the silence with useless chatter. They never had.

When he pulled to a stop in front of her house, she leaned over and gave him a quick goodnight kiss, but she hesitated before getting out of the car. "Do you want to come in?" she asked. He nodded, with a raised eyebrow, and she slipped out of the car without further explanation. He followed her, but she didn't notice until she was about to open the door.

Without opening the door, she leaned on it for a moment, stopping him. "No, I asked if you wanted to come in. I didn't invite you in," she said, with a shake of her head. She couldn't help but laugh at his expression. "It's nice to know you want to come in though," she was about to turn and go into the house, but she stood on her tiptoes and gave him a lingering kiss on the cheek. "Goodnight, Lucas," she said pleasantly, before she entered the house, leaving him on the porch.

Before Peyton could get very far in the house, she heard the sounds of the TV in the living room. She dragged her huge teddy bear in there after her, about to send whichever teenager it was to their bed. She stopped in her tracks when she saw not just one, but all six of them lounging in the living room, and they weren't even fighting over what was on TV. They were all doing their own thing, but they interacted with each other, too. She studied all of them.

On one couch, sat Ainsley, who had her earbuds in as she painted her nails with black nail polish. Jessalyn was sitting next to her, and it looked like she had been drawing in her sketchbook, but now she was painting the nails on Ainsley's left hand, because Ainsley was left-handed, and always complained that her left hand never turned out as good as her right. Marissa sat in a recliner next to the couch, with her legs tucked under her as she alternated between reading a magazine and texting.

The boys were also there, it surprised Peyton that they weren't complaining about the girly movie that Marissa and Ainsley had probably decided on. Seth was sitting in the other couch, with his notebook, writing in it. Ryan sat at the other end of the couch, tossing a Nerf football back and forth between him and Martin, who was sitting in a recliner across the room. "So, your sisters leave, and all of a sudden, you really can get along?" Peyton asked, standing in the doorway.

Immediately, they all put down whatever they were doing, and it was then that Peyton realized what they were doing. "Oh, no, guys, really, you stayed up to make sure my date went okay? You know, I'm supposed to be the mom, and you guys are my kids, not the other way around," she said with a shake of her head as they all looked at her expectantly. "It went great," she added when none of them said anything.

This elicted a range of responses, including the girls asking her to tell them all about it. "No, I will not kiss and tell. I'm not saying another word. Now, it's time for you all to get to bed. Lights out in twenty minutes," she said, trying to be stern, but unable to hold back her smile as she pointed for the stairs, waiting until they all went to their rooms.

Once she heard all the doors close, she pulled the giant bear into her room, grabbing the phone from its charger as she passed, and she closed her bedroom door. She put the bear-which was nearly as large as her, practically life-sized-in the middle of the floor, and then changed into some pajamas, climbing onto the bear and wrapping its arms around her before taking the phone and three-way calling Brooke and Haley. "This was the perfect first date ever," she opened the conversation once she was talking to both of them.

Then she delved into the conversation, describing the whole evening with probably more detail than they needed to know, but she wanted them to dissect the evening with her. She heard Nathan's comments in the backround, and a soft thump, and knew she was on speaker phone, and Haley had just thrown a pillow-and missed-at her husband. Peyton knew Nathan was just looking out for her, though, so she didn't mind.

First Brooke said, and then Haley agreed, that Leyton was back on. Peyton tried to insist she was just seeing where things were going to go, but then Brooke and Haley made a bet on how long it would be until Peyton finally gave up the charade. Brooke gave it a week, Haley said two months, and Nathan insisted it would be in between those times, about a month. Peyton got so annoyed that she contemplated hanging up. She heard the beep indicating someone was calling her. "I've got to go," she said to her friends, and then clicked over. "Hello," she said, as pleasantly as she could manage.

The look on Peyton's face gradually faded from annoyed to shocked, and then contorted into grief-stricken. She murmured okay's, and yeah's and finally she hung up the phone. She just laid back on the bear for a minute, before jumping up and running around the room in a frenzy, not quite knowing what to do with herself. She felt tears in her eyes, but she kept them from falling. She needed to keep them from falling.

Before a few minutes had passed, she gave up trying to figure out what she needed to do, and she did the only thing she could think to do. She called Lucas. He was better in situations like these anyway, not that they'd ever been in this situation, or she ever wanted to be in this situation again. She could barely force the words out when she called. She barely managed to get the words out when he answered, sounding as if he were just as awake and blissful as she had been minutes ago.

Speaking in a calm voice that she knew meant he was trying to keep her calm, he gave her instructions, and told her he'd be there soon. She nodded, then realized he couldn't see her, so she thanked him, and then hung up, setting out to do what he had said. She went into each of the teens rooms and told them what was going to happen, and they all wanted to come with her, but she adamantly refused to let them. She said she'd call them when she was sure, and told them to go back to sleep.

After she had talked to all six, and Lucas still hadn't shown up, she made a few phone calls to tell those closest to her what was going on, and asked someone to come over and stay with the kids while she left. She finished that phone calls as quickly as possible because she really did not want to talk about it, and then went to pack an overnight bag, finishing just as Lucas arrived. She went outside to get in his car, still wearing the dress from their date.

As she got into the car, Peyton couldn't bring herself to wave, or even force a smile. She didn't feel like pretending to be okay. She couldn't yet. She stared out the window, as Lucas drove, nothing but the radio filling the silence between them. She finally turned to look at him, as they passed yet another stoplight. "Lucas, she can't die, right? Please, tell me she's not going to die," she pleaded, wishing his word could fix everything.

A/N: Who saw that coming? I know I didn't, and I'm the one writing. That was just the way the characters took me, though. It was what they wanted. Who do you think the 'she' is? I have an idea, but I tried to leave it so it could really be anyone. Give me feedback, and I'll try to update before another month passes. I honestly can't believe I've taken so long to update, and you have my greatest apologies for that. I hope you won't hold it against me, and I hope you'll still review, even though I'm a horrible updater(I don't think that's a real word, but whatev…) Please, Review!!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to Twilight or One Tree Hill.


	15. Change

Once their parents were gone, the 'lets gathered in the living room. Seth, Martin and Ryan sat on one couch, trying to be strong for their sisters, while inside they were just as broken as the girls were. Jessalyn, Ainsley and Marissa didn't even try to hide their tears, or their agony. They clutched to each other as they sat together on the other couch and they all cried as they thought of what might happen. None of them spoke.

When they heard the front door open, they all knew who it was. There was only one person who opened the door without knocking every time, without fail. Brooke soon entered the living room, Sophia right behind her, taking the little ones, who were half-asleep up to a guest bedroom before she returned after her mother. Sophia hesitated only slightly in the doorway, looking once at her boyfriend before she went to her best friend's side.

It wasn't that Sophia didn't want to support Seth; she just knew that Ainsley needed her more. She and Brooke both said nothing as Ainsley drew one arm away from her sisters and wrapped it around her best friend, none of them caring about the awkwardness of the hug. Brooke surveyed the scene for a moment. "Since I assume none of us are going back to sleep, I'm going to make coffee," she said before heading into the kitchen.

After Brooke made coffee, she brought everyone out a cup, brewing another pot, in case anyone wanted seconds. She sat on a chair as she sipped her coffee, and none of them had finished their first cups before there was a knock on the front door, which opened shortly after. Haley led the way into the living room, with Nathan, and James, who had yet to go back to his college, was holding the new baby Scott, with Naley's other children following behind him.

Taking the young ones to lay them down in a guest room, James returned a few moments later, and still no one had said anything. There was nothing they could say yet, and the waiting was what was killing everyone the most. Nathan and the guys went out to play basketball, while Haley and Brooke went to the kitchen to drink coffee, and the girls stayed in the living room, still not saying anything, but their somewhat loud sobs had quieted to silent tears.

In the kitchen, Haley went right to the freezer and opened it, moving stuff around until she found the bottle of alcohol that she knew Peyton always kept in there for emergency situations not unlike this one, although no one had ever expected this situation to arise. Brooke gasped when she saw Haley set it on the counter, because Haley was still breastfeeding. "I don't want to drink it. Just look at the bottle," she quickly clarified.

Nodding slowly, Brooke looked longingly at the bottle, as if wishing she could have some, as Haley poured herself a cu of coffee, and then refilled Brooke's cup. "You can have some if you want," she offered, sliding the bottle over to the other brunette. Brooke shook her head, but Haley could see the pain in her best friend's eyes. "Hey, Brooke, where is Owen?" she asked cautiously.

The pain in Brooke's eyes intensified to something beyond just what was going on, and Haley knew she had hit the nail on the head when Brooke grabbed the bottle and poured a healthy amount into her coffee, taking a couple of sips before she looked over at Haley. "I don't think it's going to last much longer," was all she said. That was all she needed to say, though, for Haley to wrap her arms around her, and they continued to talk and sip their coffee.

In the living room, Ainsley decided she could stand the silence no more. It was getting to agonizing to just wait, and do nothing. She pulled back from the group hug, and looked at her best friend. "Hey, Soph, where is your dad?" she asked, because she knew that Owen must not have been home. If he had been home, Brooke would have left the little kids with him, if he hadn't wanted to come, or, more likely, he would have just come with them.

Just from the look that twisted Sophia's face, Ainsley knew something was going on, but she waited on her best friend to speak. She rubbed Sophia's arm as she waited for her best friend to speak. "They've been fighting lately, a lot. I mean, I thought today was okay, and everything was going to get good again, but when we all got home, they fought worse than ever, and he left the house," she paused, her eyes filling with tears. "I think they might get divorced," she added.

As the tears spilled over onto her already tearstained cheeks, Ainsley pulled Sophia into a tight hug, rubbing her back. She knew that while she would comfort her best friend, Sophia would get more comfort from her brother, and she pulled back. "Hey, if I know my brother at all, he's sitting on the porch, watching the rest of the guys play their game. You should go sit with him. You need him more than you can help me," she said, pushing her friend to her feet.

Of course, Sophia was hesitant, reluctant to leave her best friend, but Ainsley could see the well-hidden need to go sit with Seth in her best friend's eyes, and she knew she was making the right choice. "Really, bestie, it's okay. I promise you. I know you need him, and there's nothing you can really do to help me right now, so I want you to go and get your comfort so you can give some to me if I do need it," she said firmly, giving Sophia a soft push away.

Knowing what a sacrifice Ainsley was making, and how weird it must be for her, because this relationship was so new, Sophia really appreciated it, and she was going to take her chance. She and Seth had pretty much always been friends, because they were around each other so much anyway, but there had been times when she had talked to him, not instead of Ainsley, but in addition to talking to Ainsley. He had always helped her.

Just like Ainsley had said, Seth was sitting on the porch, watching James, Robert and William play against Nathan, Martin and Ryan. He looked up when he heard the door open, and he offered her the ghost of a smile when he saw who it was. She stepped forward and closed the door, that smile being the only thing she needed to make her go and sit next to him. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and she leaned into him.

For a while she told him of her troubles, but then she fell silent, and they both silently took comfort in the other's presence while listening to nothing but the sound of the basketball and feet on the pavement. Inside the house, Brooke and Haley fell silent around the same time, listening to nothing but the sound of the percolator every time they made a fresh pot of coffee, though Haley started drinking water after her first cup of coffee. The living room was also silent.

Not long after dawn had come and gone, the door opened again, and they all knew who it was, because there was no one else it could be. The girls stood as their sister came in, and they all hugged her as fresh tears poured down their cheeks. Haley and Brooke had heard the door open and they entered the living room as well, and they saw the twin who was possibly losing her sister right now. "Oh, Madison," was all Brooke could say as they stepped closer to hug her, too.

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Most of the ride was spent in silence, without even the radio to break it, because Peyton couldn't stand the thought of listening to any happy song right now, and the sad ones would do nothing to help her mood either. She leaned with her head against the window, and she offered to drive at around sunrise, because she figured Lucas might be able to get some sleep, even if she couldn't, but he declined.

When they started getting close to the hospital, Peyton realized that Madison must have made it home by now, and no doubt their whole huge extended family would be there as well. She knew that she should have told Madison what hospital, but she wanted to make sure her baby was okay before anyone else got there, and she didn't want Madison to have to be here at the hospital if Kerri wasn't okay. She could protect one of her babies, at least.

With that thought, the tears wanted to fall down her cheeks, but she had managed to keep them from falling thus far, and she wasn't going to let them slip until she was absolutely sure they should be. She knew it was ridiculous the way she was trying to stay strong, maybe for Lucas's sake, but a lot of what she felt in regards to Lucas didn't make sense to her, and some part of her just naturally held back that urge to cry in front of him.

The car finally stopped, and they got out of the car and headed into the hospital. She went straight to the nurse in front of the rest of the line, and gave her daughter's name, telling who she was. The nurse typed in Kerri Scott, and Peyton saw the flash of sympathy that she knew must mean things were really bad. She tried to ignore that as she listened to the nurse's instructions. She led the way to the waiting room to wait for the doctor.

After too many minutes, yet not enough because Peyton dreaded what the doctor was going to tell them, they heard Kerri's name get called and they approached the doctor. Peyton couldn't stand it any longer, and she took Lucas's hand for support as she listened to the doctor speak. She didn't understand many of the medical terms, but she did understand the underlying message of what he said, and it was bad.

Basically, from what she understood, there was a good chance that her daughter could die, due to major loss of blood, and internal bleeding. The doctors were fairly optimistic that they had managed to stop the internal bleeding, but sometimes with cases like Kerri's, there was no hope for the patient. It really depended on the person, and if she managed to make it through a couple days of observation without incident, then she should be fine.

Upon hearing that Kerri was probably going to be waking up soon, Peyton asked if she could see her daughter, and the doctor agreed that it would be okay for her to sit in the room, as long as Kerri still got rest when she did wake up. Peyton told Lucas to go call Madison, because she would never forgive herself if something did happen, and Madison didn't get to see her twin one last time, and followed the doctor to the room.

When the doctor left her at the door, she tried to brace herself to see her baby in a hospital bed, but nothing could have made her ready for the sight that waited for her in that room. Kerri was covered in bruises and scratches and her leg was set in a cast, as was her arm. She could also tell that her torso was bandaged up, and there was a bandage wrapped around her head. Kerri had always been the strong one, her tomboy, and it killed Peyton to see her so beat down, so broken and small looking.

Ever since she was little, Kerri had always been the strong one, but she didn't look strong anymore. She looked as weak as it is possible for a person to be, and Peyton wanted to take her broken daughter into her arms and hug and kiss her better, but she didn't want to hurt her. She stepped forward and began stroking back her daughter's golden locks, trying to touch her without touching somewhere that would hurt her as she continued to hold back her tears.

From the doorway, Lucas just watched for a moment, hoping that Peyton wouldn't use this as an excuse to pull away from him again. He knew how she was, and she would use something like this get away from him, and he didn't want to let her go, he couldn't. He needed her now more than ever, and he knew she needed him. He just wished that she would realize that, too, and soon.

More than hearing his approach, Peyton sensed him near, as some part of her had always been able to do. She turned to look at him, and as she met his blue eyes, something seemed to just click inside her, and she began bawling, and she fell into his arms, allowing him to catch her and comfort her. She felt tear drops hit the top of her head, and she knew he was crying, too, and she held onto him even more tightly, comforting him as well.

This was the worst thing they had ever gone through, the possibility of losing a child-she had no idea what would happen if the possibility turned into reality-and it seemed like the final blow. Instead of causing her to pull away from him, though, it had caused her to realize something, as she pulled back and looked into his eyes. She was sick and tired of not getting to be with him, and she wasn't going to repeat history again.

Things were going to be different this time, she vowed. Every time before, she had let him knock down some of her walls, and then she would build them back up when he hurt her again, but this time, she was going to help him knock them all the way down, and she wasn't going to let them go back up. She had complained about him not fighting for her, but she realized that she needed to fight, too, not against him, but with him, for their relationship.

Their whole relationship, they'd been outnumbered, and cornered by problems that wanted to tear them apart, and she realized she had been a part of that before. He had probably always been fighting for them, but if she was fighting on the other side, how did that make it a fair fight? She couldn't expect them to win, if they were fighting on different sides. They had to fight together, for them, and then they could win.

If she had realized this sooner, they might have been saved a lot of heartache, but then again, maybe not. They were both stronger now, had been through more things, and they were faster-in a sense-and they weren't as easily scared, or put off by the hard times. She had been trying to walk away, to get away from the heartache, but she had been wrong, completely wrong, to think that she could get through the rest of her life without Lucas.

Everything was changing now. She believed in him, and she believed in them, and the fact that they could get through anything, if they tried together. She was going to stop digging her heels in the ground, and she was going to lean on him as they went through these changes. Kerri might live or die, and either way it was going to be hard to get past this road bump, but they would beat it, together, she could see that in his eyes.

As she worked through all this in her mind, he could see it in her eyes. She finally believed in him, in them, and he could have kissed her. It was finally time for them to end this long, drawn out battle, and they would finally win, he could see it in her eyes that she knew they could beat this and any other change life could throw at them. He could practically see the walls she had spent so long building up falling down, and he was glad that he had never given it.

Sensing that she wanted to say something, he decided that he didn't need to hear it. He had thought he would need to hear some verbal confirmation when she finally gave in and let him back in, but he found that unnecessary, and before she could speak, he kissed her with a passion neither of them had felt in too long, and it said every word neither of them needed to say, and for the first time in a long time, they each heard what the other had to say.

Before they could break apart, Kerri's eyes opened, and she saw her parents as she came to. For a moment, she thought the past few years had been a dream, and there had been no editor, no book, no problems, but then she saw the room around them, and everything came back to her, including the accident, and the pain she was now in. She opened her mouth, but her voice was weak and barely there. "Hey, no PDA, guys, gross," she managed to get out.

The voice barely made it through to the two blondes, and when Peyton heard it, she almost thought she was hearing things, but when she pulled away from Lucas, and looked at her daughter, she had never been more happy to see those eyes open. She rushed over and wanted to wrap her arms around her baby girl, but she still didn't know where to touch her without hurting her, so she settled for carefully taking her hand. "Oh, baby girl," she cried.

Unable to say anything else, she bit her lip as the tears flowed more intensely. Lucas took his daughters other hand, and gently stroked her hair. "You're going to be okay, my sweet girl," he said his own blue eyes glistening with tears. "Madison's on her way now, coming from home, and she should be here in a couple of hours. She left while I was on the phone with her, and I'm sure everyone else has to get there stuff together, but they'll be here soon after," he told her.

Opening her mouth, but being unable to say anything because of her dry throat, Kerri pointed to the cup next to the bed. The doctor had told Peyton that Kerri's throat would be dry, and she would probably need some ice chips so she'd be able to talk, so Peyton gave her daughter a couple of ice chips. "She better not miss any classes because of me," Kerri said when she could find her voice.

It was such a random thing to say, that Peyton couldn't help but chuckle, as she knew was Kerri's intent. She gently ran her fingers through her daughter's blonde hair, as her other thumb still stoked her daughter's hand. "Oh, baby, don't you worry about that. You'll be better before either of you have a chance to miss much school," she promised, though she wasn't sure that was true. It helped her to try to believe that though.

The doctors had said that even if Kerri woke up, and seemed like she would be fine, that wasn't necessarily the case, so while it was okay to hold a little hope, don't set yourself up for more pain later by believing nothing could happen. That was why she had seen to it that Madison was called, so in case something did happen, the twins would see each other first. The thought that it could happen caused more tears to fall, though she tried to smile for her daughter.

Seeing her mom's face, Kerri just knew she wasn't out of the clear yet, but she didn't want to ask, because she didn't want to know. She let her parent's each hold one of her hands and she tried to take strength from them, through the pain. Peyton noticed the pain on her daughter's face, even though Kerri had always tried to hide her pain from her, and she made Kerri press the button to call the nurse.

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After Madison had gotten home, Brooke needed to get out and get some air. She had had just a tad too much to drink, and knew she was going to have to drive if they got the call to head to the hospital, so she decided to take a walk on the beach. She walked for a little while, eventually sitting down in the sand and watching the waves come in over and over again. She couldn't believe her marriage could possibly be over.

No, that was a lie. She could believe that now, these people she and Owen had somehow changed into, their marriage was definitely over, but she couldn't believe that the man she had married was not the same anymore. She had been so in love on her wedding day oh so many years ago. What had happened to him? What had happened to her? Why did whatever it was that had happened have to tear them apart?

Those were the questions she would give anything to answer, and they were the questions she really had no answer to. She wished she could say none of it mattered, but after that last fight tonight, she knew that she just couldn't ignore the fighting anymore. She knew the divorce was coming, and she finally accepted that fact as she stared out at the water. She had spent too long fighting for something that just wasn't going to work, and she was done.

Almost simultaneously with that thought, she heard a noise, and turned to see someone approaching her. He had floppy, brown-blond hair, and she could see his charming grin on his face even from the twenty feet that separated them. She could immediately tell that he was the kind of guy that she should turn away from right now, but something in her didn't stop her when he came and sat down next to her.

Neither of them spoke for a long time, and she continued thinking of Owen, and for some reason she just broke down in tears, forgetting that she was sitting next to a guy she didn't even know until she heard his voice. "Whoa, I have to admit, that's the first time I've ever gotten that reaction," he said, and she wanted to tell him to leave her alone, but she couldn't find her voice. He realized that and suddenly she felt a comforting hand on her back.

Before Brooke even realized what she was doing, she was crying into his chest and spilling her whole story to him. Despite his originally cocky attitude, he was very sympathetic, and she even found herself listening to his story. He had lost his wife ten years ago, and he had yet to have a serious relationship since. He wasn't even sure he wanted to be in another relationship, because he didn't know if he could love another as much as his wife.

Talking to this man she didn't know was surprisingly easy, easier than talking to anyone who knew her, who knew Owen and everything about her life. She did find herself spilling everything to him, though, and before she knew it, she was getting a phone call from Haley, saying that Madison was already on their way to the hospital, and everyone else was getting ready to go soon too.

Hanging up the phone, Brooke looked at the man she had been talking to, and she realized that she didn't even know his name. She felt like she had told him more about herself than she had told her husband in the past two months, and she didn't even know his name. A part of her liked the mystery, and she wanted to keep it that way, because she doubted she would ever see him again anyway. She said she had to go, and she left before they could exchange names.

**A/N: **_What do you guys think? I have to admit, I think I really do like this chapter, even if it did frustrate me quite a bit. This is a second draft, because I had it nearly all the way written, and then my computer decided to freeze and delete it, and like the genius I am, I hadn't saved one word of it. I thought it would be murder to rewrite the whole thing, because I really had been pleased with the original results, but it wasn't as hard as I thought._

_Anyway, tell me what you want to happen. I have a plan for the next chapter, but I could change my mind, if you guys give me good ideas. Should Kerri live or die? Should Brooke and Owen get a divorce? What about the new guys? Any ideas on who he should be? Should I continue the Brooke drama and get her with this guy? I know some people said they wanted Brooke with someone other then Owen, so I wanted to give you guys the option for that to happen. Give me any thoughts or comments and we'll see what happens in the next chapter. Thanks for reading and continuing to read. I love all my readers and I especially love all of my reviewers. Thanks!_

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own anything related to One Tree Hill._


	16. Stop Crying Your Heart Out

The next few hours Peyton and Lucas just sat by their daughters bedside as they waited for Madison to arrive. Kerri woke a few times, but she didn't seem up to saying much, so Peyton would just feed her a couple of ice chips, and wait until she drifted back into unconsciousness. It was killing her to see her daughter so weak and helpless, but she didn't know what else she could do, except be there for her.

Of course, there were a lot of tears, but Peyton tried to only allow them to fall when Kerri was unconscious. Peyton spent a lot of time with her chair scooted up as close to Lucas's as she could get, leaning against him and crying. She felt a few tears hit the top of her head, so she knew he was crying, too, even though he was trying to be strong for her. She loved him for that, she really did.

As Kerri's eyelids began fluttering, Peyton once again dried her tears, because she knew that meant Kerri was going to be opening her eyes in moments. She sat up straighter, and pulled the cup of ice chips toward her, so she could give Kerri some when her eyes did open. She wasn't disappointed, and she soon saw Kerri's gaze looking around the room, and then toward the door. "She's not here yet. She'll be here soon, I'm sure," Peyton said.

When Kerri's mouth opened, Peyton dropped a few ice chips in there, and she saw the understanding in Kerri's eyes. Peyton had known that the question Kerri would have asked would have been if Madison was there yet, and she wanted to save her daughter the breath, so she answered before the question could be spoke. Kerri just had to nod in response.

Noticing that Kerri seemed to be looking even paler than she had been, Peyton gave her a couple more ice chips, wondering if she was thirstier than she was saying. She was just making silent plans to go and get the nurse when the door to the hospital room opened. Three pairs of eyes shot to the doorway as Madison came through at nearly a run and hurried to her sister's bedside.

Seeing all the bruises and the other damage done to her sister, Madison stopped in her tracks, taking it all in. She looked like she had been crying the whole drive, and she was about to start again. She got her tears under control, and forced a smile for her sister's sake. "I want to hug you, but I don't want to hurt you. Gosh, Kerri, don't you ever do that to me again," she admonished, taking her sister's hand instead.

In return, Kerri smiled back, an identical smile, but it was much weaker, and worse for the wear. She opened her mouth, but Madison shook her head and cut her off. "No, don't speak. Really, it's okay. You just use all your energy toward getting better. Don't waste your strength on all the things you can tell me later, when you're better," she said, looking around for a chair.

Grabbing a chair for her, Lucas stood and gave his daughter a hug before she could sit down. Peyton stood and hugged her too, and they asked her how her drive was. None of them were really ignoring Kerri, but they didn't notice her gather her remaining strength. "I love you guys. Make sure you tell the 'lets and everyone else I love them, too," the words came out barely more than a whisper, but the other three heard them.

Turning to look at her, they all noticed her eyes slipped closed, and the machine next to her began making an alarming beeping, different than the monotone beep that had just been going on. Peyton and Madison rushed for the bedside, and Lucas ran for the door, to get a doctor, all of them frantic, moving on autopilot, because they couldn't believe this was it, they wouldn't believe that.

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Closing her phone, Brooke took in a deep breath, trying to figure out what to do. Lucas had said that she shouldn't come, and she shouldn't let the kids come either, but she wasn't sure she should follow orders. She wanted to be there for her best friend, but she didn't really think the 'lets should be around if their sister died. Lucas had said there wasn't anything they could do, now.

Of course, that was only her biggest worry. She had other things on her mind too. She had come home after the beach to gather a few things, and had found her husband just getting home as well, reeking of liquor and sex. It was the walk of shame, and she couldn't handle that on top of everything else. The following conversation hadn't done anything to make her think her marriage could be saved.

_FLASHBACK_

_Moments after she had started filling her duffel bag, she heard the front door open, and she walked out of her room to find Owen in the foyer. "Where the hell have you been, Owen? I need you to get the children from Peyton and Lucas's house. Kerri was in an accident. I need to go be there for my best friend, and I'm taking Sophia and the 'lets," she stepped closer and smelled the alcohol on him. "You were drinking?" she asked._

_Maybe it wouldn't have been that big of a deal, if he weren't a recovering alcoholic, and if she didn't know what he did when he was drunk. He shoved her back a little, out of his face, and she stumbled back into the wall. "Yeah, I've been drinking. What's it to you?" he sneered, obviously either not hearing the first part of what she had said, or just ignoring it._

_Still upset from their fight the night before, and everything else, Brooke snapped. "What is it to me? I'll tell you what it is. We're done, Owen, I want you out of the house, and I'm filing for divorce. I won't take it anymore. I won't take the fights and the yelling and I definintely won't take you going out and drinking all night, and then doing the walk of shame in the morning, probably because you spent the night with some whore," she spat._

_Before he could say anything, she continued, over his protests. "No, damnit, I don't want excuses. I don't have time for them anymore. You don't deserve my time anymore. When I agreed to forgo the divorce the first time, you promised me you'd stop drinking. If you're breaking your promise, I won't keep mine anymore. I'm packing up some things, and me and the children will be gone for a few days. I want you moved out before I get back," she turned away._

_Before she could take more than a few steps, he grabbed her arm and turned her around, his fingers digging into her arm. "What about the kids, Brooke? I won't let you take them from me. What makes you think I'll actually leave?" his breath washed over her cheeks as his fingers only tightened around her arm as she tried to get him to let go._

_Shaking her head and prying at his fingers, she looked up in his eyes. "Don't make me bring the past into this Owen, or I will make you lose everything. I paid for this house. You need to get out of it before I call the cops," she stopped trying to get him to let go when she realized her efforts were futile. She didn't let the pain show in her eyes. "Let go of me now, before I get you sent to jail and you never see the kids again," she threatened._

_Dropping her arm, he held his hands up in surrender. She turned and stalked away. She closed her bedroom door and leaned against it, waiting until she heard the front door open and close. She closed her eyes against the tears and slid down to the floor, hugging her knees to her chest and comforting her now sore arm, crying over the loss of her marriage more than the loss of her husband._

_END FLASHBACK_

After a while, she had picked herself up, gathered some clothes, and then some clothes for each of the kids. She went out to get in her car and noticed that Owen had apparantly taken a crowbar, or something similiar to it, knocking out both headlights and leaving quite a few dings and scratches on the hood. She closed her eyes and wondered if anything else could go wrong, before she got in.

Now she was sitting in her car, after just getting the call from Lucas, and she didn't know if she should stay or go. She decided that it would be best to get her and the kids out of town for a few days, and that decided it for her. She did go down and file the papers for divorce before she went to get the kids, though, and she called Nathan and Haley to tell them what she was going to do. She didn't mention Owen.

When she made it to Peyton and Lucas's house, everyone was ready to go, and she was glad, because she was pretty sure that she would start crying again in a moment if she stopped concentrating on what she had to do. She couldn't let her attetnion slip from the moment at hand, or she would never make the whole drive, and people would be worried about her. She knew that everyone else had other things to worry about right now.

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For the next few hours, Peyton, Madison and Lucas sat in the waiting room. Peyton was leaning into Lucas, bawling her eyes out. Madison was leaning into Lucas's other side, also crying steadily but silently. Lucas sat between the two, an arm around each of them, whispering soothing things to them, while trying to hold himself together and trying not to think about the fact that his baby girl could die.

Finally a doctor came out and said Kerri's name. Peyton was on her feet faster than Lucas could blink, though the other two weren't far behind her, and the three were soon standing in front of the doctor. "I'm her mother, Peyton Scott," she used Lucas's last name for the first time in a while, taking his hand. "This is my husband, and this is Kerri's twin," she gestured to Madison. "Tell me something good, please doctor," she begged.

The look on the mans face turned uncomfortable in a way that could only mean he wasn't going to deliver any good news. "Well, Mrs. Scott, the good thing is we've finally located what was wrong. She had a leak in one of her blood vessels. It was tiny, but she was slowly bleeding out, internally," he paused, and Peyton didn't like his use of the past tense. 'She _had_,' 'She _was_,' Peyton didn't like that at all.

Keeping his voice level, and trying to stay calm Lucas tightened his grip on Peyton's hand, obviously thinking the same thing that she was. "You're going to fix it, though, right? You said it was a good thing you found the problem. You can fix it, right?" he asked, desperation leaking into his voice in the last sentence. He cleared his through, keeping his steady gaze on the doctor.

The doctor looked from one parent to the other, not even bothering to look at Madison. There was sympathy in his gaze, and Peyton realized he probably had to have conversations like this every day. "Well, Mr. Scott, of course, we'll try our best, but it might be too late. I'm actually surprised she lasted so long before her blood pressure dropped, and that she didn't notice something was wrong. She should have noticed," he said.

Looking up at Lucas, Peyton thanked the doctor as he walked away. She was crying uncontrollably now, and Lucas wrapped his arms around her, holding her close, rubbing her back and trying to sooth her as she cried into his chest. Madison walked over to the wall and sat next to it, sliding down and pulling her knees up to her chest. She realized her mom had really gone back to her dad now, and right now she needed some comfort of her own.

Pulling out her phone, she his speed dial number one and pushed the talk button before putting the phone up to her ear. She had promised herself she wouldn't be the first once to call him, since they would be leading different lives now. She wanted to see if they could make it leading seperate lives, or if they wouldn't. She broke that promise to herself now though. It didn't matter anymore.

It took both women a long time to get their tears under control. Madison could barely spit out what was going on as she talked on the phone, and Peyton didn't even care that she was standing in the middle of the waiting room, crying where everyone could see her. She was sure she wasn't the first to cry in a hospital waiting room, and she knew she wouldn't be the last either.

Since both women were preoccupied, Lucas was the first one to notice Brooke, leading pretty much all the kids, towards them. "Hey, hey, Peyt," he whispered into her hair, not waiting until she responded. "Everyone's here," he continued. She looked up, and followed his gaze, immediately trying to stop the tears as she turned her whole body to face the onslaught of people. Brooke, seeming near tears, caught her in a hug first.

The first one to reach Lucas was Madison. Even though she was the girliest, she had always been a daddy's girl before the issues started between him and Peyton. She hugged onto him tightly now, crying and it was like the whole time when she had hated him hadn't happened. He was her daddy, and he loved her, and that was what mattered now. Lucas was glad to be holding his daughter again, despite the circumstances.

After everyone had said their greetings, for which Madison hung up her phone and stood up, Peyton tried to explain what was going on, but couldn't, so Lucas took over, as she tried to stop the tears that wanted to keep coming. She leaned into Lucas for support, and Brooke held her other hand tightly. Lucas had just finished speaking, when the group was approached by a couple of guys. One was Jake, and the other he didn't know.

Approaching Peyton first, while the unknown guy stood at the edge of their group, Jake pulled Peyton into a hug, which she accepted. She forced a smile as he let her go, and they all stared at the unknown guy, though no one stared harder than Brooke. Jake noticed, and gestured toward the guy. "This is my cousin, Julian. He's the one I stayed with in Savannah back in high school. He's here to visit for a couple of weeks," he introduced Julian to everyone.

Everyone waved, or said hi, and then they all took seats in the waiting room. It was almost too small to hold everyone, because a bunch of the seats were already filled, but they somehow all managed. Brooke made sure Peyton was seated between Lucas and Jake, with Haley and Nathan nearby, too, before she excused herself to go for a walk. No one really noticed that Jake's cousin disappeared too.

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Going through the hallways nearby, Brooke finally found the guy from the beach, Julian apparantly, and she stopped, but before she could say anything, he spoke. "So, you're Brooke. As beautiful as Jake described you. Can I tell you something," he didn't pause for her approval, and she was too surprised that he seemed to know who she was now to say anything. "I've always wondered why Jake chose Peyton over you," his brown-eyed gaze burned into hers.

Unable to think of anything to really say to that, Brooke felt herself blush, and suddenly felt very warm in her jacket. She ducked her head down as she took it off, before looking up again, hoping the blush was gone. "Peyton's a great person. She's a great mother, and the best friend I could have and," she trailed off as she realized she was just listing Peyton's good qualities, which she always thought of when she wondered what could have been, if Lucas had chosen her.

When she glanced up at him, she saw his gaze was riveted on her arm. "What's that?" he asked, concern in his tone. She glanced down, saw the bruise forming on her arm, and winced. She really hadn't expected it to bruise up so quickly, but it was already a pretty dark purple, and it looked kind of nasty. She put her hand over it and tried to hide it, but he stepped closer and moved her hand away, touching the spot tenderly. "What happened?" he asked.

Glancing up at him, their eyes met, and Brooke found it hard to breathe with him so close, and his fingers on her skin. He felt the same bolt of electricity and took a surprised step back, but she could tell he wasn't going to let the bruise go. "It's nothing," she mumbled. "Really, Owen was just drunk, and not liking what I had to say to him. It doesn't matter, though, I'm divorcing him. I already went down and filed for the divorce," the words came out softly, though she didn't know why.

Nodding, he took another step back. "You're special, Brooke Davis. There's something about you. I don't even know what it is yet, but I know there's something," he said as their gazes stayed locked. The whole building could have been burning down around them, but neither would have noticed. "I won't help you cheat on your husband. We can be friends, but until you're divorced, that's it," he clarified.

Understanding where he was coming from, and knowing that he was right, she nodded. "That sounds good. I don't have many guy friends, really, and I don't think it would be right for us to get together right now anyway," she said, feeling the connection, too, but with the fact that she was just getting out of a relationship, she was kind of scared of this connection.

Neither of them seemed able to break the eye contact, though. "That being said, as your friend, I think you could use some comfort. Have you told anyone else you're getting divorced?" he asked. She hesitated before shaking her head, and he opened his arms, allowing her to take some comfort from him before she had to go back to the waiting room and pretend that, besides the obvious, everything was okay.

After some time, they decided that Brooke's presence was going to be missed, and they decided to keep the fact that they had met earlier a secret, so they mutually decided that Brooke would go back first, and Julian would wait a bit before following. She hugged him once more before pulling out of his arms, drawing strength from him, because she knew she was going to need it.

When she entered the waiting room, she noticed two things: Madison's boyfriend had arrived while she was with Julian, and Peyton and Lucas were talking to a doctor again. The doctor walked away and Peyton and Lucas walked back to their family, as Brooke walked up at the same time. Peyton was able to talk this time. "She made it," she announced with a big smile, though her tears which were now tears of relief.

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A few hours later, Peyton and Lucas had sent the Naley family home, because they had a new baby, and she had sent Brooke and the other kids to a hotel, because they had insisted on staying. Jake and his cousin were also staying until Kerri was transferred back to Tree Hill, too. She and Lucas were staying at the hospital until Kerri woke up, and then they would go to the hotel. "She did know, you know," Peyton broke the silence.

Still crying, because Kerri was pale and still looked really bad, Peyton had done nothing but stare at her daughter the whole time. She finally looked at Lucas, who looked confused. "She knew that she was dying. She was waiting for her sister. She wanted to say her last goodbyes, because she knew that if she had go to to surgery she might not make it out. She didn't want to let go without saying goodbye, so she held on until Madison arrived," Peyton clarified.

With a sigh, Lucas rubbed his hand over the back of his neck. He had realized that was probably the case. He hadn't wanted to speak those words out loud, though, because he knew the affect they would have on Peyton. "She made it, though, Peyt. Everything's okay now. They fixed it, and she lived, despite all odds. You don't need to be crying anymore," he said, reaching over to rub her back.

Finally looking over at him, she wiped her eyes, smiling a ghost of a smile, the closest thing to a real smile he knew he was going to get. "You're right, Lucas. God gave us a second chance, and He's giving her a second chance too," she paused, her green eyes staring into his blue as she turned solemn. "Thank you, Lucas, for being here for me, the whole time. I know she's your daughter, too, but I'm really grateful for your support," she said.

Softening, he leaned close, placing a soft kiss on her cheek as he reached up and caressed the other one, moving her hair out of her face. "I'm always going to be here for you Peyton, from now until the rest of forever. You can lean on me, cry on me, or not cry on me, it doesn't matter. I'm here for whatever you need. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. I promise you," he said sincerely.

Leaning into him again, she allowing him to gently stroke her hair, as she leaned her head on his chest and listened to the steady beat of his heart. She wanted to believe him, really she did. She hoped he was really telling the truth this time. Her heart wouldn't make it if he wasn't. She wasn't sure she'd ever stop crying her heart out if he wasn't being honest right now, if he didn't mean those words with all his heart.

**A/N: **_I decided to let Kerri live. You guys convinced me, because I really was going to kill her off. I also decided to keep going with Brooke's storyline, because you guys said you wanted it. See, I do read and consider your reviews! So y'all should leave more. Thanks to everyone who did review and even those who just read it, though you should review. _

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own anything._


	17. Gimme That Girl

Groaning, Kerri leaned forward as Peyton fluffed the pillow behind her. She had been home only a few days, after being in the hospital for a week, but she was already tired of her mother hovering every second, and that she had to have practically everything done for her. She knew she would be stuck in this bed for a while yet, but she was already ready to be out of it, longing for the day when she'd be able to do something as simple as make a piece of toast for herself, or even take a walk from one side of the room to the other. She couldn't even get out of bed right now without some form of a crutch to lean on.

After Peyton fluffed the pillow, she moved around, making sure Kerri was covered completely by the blanket, and then she started fussing with Kerri's hair, which was starting to fall out of the sloppy pony tail she'd put it in. Kerri, who had lifted up the laptop on her lap when her mom had started messing with her blanket, now groaned. "Mom, you're in my way. I can't see the screen if you've got your hands in my face," she tried not to sound annoyed, but she couldn't help it, really. She was thinking that it was a side effect of all the medication her mom was giving her all the time.

Just as Peyton stepped back out of the way, though not far, of course, Kerri tried to focus on the screen again, but her cell phone rang, and she knew exactly who it was due to the ringtone now playing through the room. She wanted to sigh, and maybe throw the phone across the room, but she knew that if she didn't answer, Madison would just freak out and call the house, or anyone else's cell phone until she found out how Kerri was doing, or got to talk to her. She grabbed the phone from her nightstand, but didn't yet flip it open. "Dad," she called loudly, hoping he would hear her, whatever he was doing.

Flipping open her phone, she decided to get rid of her sister as her dad made his way to the room. She took a deep breath before she said hello, trying to sound pleasant. She let Madison respond in kind before she continued. "Maddi, really, I know you and Mom are just worried for me, and I love the two of you to death, but I'm trying to take my online course right now, and I can't do that if the two of you are checking on me every two seconds. Please, for the next couple of hours, let me take my class, and then I'll call you back, and we can talk all about how your classes today were," she pleaded.

Fortunately, her sister conceded and soon enough she was hanging up, making promises to call back. Just as she shut the phone, the door to her room opened, and her dad poked his head in. He looked at her, silently asking what she wanted. She pointedly looked at the laptop, and then at her mother before looking at Lucas. "Please, Dad, I really need to concentrate. This is my first online college class. It's a wonder I managed to switch my classes for this semester to online classes anyway. I need to pass, or the school will kick me out," she sent her mom a brief, apologetic look before turning her pleading look on Lucas again.

Smiling at her, Lucas came in and gave her a kiss on the forehead before turning and grabbing Peyton by the hand, pulling her out of the room. He knew that Kerri and Peyton had spent at least an hour on the phone with the admissions office explaining things and the lady had been understanding, and sympathetic, but it had taken them a while to iron things out. Kerri was going to have to move back in the dorm as soon as she could, still taking the online classes, and then start taking on-campus classes as soon as the next semester started. She still had to pass the online classes, though.

Once the door closed behind them, Peyton collapsed onto Lucas, weary and tired from the nights of little to no sleep. She still hadn't gotten over the fact that she had spent every night her daughter had been in the hospital in Tree Hill sleeping in a chair right next to her bed. She had spent the nights that Kerri had been home in her own bed, but she hadn't slept much, running from her room to Kerri's to check on her, and making sure Madison was ready to go back to school Madison had left the day before, so she could make it to her first classes today, and the other kids had started school today too.

So, to take everything in, it had been a hard time, and it hadn't even been two weeks since the accident yet. Peyton knew that she was probably being too over-protective, but she couldn't help it. Lucas knew it too, but of course, he didn't say anything, and she was glad for that. He guided her away when she was overstepping too much, but other than that, he basically hung around her, much the way she hovered around Kerri, trying to make sure she was okay, as she tried to take care of Kerri. She definitely appreciated the gesture, but something in her was still holding back, she knew.

Every night, she made him go home to his own apartment, and while she knew he wished she would at least let him stay in a guest bedroom, he never complained. He left every night, when she looked like she was about to fall over with exhaustion, but only after she promised to put on her pajamas and get into bed. She always did, but not until after he was gone. She also made sure was up and had showered and dressed before he arrived every morning, usually with breakfast and coffee for her and the kids. She knew he wouldn't ask to spend the night, and she was glad, because she wasn't sure what she would say if he did.

It wasn't really that she didn't want him to stay. She loved the time she got to spend with him, and she especially loved the times he held her close in his arms, just comforting her, but she wasn't ready to ask him to stay yet. She didn't think she'd be able to say no if he asked but she didn't know if she was ready, and she wasn't sure if she could find the courage to ask him. She thought about it a lot, probably more than she should, and many times she had been tempted to say the words, instead of asking him to go, asking him to stay, but she couldn't, and she almost thought she knew why.

What she was afraid of was letting him see her as he used to see her, in anything less than impeccable. She was afraid to look a mess around him, because even though she knew he hadn't really cheated on her, obviously the desire had been there or he wouldn't have believed that he had. She didn't want to look sloppy, or less than as beautiful as she could be, because she didn't want him to remember why he had wanted to cheat in the first place. She thought that maybe if she could convince him that she was always beautiful, or looking her best, then he would still want to be with her.

Part of her knew that was crazy. She could remember times when Lucas had repeatedly told her that she looked her best when she wasn't trying to be beautiful. She remembered one day she had been cooking dinner for him, barefoot and with the radio on. She hadn't dressed up; she hadn't even been wearing make-up. She had been dancing to one of her favorite songs singing along as she moved around the room, not even realizing he was there until he snuck up behind her, wrapping his arms around her from behind, and whispering in her ear that she was gorgeous. The kids hadn't been home that night, and dinner had been delayed.

Right now, though, she couldn't allow herself to be around him without make-up, without doing her hair first. She spent more time away from Kerri fixing herself up in the morning than any other time during the day. She heard the words he often said to her, what he used to say played in her mind all the time, but she just couldn't trust that anymore. She trusted him, yeah, but she didn't trust herself to be enough for him anymore. She spent hours every night trying to figure out how to change that, but aside from talking to Lucas, which she didn't want to do, except maybe as a last resort, she wasn't sure she could change that.

Instead of just laying with her head on his chest, she leaned up and gave him a quick kiss on the lips, which quickly turned more heated, and she knew the kids were all at school, except for Kerri, who, besides being busy taking her class, couldn't exactly walk in on them anyway. She could have easily let the moment take them away, and she could tell Lucas wanted to and that made her feel somewhat better. She almost did let it go, just because he wanted to, but she wasn't sure if he just wanted to because he wanted to get laid, or if he actually wanted her. It killed her that she doubted that.

When she pulled back, trying to come up with some excuse, like she had managed to do every other time things had begun to get even remotely close to as heated as they were now, she was coming up blank. She couldn't think of one thing to stop what was going to happen, except to say that she didn't want to, but she did want to, she wanted it so bad that half the time she couldn't think straight anymore. He looked into her eyes, his blue eyes filled with a desire that dissolved any of her desire to stop what was happening. She hadn't seen that much desire in his eyes in a long time, and she knew it was for her, and that caused her resistance to just melt away.

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Sitting at the beach, Brooke just listened to the silence, hearing nothing but the waves crashing onto the beach as she looked out over the water. She was sitting next to Julian, but there was a lull in the conversation and she was glad for that. She liked the times when they could just sit next to each other, letting the silence surround them, without needing to say a word. She knew that this silence was different though. She had something she needed to say, something she needed to tell him, if she could figure out how, and she knew that he knew that. He was waiting for her to find the words.

Looking over at him, she smiled sadly as she took in his posture. She could tell that everything about him made up who he was, what he was going to have to do. She knew she didn't want him to go. She had fallen completely in love with him these past two weeks, and she almost wished she hadn't, because he was leaving, and she didn't know when she'd see him again. She knew he didn't want to leave, and he felt the same way about her now, but he couldn't stop the fact that their two weeks was up. She had known from the beginning that it would be, but she had never expected to feel this way.

Part of her wanted to make him take her in his arms and never let go. She wished she could wrap her own arms around his waist, or his neck, and force him to stay in Tree Hill, with her, but she knew it was more complicated than that. She knew he wouldn't even kiss her right now, because Owen had yet to even sign the divorce papers. Owen was definitely putting up a fight, but she had kept it quiet, and she had finally convinced him to sign the papers. She was going to be a free woman. She technically already was. She wasn't, though, at the same time. Her heart now belonged to Julian.

Meeting her gaze, he smiled back at her, and she finally was able to tell him what she had not yet. "Owen signed the papers. I finally convinced him this morning. I think he's finally realized that I don't love him anymore that I haven't for a long time and I will never be in love with him again," she said, leaving it unsaid why she wouldn't be in love with Owen ever again. She knew that part of it had nothing at all to do with Julian. She just had fallen out of love with Owen. She wasn't sure when, but he had changed into this person she didn't love, and maybe she had changed, too, but she thought she had changed for the better.

Not pretending to be surprised when he wasn't, Julian cocked an eyebrow, and she could see the pleasure and relief in his gaze, but she could also see something there that gave her pause. She looked down, where his hands were linked around his knees. She frowned as she looked closer, grabbing his right hand and pulling it closer for inspection before looking up at him again. She had noticed Owen's black eye and swollen cheek, but since he hadn't said a word to her, and he spent so much time at the bars lately, she had just figured he had gotten into a regular bar fight.

Grasping Julian's hand and tenderly running a thumb over his swollen knuckles, she knew what had happened. She should have suspected it, but she hadn't told Julian where Owen lived specifically for the reason that she knew what he would do. She didn't know now whether she should be angry or not. She looked closer at his face, to be sure that Owen hadn't returned any hits. He looked okay. She clicked her tongue, and shook her head, finally standing up. "You shouldn't have done that," her voice level as she walked toward where her car was, knowing he would follow.

Not one to disappoint her, Julian jumped up and caught up with her, grasping her arm lightly to stop her. "Wait, Brooke, please, don't leave. I know I shouldn't have, but please, don't go. We don't have that much time left, and I, I just," he trailed off, running his sore hand through his hair, wincing when that hurt, and looking at her with big, pleading brown eyes, looking utterly distraught at the thought of her leaving. "I'm not sorry I did it, because we both know he deserved it, but please, don't go," he repeated, his eyes begging her to stay, as his hand moved down her arm so he could link his fingers through hers.

Smiling at her ability to predict exactly what he would do, she reached up with her other hand and lightly caressed his face. It was as close to a kiss as they had gotten. "I'm not leaving. I was going to the car to get my first aid kit, so I could get some antiseptic on those knuckles. I'm not going to condone what you did, but I won't blame you for it either. I'm almost kind of glad you did it. I just don't want you hurting because I used to be married to an asshole," she admitted, glad that he didn't want to lose time with her as much as she didn't want him to leave. That was comforting to know.

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After hearing the knock on the door, Peyton called for him to come in, stopping in Kerri's room to make sure she was okay and to check again that she was okay with Peyton and Lucas going out tonight. Kerri told her that she looked gorgeous and that she was glad she was leaving, because the lets would give her more peace. Peyton kissed her daughter's forehead, ignoring the teasing, and left the room. She headed down the stairs, knowing that Lucas would be waiting in the foyer, and trying to forget the last time they had gone out on a date, they had later that night found out about Kerri's accident.

Putting that out of her mind, she smiled as she reached the foot of the stairs. She had, almost immediately after their session in bed earlier that day, kicked him out, so he wouldn't have to look at her while she wasn't looking her best, but he had only left once she had promised that she would go out to dinner with him that night. She had reluctantly agreed, knowing that the 'lets could take care of Kerri, and she really could use a night out, especially with Lucas. She also liked the idea of really dressing up and going out to dinner with him. She could look really good if she had a reason to, and she wanted to remind him of that.

As he caught sight of her, and she could visibly see his reaction, she smiled inwardly. She had chosen her red dress specifically, and she had done her make-up pretty perfectly, if she did say so herself. She was also pleased with her hair, which had curled wonderfully, and was twisted up into a French twist. She was pleased with her appearance, and she was definitely pleased with the way he reacted to her appearance. He pulled her into his arms as soon as she reached him, and began kissing her everywhere his lips could reach. She giggled and placed her hands on his chest.

Looking down at her in awe, he couldn't believe how lucky he was to have her back in his life. He knew he was lucky, and he knew he didn't deserve her but here she was, and he never intended to lose her again. He had felt like they had re-broken down some barriers today, and he was glad for that. He stared at her, and as she looked back up at him, she could tell she was wondering what he was thinking. He knew he was wondering what she was thinking. He remembered a time where they would have just canceled their reservations, and gone right back up to bed, instead of leaving the house.

Looking into her green eyes, which reflected back all the love that he hadn't seen there for too long, he wondered why they couldn't do just that. "Let's go back upstairs," he growled huskily into her ear. He watched as her expression turned puzzled, and he continued, talking low enough so that if any of the kids were around, they wouldn't overhear something they would probably rather not hear. "Come on, Peyt. You look amazing, you really do, and I love seeing you all dressed up but I would love even more seeing you not dressed at all," he waggled his eyebrows suggestively at her.

Taking on a faked shocked look, she pretended to be scandalized by his suggestion, even though it secretly pleased her that he would suggest that. His words gave her hope that maybe one day he would actually mean that, and mean everything else he used to say to her, about preferring her when she wore no make-up, and everything else. He hadn't said anything like that to her in the past two weeks, if he had even noticed that she had dressed up and done her make-up every day, in a way she hadn't before. "Come on, Lucas, I really tried to look good tonight," she tried to sound teasing.

Sudden understanding lit up his expression, and she cursed him for knowing her so well. She looked down to avoid his gaze, and so she could hide her disappointment when he agreed with her. He surprised her by lifting her chin, looking into her eyes to make sure she heard him. "Peyton, you don't have to try to look beautiful. You just are. You are absolutely the most gorgeous woman I've ever known, with or without make-up, with or without your hair done, whether you're dressed in a dress like this, or jeans and an old tee-shirt. In fact, I prefer when you wear nothing but jeans and an old tee-shirt, and when you have no make-up on," he paused, shaking his head, in admonition of himself, not of her, she knew.

Looking at her again, he went on. "I probably should have mentioned this before, when I noticed you were trying so hard, but I didn't want to put any more stress on you, I thought it was something you needed to do. I didn't think it was something you thought you needed to do for me. Peyt, I love every side of you, but the side I love the most is the side other people don't get to see. I love it when you're at your most comfortable, because I feel that's a special side of you that I'm the most familiar with. I know lately I haven't deserved to see that side, and that was why I didn't question you," he emphasized.

Still in shock at his words, Peyton was unable to find any of her own, so Lucas continued. "One of my favorite memories of us was when I came home from work, and the kids were all gone, busy or somewhere else, and you were cooking dinner for me. I called your name, but I could hear music on in the kitchen, so I followed it in there. You hadn't heard me yet, and you were dancing around the kitchen as you cooked, in your bare feet, singing to yourself," he chuckled. She was surprised he remembered that with such fondness. "I love memories like that, or times when we sit on the couch together and you fall asleep with your head on my chest. I love every part of you, Peyton Scott, and I don't care if you're dressed in your best dress, or if you're sick in bed, wearing pajamas with your hair in a mess. You're always the most beautiful woman in the world to me," he finished.

Before she could answer, he reached up, carefully taking her hair out of the French twist, letting it cascade her back in curls. He kissed her neck, pulling her close and leading her to the bedroom. The kids, for the most part, chose to ignore the fact that their parents weren't leaving the house like they had planned, and when Lucas got her behind the closed bedroom door, he slipped her dress off, but before they went to bed, he took her to the adjoining bathroom and washed the make-up off her face. "I love you, Lucas Scott," she said in complete awe before they went to bed.

A few hours later, there was a knock on the door. Peyton, since all the kids were in bed, due to the curfew of a school night, hurriedly pulled on one of his old tee-shirts, and the first pair of pants that she found on the floor as she hurried toward the front door. She pulled it open, yawning and pulling the hair out of her face, to find her best friend standing on the porch, crying. "He's gone, P Sawyer. He really left. I knew he was going to, but now that it happened, I'm kind of freaking out," the usually bubbly brunette confessed. She was blubbering now.

Not really understanding, Peyton asked if she was talking about Owen, and Brooke immediately shook her head. "No, not Owen. Owen and I are getting divorced. I'm talking about Julian. He left, really left. I fell in love with him in the two weeks he was here, and now he left. He's going back to Afghanistan and he could die, and either way I won't see him for at least two years and there was so much I should have said, so much I should have done and now I may never see him again," she sobbed, and Peyton, who was utterly confused, invited her in, hoping that after Brooke cried for a while, she would shed some light on the subject.

**A/N: **_I thought this chapter was good. I'm trying to iron out Lucas and Peyton's problems one step at a time. We're not quite done yet. Next chapter will have more info on Brooke and Julian, and some more drama with Luke and Peyt. I think I'll involve more of the teenagers in it too. We shall see, I guess. I can tell you this, and y'all can try to guess what it will mean. The title of the next chapter will be The Man I Want To Be. Review, tell me what you think that means, what you think will happen. Maybe you'll be right, maybe not. We shall have to see._

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own anything._


	18. The Man I Want To Be

It was Saturday morning when Peyton came downstairs and saw the papers on the table. Since school had started, the kids were mostly sleeping in or doing their own thing and she had been in her studio painting, because Lucas had left early that morning to work out with Nathan. She guessed that someone had brought the mail in and she flipped through the bills, tossing them aside for the large manila envelope with her name on it.

When she saw the return address she froze, her heart dropping into her stomach. Things had been so perfect lately, she should have known something would come along to ruin that. She tried to tell herself that she had known this was coming. Of course it was coming. It always had been. She just couldn't figure out why it was affecting her like this. She took a seat at the table as she opened the envelope and took out the papers, looking them over even though she knew exactly what they said.

Suddenly her daughters voice snapped her out of her stupor. She heard footsteps, but she couldn't face any of her kids yet. She reached up and felt a wetness on her cheeks that she hadn't realized was there. She needed out. She felt the papers slip out of her hands as she stood and she darted her gaze around the room, looking for a way out. She spotted it in the form of her keys and she grabbed them as she made her way out the sliding glass door.

Wearing nothing but Lucas's tee-shirt and a pair of shorts, she hurried around the house, trying to wipe away the tears as she got into her Comet and drove away. She took a deep breath as the house disappeared from her view and she knew where she was going. She put the car in park when she arrived and tried to gather herself before she got out. She looked around and decided her car was too visible. She wanted to be alone for a while.

After parking somewhere where the car wouldn't be immediately seen if people came to look for her, she walked back to where she had originally been and made her way over to the right spot. She sat down and drew her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them and resting her chin on them. She stared at nothing and tried to figure out why this was affecting her so much, but, deciding to give up on that for now, she instead thought about Brooke, and the story she had heard the other day.

_FLASHBACK_

_Ushering her best friend into the living room and sitting her on the couch, Peyton tried to figure out what Brooke had just said. Why was she talking about Julian. As far as Peyton had known, the two of them had barely spoken in the two weeks Julian had been here visiting Jake. She looked at Brooke and knew that wasn't the case though. She had fallen in love with him, and Peyton didn't know what to tell her, because she knew Julian wouldn't be back in the states for at least two years, and she didn't know what that would mean for Brooke. "Tell me the story," she coaxed her best friend._

_As Brooke sat there and started telling the story, Peyton rubbed her back and listened. She quickly explained how they had met, and then the day in the hospital. "He intrigued me at first, and I didn't think it was anything more than that, so I went back to the beach, just because it has always been one of my favorite places to think. I never expected to see him there again, but I did, and somehow, we just kept meeting at the beach, whenever we could and we talked. God, Peyton, we talked about everything. I've never met someone that I just wanted to talk to that much," she broke off, looking at her best friend with tears still in her eyes._

_Nodding, Peyton reached up and wiped them away, pulling her into a quick hug before letting her go, gesturing for her to go on with the story. She took a shaky breath and then she did. "I just felt this connection, you know, and it was more than attraction, more than lust, although that was certainly there too. It was a true connection, something I've never felt for anyone, not Owen, not Chase, not anyone. I was scared though, so I kept him at a distance. I knew he was leaving, and I didn't want to fall too deep, when he was going to disappear anyway," she dissolved into tears as she relived her mistakes._

_Patiently, Peyton waited out Brooke's tears, whispering soothing words and continuing to rub her back until she could control the tears. She finally was able to keep going. "I should have told him the truth. I wasted two weeks, Peyton, and he's not going to be gone for good until next week, but I don't know how to get in touch with him. I'll never be able to talk to him again, or tell him how I really feel, and it's all my fault. He told me he had to go visit his parents, but he wanted to spend his last days with me, but I told him to go, told him that we were just friends and that was all it was. I screwed up," she looked at her best friend, her chin quivering again._

_Smiling, Peyton tried to put her friend in a better mood. "Sounds like you pulled a Leyton, running from your feelings," she joked. Brooke sent her a feeble smile, but Peyton could tell the feeling wasn't behind it. She pulled Brooke into another hug, not really knowing what to say. "You always tell me that Lucas and I are meant to be and it will work itself out. Well that's the truth Brooke. I thought all hope was lost, and look at me now. True love always finds a way to work itself out, even when we screw things up royally," was all she could say._

_Nodding, Brooke pulled back, smiling with a little more force. She had to believe that, and right now that belief was all she could do. She needed to focus on something else though, to get past dwelling on her own stupidity. "Can we watch a movie or something, Peyton? The little ones are in bed at my house, and Sophie's there to watch them, or call me if she needs me. I need," she wasn't sure how she was going to finish that sentence, but because Peyton was her best friend, she didn't need to. Peyton nodded, and the two sat back on the couch underneath the throw blanket to watch whatever came on the TV._

_END FLASHBACK_

The day after that Peyton had called Jake, and, without letting him know anything, had asked him to give a very subtle message to Julian. She didn't know if Julian had got it, or if it had been enough, but she knew she had done all she could to help her best friend and there was nothing else she could do. It was in the hands of the couple now, and fate, and she only hoped fate was nicer to the two of them than it was to her and Lucas.

OTH OTH OTH OTH OTH OTH OTH OTH OTH OTH OTH OTH OTH OTH OTH OTH OTH OTH

Lost in memories, Brooke was sitting at the beach, wishing she could go back and change things. She spent most of her days in the past. She hated that she had just let him go like that. She didn't want things to be that way, but she didn't know how to change things now, except to swallow her pride and call Jake and ask for his number. She got out her phone and searched through her contacts. She was about to hit send, but then she noticed his figure. She thought she was seeing things at first, because she had been so lost in memories, but something kept her from hitting send as he approached.

Hesitancy draped over his every movement, and that was what made her drop her phone and get to her feet, although she couldn't do more than that as he came ever closer. She knew this was her chance and that Peyton was right, but wrong at the same time. She was the one who had to fix her screw-up. Fate may have brought him here, or it may not have, but it didn't matter how he got here. She had to take it from here. She threw herself into his arms and before he could utter a word she drew him into a kiss, which she knew surprised him, but the intensity of it also surprised her.

Sparks flying was nothing compared to the emotions flying through her. She lost herself in him and his touch, not knowing if this would be the last time she got to touch him, or if he would push her away at any moment. She felt her feet lift off the sand and she wasn't sure if that was in her mind or not but she wrapped her hands in his hair and held on tight. She knew it did have to end and she did have to talk, so she pulled away when air became an absolute necessity.

The pain she had been feeling had melted away at his touch and she physically knew she was standing on the beach with him, but she felt like she was flying with the clouds and she didn't want this feeling to end. She looked into his brown eyes and braced herself. "I lied. I love you Julian, and I don't want you to go. I know you have to, but I want you to know something first. I will spend every minute of those two years missing you, and waiting for you to come back. I was scared, because I knew you have to leave, but I know now that I can't let you go without knowing that you know I love you. I don't know what made you come back, but I'm glad you did. Please, tell me I'm not alone here, that you feel this too, because I can't imagine that something that feels this real can be one-sided. I understand if I hurt you by telling you we can only be friends, but-"

To cut off her rambling he smiled his charming grin and placed a finger on her lips. "Brooke, I wouldn't be here if you didn't mean something to me. I love you, Brooke Davis, and I won't ask anything of you except to write me, and don't stop thinking of me. So many things could happen between now and two years from now, but if I had known I would find you in these two weeks, I never would have re-enlisted. I have been looking for something my whole life, and I didn't realize it was you until I went back to visit my parents and I couldn't stop thinking of you and this beach. One place, one person has never worked their way so deeply into my heart, and I'm glad you told me the truth now," he said, before kissing her again.

Sweet relief flowed through her, quickly followed by a burning fire that would only be sated by one thing. She knew she had things she was supposed to be doing, and her kids probably needed her, but there was only one place she could be right now: on this beach, with this man, and she was going to spend every moment she could with him before he had to leave, and then she would spend every moment after that waiting for the moment she could be in his arms again. "I love you, Julian Baker," she said, and then she made love to him, feeling things she had never ever dreamed of feeling before.

OTH OTH OTH OTH OTH OTH OTH OTH OTH OTH OTH OTH OTH OTH OTH OTH OTH OTH

Walking into the house, Lucas was once again had to take a moment to pause and just thank whatever higher power there was that had gotten him back with Peyton. He was grateful for every moment that he got to call this house home, and he would never take any of this for granted again. He loved her with everything he had and now that she had taken him back he had vowed to prove that to her no matter what it took, no matter how long it took. She was the only woman who had his heart, and now that she called him hers again, he would never let her forget it, never let himself forget it.

Something seemed off, though, he noticed. He wasn't sure what it was, but her car hadn't been in the driveway, and he hadn't thought anything of it moments ago, but now there was something eating at him. He walked into the kitchen, and then he knew exactly what it was. He spotted the papers that had been tossed onto the table, and he knew she had seen them. He didn't even need a closer look before he knew exactly what happened. He turned and was headed for the front door again, but then something occurred to him and he ran up the stairs, headed for the attic.

The box was where he had known it was, because he always knew where it was. He had known the day she had moved it, and he had understood why at the time. He opened it and pulled one item out of it, heading back down the stairs and out the front door. He went straight for his car and went to find her, trying to come up with the words that would make her stop doubting and say yes. He still didn't know what he was going to say when he parked the car, but he got out anyway, looking for that familiar black car.

Stopping for only a moment when he didn't spot it, he continued on to her mother's grave stone anyway, knowing that no matter where she had parked the car, this was where she would be. Her curly blonde hair was most definitely behind the stone as he drew closer and his footsteps quickened without him realizing it, and he knew that she could sense his approach, but she didn't say a word. He didn't mind though; he came up until he was right in front of her and he knelt down onto one knee, taking her hands from around her knees.

Shock filled her green eyes, but she still couldn't say anything. He opened his mouth and drew in a breath, but suddenly she found her voice. "What do you think you're doing, Lucas?" she asked, but before he could answer she went on. She was scared to give him a moment to speak before she got her feelings off of her chest. "The papers came today, Lucas. We're not married anymore. It's officially over. The story that we thought would never have an ending officially ended. What are we doing?" she pulled her hands away from his and ran them through her hair. She was biting on her lip and she couldn't form another word. She knew now that was why this had hit her so hard.

Things had been so great lately. It had seemed like before, and a part of her had almost forgotten that they had even filed the papers, but then there they were. Her story was over. Her epic love, finished with a set of papers she had never wanted in the first place. She knew they never should have been filed at all, but they had been. She was a divorced mother of eight and here was her ex-husband, whom she still loved, who still loved her, and she didn't know where to go from here. She had been thrown by the papers, even though she knew her heart shouldn't have been. She just waited for him to speak, wondering if he could say anything that could fix this.

Staring into her bright green eyes, Lucas waited to make sure she was done talking before he opened his mouth again. "It's not over, Peyton," he said and she made a noise, like if that was all he was going to say it wasn't going to be enough. He cocked an eyebrow at her, but kept going. "We're not over. No way, I refuse to believe that. That chapter of our lives is over. There was a part of us that went bad, and it was my fault, I admit it, but it had to go. Things got screwed up between us. That was what ended, not us. We'll never be over, Peyton, because you are the only one I want, for the rest of my life, for the rest of forever. You're my dream, Peyton, and you always will be," he grinned at her.

For the most part, she knew that, and all those words sounded good, but a small part of her still wasn't sure, and she wanted to be sure before she committed to him again. Being Lucas, he knew when something was bothering her, of course. "Peyton, I know you may have a hard time trusting me, and I completely understand that, but I promise that those papers also ended that person I turned into. He's over, done with. I want to be a man worthy of you, Peyton, and of our love. That person I used to be, is not someone I want to ever be again. For the rest of our lives, I promise you, I will work on being a better man, the man we both want me to be," he vowed.

Blushing, she looked down. Somehow, that had been exactly what she needed to hear. He knew that without her saying a word, so he went on. "Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer, formerly Scott, formerly Sawyer," he said to make her chuckle, which it did, "I promise you, I will spend every day for the rest of forever convincing you that you are the one I want to be with, the one I love with all my heart, the only one that will ever have my heart, if you will just agree to be my wife, again," he implored, taking one of her hands in his and using his other hand to raise her chin so he could look into her eyes again.

Biting on her lip, she stared into the blue eyes that had been able to take her breath away since she was sixteen. He had always been, and always would be the person who had her heart, and she knew that. Yes, they had gone through hard times, but no one else had ever been able to make her feel the way he made her feel. She knew she could say no, tell him they needed to slow down, and wait, their marriage just ended, why rush back into it, but she knew that they would get married again anyway, so what was the point in waiting, when her heart was screaming for her to say yes. "Yes, Lucas Eugene Scott, yes, I will marry you again," she said.

Pulling her to him, he met her lips in a kiss, holding her tight before breaking away to take the ring out of his pocket. Her eyes widened as she saw it and he took her left hand, slipping it onto her ring finger. She looked down at the ring on her hand, which she had taken off months ago, and which she knew he had put back in the box, but she didn't know that he had known where she had put the box, and then back up to his eyes. "Yes, I knew where it was. I've always known the exact location of that box, Peyton, and every item in it," he said with a smile before standing up and pulling her to her feet, kissing her again.

When she pulled away, she was biting her lip to hide her smile, but she knew she couldn't fool him. She quirked her eyebrow as something occurred to her. "Um, were the papers all scattered on the floor when you saw them?" she asked, and he shook his head, causing her to slowly nod. "Right, well then, that just broke half of our news to the kids. They'll all know by now. Now we just have to tell them we're getting married again," she said, looking over his shoulder and just then noticing Jake walking up behind Lucas.

**A/N: **_I know it's been a long time, but I am still alive! I think I'll be able to update more now. I can't make any promises though. I've had writers block for a long time, but hopefully that's over. I hope you like this chapter. Let me know if anyone is still reading, and if you like it. Thanks for the reviews I have already received. I appreciate them all!_

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own anything._


	19. Forever and Always

Sharing a look with Peyton, Lucas kissed her forehead, and then said he was going to drive his car back to the house, and he'd meet her there. He walked away, leaving Jake and Peyton standing alone next to her mother's grave. "Well, um, I guess you just heard our good news," she said with a nervous smile, wondering what he was thinking. She knew that he had said he wasn't here to get her back, but she also knew that Brooke had called him and told him she was getting divorced and he had shown up. She just wasn't sure.

Smiling at her, Jake pulled her into a hug. "I'm happy for you, Peyton. I got a call from Brooke, who was told by Sophie, who had just talked to Ainsley that you had taken off this morning, after receiving your divorce papers in the mail. I thought I was going to have to come here and talk you out of leaving Lucas again. I'm glad that the two of you figured it out on your own this time," he joked, hugging her probably longer than normal friends would hug, but she didn't say anything.

Looping her arm through his, she started walking towards his car, grinning widely. "Yeah, well, it's about time I pulled my head out of my ass and just let myself be happy, I guess," she joked back. She was glad that Jake had moved back, because he was a good guy. She hoped that he would find love one day, but she knew that it just wasn't her. She was meant to be with Lucas. She loved Jake, but just as a friend. "Come over for dinner. I'm going to call Brooke, and Haley and Nathan. I'll probably order pizza, but we can hang out and celebrate my engagement. It'll be fun," she offered as they reached his car.

Shrugging, Jake agreed. "Sure, I'll follow you to your house," he said as they stopped walking. He stared at her for a brief moment before continuing. "Speaking of Brooke, you should call her, let her know you're okay. Probably Haley, too. You know Brooke, when she thinks there's something wrong with you, she calls everyone to alert them and see what they know," he laughed, pulling the keys to his car out of his pocket.

Laughing with him, Peyton began to walk backwards towards her car. "I've got to jump in the shower when I get home, but I'm sure Lucas will be there already. He better wait until I get there to tell the kids," she broke off, her tone saying that Lucas would be in trouble if he didn't wait for her to get home before opening his mouth. She brought herself back to what she was saying. "I believe we have a bottle of wine at home. The adults can have some fun tonight," she waved, and then turned as she continued to walk to her car.

When Peyton and Jake arrived at her house, she jumped in the shower as she had said, and the guys were left in the living room. She had to call some of her kids to get them home, and she had called Brooke and Haley while she was on her way home. She was going to call for the pizza when she got out of the shower, and Brooke had even said she was going to bring over a bottle of champagne, because Peyton had said she had good news, and Brooke, of course, had immediately guessed what it was.

While Peyton was in the shower, and Jake and Lucas were talking in the living room. "Well, Lucas, I'm happy for you. I mean, she's a great woman. I'm glad you realized what you had lost before it was too late. You guys really are perfect together, and I know you make her happy. So just make sure you don't hurt her again, because as her good friend I'd have to hurt you, and I'm not entirely sure I could take you," Jake said with a laugh.

Laughing, Lucas watched Jake, not entirely sure if the other man really was happy for him and Peyton. He knew that Jake had once been in love with Peyton, but he wasn't sure if he was anymore. He knew that Jake hadn't come back just because Jenny had moved out of his house, but he couldn't tell if Jake was faking his happiness for the blonde couple or not. "Well, Jake, thanks, man. I know that you know what it's like losing her. It's not easy. I only hope that you find the woman who makes you as happy as Peyton makes me," he said.

Nodding, Jake thanked the blond man, but didn't say anything. He was thinking, but Lucas couldn't tell what he was thinking about. "I'm only telling you this because we were once really good friends, but I once thought the woman who could make me happy was Peyton, but I've seen her. I saw her when you guys were apart, and I see her now that you guys are happy again, and I know I could never make her as happy as you make her, Lucas," he said, and the two men came to an understanding. Both of them loved Peyton Sawyer, but they both knew who she loved and who she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

A little while later, Brooke and her kids, and Nathan and Haley and their kids had arrived, and the rest of the sextuplets had gotten home too. Peyton opened the champagne, pouring everyone over age a glass, and giving the minors sparkling cider. She called up the twins on speaker phone in a three-way call, and she and Lucas prepared to tell everyone their news. "Well, um, I'm sure you've all heard that we got the divorce papers in the mail this morning," she said, and she got murmurs from the group as everyone wondered where this was going.

Most of them had a good idea, but some of her kids really didn't expect what was coming. "Well, we won't be divorced long. Lucas proposed to me today, and we're getting married again," she announced, squeezing Lucas's hand and looking at everyone. There were mixed reactions, but the overall effect was everyone wanted the two blondes to be happy. She could tell that Madison was a little disgruntled, even though she pretended to be happy for them, but she knew that her daughter would get used to the idea, once she realized that this time they were in it for the long haul.

When everyone had digested the news and they got off the phone with the twins-Peyton wanted to get the update on their college lives-they all sat down in the living room and ate pizza and just hung out. She knew it had been a long time since they had all gotten together like this, and as she looked around at almost everyone she loved, except for the teenagers in college of course, she knew that she was making the right choice for her. She knew it was going to take some hard work, but she couldn't be happy without Lucas, and that was that.

A few weeks into October, Peyton was well into the wedding plans, with Brooke's help-actually Brooke did most of it, and just passed her decisions by Peyton for approval-with a tentative date for December 20th. She thought a winter wedding would be nice. She had gotten married in the summer the first time around, and now she wanted things to be different. She was glad that she wouldn't be carrying the pregnancy pounds this time around. She hoped she wouldn't be, anyway.

When she woke up for the fourth morning in a row with morning sickness, she began to question that, though. She went to her calendar and started counting days, finding that she was late for her period. She couldn't believe that, though. She had been told when she had given birth to the twins that she wouldn't be able to have a baby again on her own, without help, which had proved true. They hadn't gotten pregnant in the past 16 years, and they had used no birth control whatsoever. So how could she be pregnant now? She couldn't be.

Of course, she knew that doctors were sometimes wrong, and sometimes things happened that were inexplicable, but she just couldn't believe she was pregnant. She would have to take a few tests to be sure, but she wanted someone with her. She couldn't ask Lucas, because she didn't want to get his hopes up for no reason, but she could ask her best friend. She knew that Brooke had been trying to keep herself busy with other things, so the brunette would love the fact that her best friend was having a pregnancy scare.

Just as she thought that, she heard her phone start ringing, and the ring tone that was floating through the room told her that it was aforementioned best friend calling her. She wondered if Brooke had some kind of psychic abilities that she had never mentioned as she crossed into her bedroom and pulled her phone off the charger. She flipped it open and put it to her ear. "Hey, B. Davis, just the best friend I was thinking of. I need to talk to you. We're supposed to meet today so we can take my measurements for my dress, right?" she asked.

After talking to Brooke for a little bit longer, Peyton hung up the phone so she could get ready, and find where Lucas had run off to. She knew he hadn't been in bed when she had gotten up, so she headed downstairs. She found him in the kitchen, where he had a plate of breakfast waiting for her. "I already made the kids breakfast and sent them off the school. I was going to wake you up, but you looked so sweet and peaceful that I just couldn't do it. You want a cup of coffee?" he asked, reaching into the cupboard to grab her a mug.

For a moment, Peyton just stood in the doorway of the kitchen. She thought maybe it wouldn't be so bad to have a baby again. Lucas had always been great with the babies, and she knew that before this whole ordeal had happened she would have freaked out at the idea of having another baby, but now she knew they were a stronger couple, and they could do this. She knew the sextuplets would be leaving the house in a couple years, and she wasn't sure she was ready to have an empty house yet. She wanted to be a new mommy again, and Haley had just had a baby, so the new baby would have someone its own age in the family.

The more she thought about it, the more she realized she wasn't scared, if she was pregnant. She was brought out of her thoughts by Lucas asking her if she was alright, and she just crossed the kitchen, wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a kiss. She knew he was a little surprised, but he still kissed her back, wrapping his arms around her waist to pull her closer. "Good morning, fiancé," she said when she pulled away, grabbing the cup of coffee he had just poured for her and sitting at the table to eat.

Following her, Lucas sat next to her, watching her as she ate. She blushed as she realized he was watching her, and cocked an eyebrow, silently asking him what he was staring at. "You seriously are the most amazing woman in the world. What did I ever do to deserve you? I can't believe I get to spend forever with you," he said, causing her to blush even more, and he reached out and caressed her cheek. "It's the truth, you know," he added.

Shaking her head, she put her fork down and reached up, taking his hand in hers as she looked into his earnest blue eyes. "Forever and always. We've always been meant to have it, Lucas, and we will get it. You are the one who convinced me that we're True Love Always, after all. I just can't wait for the day when I get to be Peyton Scott again. Only two more months, and then I'll be Peyton Scott until the day I die," she leaned over and kissed him again.

Kissing her back with increasing passion, they both forgot the plate of breakfast Peyton had started to eat. He couldn't resist saying something else though. "You've always been Peyton Scott, to me. Even though your name isn't technically Scott anymore, you're still Peyton Scott, because you're my wife, even if the papers don't say it. Even if I had gotten with Lindsey, and you had married someone else, you would always be Peyton Scott, and I would always love you," he stared into her emerald green orbs and kissed her again.

This time, the mention of Lindsey and all that had happened didn't cause her to retreat behind her walls. She knew that it had been a mistake, but it had happened, and she knew that they had emerged a stronger couple for it, and that made her love him all the more. She pulled back for a moment, and stood, backing towards the stairs. "Well, I have to go meet Brooke soon, but I might have some time for a little steamy shower sex," she sent him a look, unbuttoning the shirt she was wearing of his. That was all it took to make him follow her.

When she walked into Brooke's Tree Hill shop, she noticed that her best friend had cleared the place out for the day. She walked into the back, where she knew Brooke would be. "Brooke, I have to be honest with you," she started as she came up behind the woman. "You're kind of lucky we planned the wedding to be so soon, otherwise I might have been putting on pregnancy pounds by the time I actually walked down the aisle, and that is not a road I want to go down again," she joked.

The other woman had jumped at the sound of Peyton's voice, turning around and holding a hand to her chest, since Peyton had startled her. She thought about what the blonde had said, and then she just broke down in tears. Peyton, alarmed, walked closer and pulled her best friend into a hug, asking her what the problem was. "I think I'm pregnant too," she cried. She looked at her best friend and realized that Peyton still didn't get why it was a problem. "I don't know if it's Julian's or Owen's" she added.

Rubbing her best friends back, she realized the problem. She knew Brooke didn't want another child with Owen, because that could give Owen a chance to convince her to take him back, but at the same time, she would be sad if it was Julian's because he would be gone for two years, and he would miss a lot. "Well, Brooke, first we need to find out if either of us have a problem, so we need to go buy some pregnancy tests. Then we can come back here and take them and we'll figure out where to go from there," she said, trying to comfort her best friend.

An hour later they knew the results to their tests. Brooke had started crying again when she had gotten a positive reading, and Peyton knew that Brooke should be happy, but it was hard, when she was divorcing one man, in love with another man, and she didn't know which one's child she was carrying. She knew that Brooke would get through it though. "You'll be alright. You're Brooke Davis. You can do anything, even have another kid at the age of 38," she reassured her best friend.

Wiping her tears, Brooke realized that Peyton was right. She shouldn't be sad she was having another baby, she should be happy. She would have to go to the doctors and figure out when she had gotten pregnant so she could figure out who the baby belonged to, but either way, she knew that this didn't have to change things. She was still divorcing Owen, and nothing would make her take him back. She loved Julian, and she knew he would love her even if she had another child from her ex-husband. He would love it as his own the same way he would love her other kids, because he loved her.

Smiling, she knew she would get through this, especially since she had Peyton as a best friend, not to mention the rest of their extended family. She may not have been related to them through either blood or marriage, but Peyton and Lucas, and Haley and Nathan and all their children were still her family. She realized that Peyton had to be having her own emotions. "Hey, what about you? What are you going to do?" she asked her best friend, reaching over and placing a hand on Peyton's arm.

Smiling, Peyton was shocked to find she wasn't the least bit disappointed. She wouldn't have expected that, but there it was. She knew that this was the right thing. "Well, I'm going to go home and tell Lucas that we're having another child, and then I guess we continue planning the wedding, and take it from there. I'm okay with this, Brooke, really," she said, and Brooke accepted that answer, so they got up and began to take her measurements for her wedding dress, which had been the original plan in the first place.

**A/N: **_Well, this is the last chapter. I could have continued, and done the wedding and everything, but we've all read about plenty of Leyton weddings, I'm sure. I know I have at least. I didn't really expect this to be the ending chapter, but if just seemed to finalize things, and I knew drawing it out any longer would be unnecessary. I hoped you all liked it, and I hope you leave a review and tell me what you think. Thanks for all my other reviews. I appreciate all my readers and those of you who have followed this to the end, despite the times when I thought the next update would never get written. They did, even if they took a long time, and I'm grateful for my fans who never lost faith in me. You're the best!_

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own anything._


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